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I'm left alone again
Frozen in fear
So much pain within
Won't let anyone near
Everyone else is to blame
My judgement was made
Victim was my claim
But all memories fade
Without a doubt
My life has been insane
Pain has torn my heart out
My composure i couldn't maintain
What more can be told
Anger swallowed me whole
Drugs left me in the cold
The truth so long denied
All the lost years
And the tears I've cried
Afraid to face my fears
I've heard people say
That time heals
And the pain will go away
That's not how it feels
When I'm left alone again
Being alone is not something I'm good at but I'm working on it
She never meant to be ******
Some things just come easy
Every touch made her queasy
Hard lessons life taught her
Hold her back from the slaughter
Can't keep her head above water
Her tears fall like rain
Still she smiles through the pain
Till no feelings remain
Nothing seems to go right
No end in sight
Tried so hard to fight
A reason to live she can't find
Battles in the mind
Are often the worst kind
Living in contention
Constantly lost in frustration
The past she will not mention
She was destined for greatness
Before drugs became a weakness
Now she embraces the emptiness
Wrote this for a very good friend who died a few years ago
The kiss of death
The purge of pain
The rush of ****
Driving me insane
The hypnotic pull
Of chaotic madness
Looking like a fool
Surrounded by darkness
Enemies hiding all around
Drowning in a black abyss
No light to be found
In this drug induced bliss
The game pulled me in
Now it's much too late
I'm covered in sin
And death is my fate
Very angry and bitter time of my life
Painful memories buried within
Replaying in the shadows of my mind
Wonder ifI will ever begin
To understand why I got left behind
Searched for answers in vain
Looked for something to hide the shame
I surrendered to the pain
One shot and I was never the same
Beautiful became my sadness
At just the thought of the needles *****
Trapped in a warped sense of madness
I became all kinds of sick
In a nightmare I became lost
Submerged in a hopeless reality
I paid the ultimate cost
When I chose drugs over my family
Dreams came crashing to the ground
Without my family I lost all hope
So it was operation **** to be found
Blissful nothingness was my way to cope
Paranoia? Or is no one to be trusted?
No lessons were ever taught
Until I got busted
Now that's food for thought
Written in treatment
Living in digrace
Too much shame to face
So many dreams to chase
But drugs became my saving grace
The pitter patter of little feet
I thought my life was complete
I hate to admit my defeat
With drugs they couldn't compete
The laughter and the tears
Of my little dears
Should have relieved my fears
But their joy and pain fell on deaf ears
Dreams and promises were shattered
Drugs became the only thing that mattered
Now here I sit broken and battered
While my children's hearts are tattered
Fighting a battle within
Between my need for drugs and no good men
Will I ever see how to begin
To learn to live again
Written while in treatment

— The End —