Long ago dreams
Dead cuz of choices made
No rhyme or reason
To this ****** addiction

No one can hear my screams
Inside my head they never fade
Living in hell no matter the season
Lost in this ****** addiction

Unbearable demons haunt me
No longer able to maintain
I give in to the anger
Finding absolution in this ****** addiction

This isn't how I want to be
Life's roller coaster ride has been insane
I have nothing left to wager
Stagnated by this ****** addiction

Broken promises left broken hearts
And kids without their mother
And a Mom beaten down and ashamed
Pain became the justification in this ****** addiction

Filled with guilt that never departs
And an anguish like no other
My past can no longer be blamed
Reality is I got complacent in this ****** addiction

Fighting so hard yet only feeling defeat
Can't seem to find the light
So tired of always hurting
I run into the chaos of this ****** addiction

I bow my head without conceit
Crying out to God with all my might
But desolation can be very disconcerting
When trying to escape this ****** addiction

Time and time again I tried and failed
To leave this life behind
Only to lose myself once more
To the hypnotic pull of this ****** addiction

This crazy train has been derailed
No longer strung outta my mind
Going to spread my wings and soar
The hell away from this ****** addiction

I'm left alone again
Frozen in fear
So much pain within
Won't let anyone near
Everyone else is to blame
My judgement was made
Victim was my claim
But all memories fade
Without a doubt
My life has been insane
Pain has torn my heart out
My composure i couldn't maintain
What more can be told
Anger swallowed me whole
Drugs left me in the cold
The truth so long denied
All the lost years
And the tears I've cried
Afraid to face my fears
I've heard people say
That time heals
And the pain will go away
That's not how it feels
When I'm left alone again

She never meant to be ******
Some things just come easy
Every touch made her queasy
Hard lessons life taught her
Hold her back from the slaughter
Can't keep her head above water
Her tears fall like rain
Still she smiles through the pain
Till no feelings remain
Nothing seems to go right
No end in sight
Tried so hard to fight
A reason to live she can't find
Battles in the mind
Are often the worst kind
Living in contention
Constantly lost in frustration
The past she will not mention
She was destined for greatness
Before drugs became a weakness
Now she embraces the emptiness

The kiss of death
The purge of pain
The rush of ****
Driving me insane
The hypnotic pull
Of chaotic madness
Looking like a fool
Surrounded by darkness
Enemies hiding all around
Drowning in a black abyss
No light to be found
In this drug induced bliss
The game pulled me in
Now it's much too late
I'm covered in sin
And death is my fate

Painful memories buried within
Replaying in the shadows of my mind
Wonder if I will ever begin
To understand why I got left behind
Searched for answers in vain
Looked for something to hide the shame
I surrendered to the pain
One shot and I was never the same
Beautiful became my sadness
At just the thought of the needles *****
Trapped in a warped sense of madness
I became all kinds of sick
In a nightmare I became lost
Submerged in a hopeless reality
I paid the ultimate cost
When I chose drugs over my family
Dreams came crashing to the ground
Without my family I lost all hope
So it was operation **** to be found
Blissful nothingness was my way to cope
Paranoia? Or is no one to be trusted?
No lessons were ever taught
Until I got busted
Now that's food for thought

Living in digrace
Too much shame to face
So many dreams to chase
But drugs became my saving grace
The pitter patter of little feet
I thought my life was complete
I hate to admit my defeat
With drugs they couldn't compete
The laughter and the tears
Of my little dears
Should have relieved my fears
But their joy and pain fell on deaf ears
Dreams and promises were shattered
Drugs became the only thing that mattered
Now here I sit broken and battered
While my children's hearts are tattered
Fighting a battle within
Between my need for drugs and no good men
Will I ever see how to begin
To learn to live again