Wait for me,
and I'll come back!
Wait with all you've got!
Wait, be patient and I shall return to your loving arms embrace
Wait, be patient till I may kiss your warm lips again,
wait, be patient no goodbyes and farewell tears,
Wait, for I have kept you close and your love protects,
Wait, until i sing to you once again my love,
Wait for me as I kiss your hand before I go,
Wait, until then remember our fondest memory.

Wait when cheerless yellow rain whispers that you need not.
wait as the leaves fall and flower withers,
wait even as the sky darkens and the moon changes,
wait as the dawn breaks the cold night sky,
Wait when the snow swirls fast, and the bitter freeze loses your warmth,
wait when the sun blazes hot,
wait even if the seasons change and I am not there,
wait for me though you cannot hear my voice,
wait even if we are miles apart in distant lands,
In foreign frontiers and unknown fronts,
wait for me and so we may dance again,
wait when long days are past and others have forgot.

Wait when from the distant place, word does not arrive.
Wait, when all those you face know I'm not alive.
Wait for me, and I'll come back!
Wait for me, don't fret!
When they tell you there's no doubt that it's time to forget,
Be strong have fate for I shall be back,
Wait and keep me in your thoughts for you are on mine,
Even when those dearest to me tell you I am gone and past.
As your eyes swell to tears from their words,
Even if it shatter your heart to doubt if I am still alive,
Even when my nearest give up, claiming it's been too long.
Even if they honor my name and what little I left behind,
Let's raise a glass of bitter sweet wine, to the friend who's passed into glory -  But wait!

Don't share that drink! Wait until the last!
Wait for me and I'll come back, Cheating every fate,
Deciding when to live and past,
Enduring the odds and evading deaths grasp.
Through the anguish and slaughter of the field,
Though my body suffers and tires my soul cries to survive,
For you are waiting for me to come back,
Broken and scarred I shall return to you,
Wait until i can hold your soft soothing hands once more.
They who had lost hope shall be in shock,
"A nice stroke of luck!" they'll say,
those that could not wait.

Only they will never know how amid the strife,
Amid those who now lay in anguish lost and scattered,
by waiting for me, my dear,
and you saved my life,
You have brought peace to my soul.
But the two of us will know,
How you got me home.
Only you knew how to wait,
it was you alone.

if all souls are beautiful and warm
why does mine feel a coldness
to which cracks and shards
rip my being in painful forms

Deep in sleep,
The child dreams.
Free from fright,
Free of plight.
A child dreams,
Uncorrupt and forever gleams,
Deep in sleep a child dreams,
Forever pure,
Deep in sleep.

what I see are amber hue
waltzing in a violet haze
swirling and falling brightly
with petals of golden glaze
yet you don't see what I view

you are young
you have so much
so much in time given
you have one life
as well as one death
it would be best
to have a purpose
to put meaning in it
as you wander along
alone or with company
do not waste it in the rain

winter won't last too long
till the snow melts and ice cracks
as the sun shines its warmth
and the trees bear leaves,
the flowers blooms once more,
and as the first birds return home
spring shall come quite soon
this cold will fade by its coming warmth
and as the season change so will you

We are not merely heroes
But sons of the flesh of Adam
We answer the call when needed
We feel pain and endure life
Till the grave absolves us from our sins
We carry on our duty with valor

© 2019

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste is more than I can take!

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
By becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

What founded this nation wasn't the foreign immigrants
But the overseas workers who wish for better deliverance
Leaving the country in order to escape and survive
In return to rebuild the peoples name and its pride
Their ideas formed in the curiosity of the mind
Bringing such educated and civilize men who are refine
To whom our heroes have brought forth such ability
Feeling freedom in the breeze in the western vicinity
Such action and talks or not only to be whispered
for the youth to act and shout like a raging twister
printing the words of a voiceless ******* nation
Exposing the church and state without doubt or hesitation
pens and tongues are sharper than any sabers blade
our verse we preach putting light to your devious shade

facing the early morning
we wish that wouldn't come
scared of what may bring upon
slumber brings such comforts
yet who else shall face it for you
scared i know but you are strong
its time to get up time to rise
to face the gleam of day

what can i say to the beauty that is the morning dawn
the one that lights the sky and chases the night away

i carry your heavy burdened heart
i have waited patiently as i court
i wrote and made love to you on paper
this was not simple task nor easy a labor
you kindle the flames that blaze  
bringing me in such a tamed craze
i spilled my ink across the sheets to you
with gentle sweet passion that is true
caressing you with each sentence and letter
from your curves and lips with pleasure

if you delay me justice
you have denied me justice

Dear Good Sir,

I have always voiced my thoughts and opinion
Receiving both regards to praise and criticism  
Wearing my heart on my sleeve that's my conviction
Never have i deceived myself in such pragmatism
I was never bias in words I verse as I reflect
Yet you accuse me of such contempt and disrespect
Still I understand good man your grievances
But you are one in many I argued in disagreements
I had rather been quite divisive
Than to be leisurely indecisive
I can't apologize for even your legitimate allegation  
I stand by my opinions even if it will mean the end our relation

Your humble colleague,
M. Ocuaman

empty canvas that's all there is
none to write to paint or give
to a world that often looks
too far to see what beauty is
and what lies within

forget me for i am not that of gold
forget the words and verses i once told
forget the flowers i had tended to
let it be forgotten as ashes blew
i shall fade like a flame to the air
forget the memories we  used to share
leave me nameless and forgotten
I am another stranger in the autumn
i was but a shadow in your dream
if you ask i am a ghost by the stream
i shall not be missed shed no tear
yearning melodies whispers of yesteryear

Under the blossoming tree
Lays her bed of stone,
Crafted by her alone,
Maiden now of bone,
Together for eternity,
Shall never be alone.
She lays with hair tangled,
While petals lie mangled.
She lays in a rest unknown,
With her warrior of stone,
Keeping her calm...
Like the roots of a great vine
In a loving embrace

what made me special or better
then the rest of the crowd
what made me great or unique
to your eyes from the billions around

so tell me why
did you grab my hand
and drag me to greater heights than this

are you okay with me
are you fine with this

am I just a joke of a choice
or a mistake that you made

cause please tell me

cause I'm still in doubt
still in doubt

if you love me

LETS NOT SAY "I LOVE YOU"
LETS JUST PRETEND WE'RE OKAY
JUST LIE ENOUGH THAT IT BECOMES TRUTH
HIDING AND HOLDING HANDS TILL WE GO HOME
SAYING TO ALL THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS
THOUGH I WISH IT WAS REAL WHAT WE BOTH FELT
HOW WE LOOK INTO EACH OTHERS EYES
SEEING THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO WE ARE RIGHT NOW
WE ARE MERELY SINNERS UPON THEIR EYES
THOUGH WE KISS AND SMILE WITHIN THE SHADOWS
WHISPERING WORDS MEANT FOR OTHERS  
ASHAMED OF WHAT WE DO IF CAUGHT BY THE LIGHT
YET UNTIL THE TIME IS RIGHT WILL LET THINGS END

I've watch her in this pedestal stand,
And touching her has bless my hand,
Did my heart loved with bliss till now?

I swear to heaven for with my sight,
I had never known beauty till tonight,
Temptations of the flesh, a blessed sin.

Ecstasy upon such dreams I've dreamt,
Oh fruit of Eden such luring sweet scent,
How you wisp my words away...

Days has never felt so long
I smile alone like nothing's wrong
Yet I wish you didn't wanna stay
cause all you do is look the other way

smelling the scent of your perfume
I could stare at you all day and afternoon
but all you did was look the other way
you make me feel so helpless that I stay

this memories we made linger along
the love we shared was blissfully short
my love was weak yet you were strong
i long to forget you but it takes so long

careful to not play with the flames of the candle that keeps you alight and warm,
careful not to be fooled by its sweet scent a rose can give with it sharpest thorns,
careful not to jump on the edge of a cliff to which the abyss urges you to do,
careful to make a promise that you could never keep for we both play lies and tricks,
careful to preach words of comfort just to make sins in the shadows.

red is your heart
a rose that never age
clear is the water that flows
from my soul that pours to you
to choose such a fair rose
from the garden you grow
I will tend to you as you to me
that this love will blossom forever

soothed beneath your hands
like heavenly stars on earth
a whisked kiss by the breeze
sends me ever closer to you

This world beautiful and addicting traps me
with the eternal smell of roses in the air,
the forever sunny skies,
the beautiful grassy fields;
but one thing is missing
the imperfections,
love, heartbreak, sadness
I stay forever trapped in this beautiful lonely world.

I loath myself for loving you

Will you dance with me?
A sweet melody,
whispers of us two,
and the girl I knew.

Let me clasp you close to me,
as gentle as the breezes that breathes,
harmonic symphony that sparks,
cascading through the world.

Stumbling scattering embers,
blissful angel smiles and laughter,
blushing youth that blossom about,
captivated entwined hand in hand.

I spun you round and round,
you fell laughing to the ground,
I thought I could keep you near,
I never thought you'd leave here.

vivid blurs of such memories,
felt like distant lucid dreams,
wandering thoughts of merry months,
she sways away as did time does.

I went searching for you, far and wide,
I never thought that you had died,
I kept you alive in my heart,
so we'd never ever be apart.

Through the gardens that bloom,
peaceful plains and quiet rooms,
humming your serene songs,
distant thoughts hang so strong.

Today, I found you once again,
your hair blew in the summer's wind,
but alas to me, you weren't the same,
somehow you had broken the chain.

For Spring it sprang as Spring it does,
winter’s loss becomes summers gleam,
a song of old enchanting memories,
for life has a passion for living.

The ring I gave you, you held dear,
I can see it now, though I'm no seer,
I'll go looking for you once again,
even though our paths don't blend.

So dance in the future with me,
my sweet love,
and promise you'll wait for me,
for I'll be there, by and by,
and sing to you our lullaby.

I'm the sorcerer, you're the witch,
never thought that you could stitch,
together with a broken heart,
you'd found a boy who wasn't quite smart.

I want to be like you are that of one light,
to see your eyes looking back into mine,
in the sight of every eye underneath the moon,
promenading through the mid starry night,
acoustic harmony of a heart that beats of one.

timeless illusion that swirls in the mist,
underneath the milk light of moon,
all that was lost is now revealed,
beckoning hums of golden memories.

I fell for you, I took you in,
though the light in my castle was dim,
I could see the spell cast upon you,
oh my dear sweet, I love you.

saw you sitting alone at your favorite spot in that cafe
watching you smile and daydream the world away
wish i could have found the words i really wanted say
yet here i am at just writing a poem for you that day

A set of children
The galaxy extends
Garden of imagination
Bridging the gap
Beckoning breeze
That melts the snow
Roller skating past the moon
As we try to evolve
Surreal dreams fill the air
A reverie of endeavor
Black rainbow hues
That paints a broken mirror
Sailing and gliding
At the edge of my sanity

Fading leaves
Of autumn's bliss
Now enters spring
A new dyed wing
Colors of May
are light as day
Thinking of you
And what shall I do
Maybe it's time
To say goodbye
Or maybe it's time
To stay put for a while
Connected hearts
Doing their parts
Making leaving you
Painfully so hard
So as the wings of May
I'll be here to stay
Waiting for you to be
Till the answer comes to me

If I can forget and lose myself
even for just a moment
and scream and not say
the words I've felt within
would it made any difference
in the madness of my own sanity

The thoughts are prodding within my mind
Constantly attacking.
Desiring.
Wishing.
I try not to think about it,
But my mind just can't get enough of it
My mind always seems to wonder towards the same thing...
Over and over again, a cycle of endless thoughts.
Feeling the feelings welling up
Knowing that i am unable to escape

Obsession.
It feels as though i am obsessed with it.
My fingers tingle, almost begging for more
Like a drug, i take my thoughts
And i allow them to overtake me
For a moment, it can almost be euphoria
Filled with regret and pain, but also happiness and buzzing

Trying to stop these thoughts
Trying to stop them from entering my head
Trying to let go of that obsession

Can one be obsessed with multiple things at once?
With multiple thoughts and feelings, unable to let go
To quit them like cold turkey.

Money does not bound me to quit
Its all in my head...
Its not an addiction like the drugs you buy
I don't go to someone else to strive for it
To bargain and beg for more
It feels different than that

The feelings can be so overwhelming
Only knowing those feelings in that moment
Wanting it back, even listening
Because for a moment...
The mind didn't drift.
It only wanted its obsession
It was completely focused on that obsession

I could be obsessed with sadness
Feeling the water drifting down my face
Thinking of the things happening in my life
Addicted to the sting of pain it gives me
Addicted to almost wanting to be alone
Addicted to the way the muscles on my face moving down, the smile almost hurting my face

I could be obsessed with joy
Feeling the laughter erupting from my mouth
Making hard to breath, an almost sweet pain coming over my chest
My heart rushing
My head numb from no air
And then able to calm down,
Obsessed with the feeling that happened in a moment
When nothing was in my mind but that joy

I could be obsessed with anger
Feeling the warm, boiling feeling overcome me
Allowing it to burst out
Raising my voice so that i know others can hear me
The look on their faces when i know they are listening
Because it seems like no one is listening unless i raise my voice and let it all out
It can be addicting, allowing that feeling to overtake you

It might be easier if i was obsessed with an object...
Then maybe then...
I could let it drop.
Let go of my obsession.
Allowing it to break into a million pieces.
Feeling all the negative feelings at once, causing me to fall onto the ground, my mind regretting it
My mind wanting it back so bad my heart aches
And then relieve can come over me
Maybe it will take a long time for relieve to come,
Or I would become 'Obsessed' with that feeling

Is it possible to be obsessed with a person?
Or perhaps i am obsessed with the feelings that come with them?
Feeling the tingling and the warmth when they are nearby
Feeling my breath hitch when i hear their voice
Addicted to those feelings
That desire can overtake someone so easily
The desire to be around that person
Obsessed with their everything
It can be as quick as the snapping of the fingers
Addiction to the obsession inevitable
One moment you are normal and like them...
And the next moment, obsession can overtake you

Obsession can almost be a breaking point
Our minds are constantly buzzing
Absorbing new information
But we can come to that point...
When our minds 'break' and we become addicted
When we become obsessed,
And desire nothing else but that feeling that we are obsessed with

dulce suave me enseñame a valor
Busco saber mi mariposa hermosa
que tu amor sea verdadero
tan verdadero como usted colorea la vista
puedo planear con usted
a través de los campos suaves
donde las rosas florecen verdaderas
donde sus maravillosos colores por última vez revelado

The morning sun glistens through the white curtains flowing in the wind,
The light smell of the sea being carried on the cool bed of wind that fills up our room
Light, piercing to shine on the ethereal you,
It almost feels like a sin to look at you but I can't help myself
Maybe i'll try again tomorrow

Such youthful beauty that lies awake
In smiles that hide such a frail pale heart
grows a shadow around a glowing radiant face
weary gentle golden eyes knows no escape

many questions have been eagerly ask
yet answers come so slow to even pass
misty country fields and wondrous night sky
as crackling ember ashes scattering light

oh my tender kind simple fellows
such hearts are glaze and mellow
moonbeams rays touches the darken house
serene and silent as a church mouse

painted portraits with palettes of black and blue
starry is the nights that only few have viewed
to stay awake with life so endlessly gray
knowing well the world is a chaotic fray

dreamers tear their mournful souls away
lovers passions fades like summers day
swirling winds flow through the grassy plains
twinkling stars that kisses my sorrowful pain

many great noble men we have come to idolize
rush themselves as if they were running out of time
sometimes its hard to put ourselves and even realize
the loss and the hardship when they were in their prime

battles have been fought and duels were made
chivalry a gentleman's standard his honor and pride
everything for a legacy a price too high had been paid
fate has destined that noble men die young as they stride

I was taught to obey
The god I am to worship
To the tones of the hymn I sway
To spread lies on my kinship

I devoted my life
And became His messenger
Cared little of the strife
Of families and their avengers

Women and children died
To spread a religion
Their bodies beaten and tied
To beat them into a descision

I was His
As was everything
In this world I used to remiss
Quite a merry thing

I should be an example
Of ideas and beliefs
They should not trample
I should help in times of grief

Yet I cause them
As they spread far and wide
Infidels we called them
Because they ran away to hide

Yet He always beckons
And I come to his aid
I have killed thousand; I reckon
To their graves they were laid

I feel as if I must break free
Before the final nail on my coffin
To run away and flee
Before I corrupt more of my offspring

They charged into war
With power and grace
A breed of horses
Wrapped in lace
The men oh wonderful
But slayed so forceful
Oh dear my Lord, my Shepard
My fate
Many have fallen with terrible hate
The skies were grey
The Devil was paid
With the lives of the fallen
And the grace of hate
Oh such grief
It twas such grim
As death played its hymn

tired of all the needless beating
tearing out my heart out all in blue
you once said "I'll never let you go"
yet those words just slipped away
we both seem to hate the ending
but it seems we could actually breathe

do the flowers still bloom where you live
do the green fields give the calm relief to forgive
you were a sweetheart who left a love at bay
you have left nothing but fond memory that day
sweet youth still naive filled with grand dreams
when all she loved and hoped for seems
oh faithful heart are you forever nineteen

how the sun shines from under the clouds
a warm breeze that makes the trees dance
waltzing, drifting, dreaming, far from the crowds
i wonder if you stayed would you had a better chance
what remains are this photos behind a glass pane
the sorrow, the suffering, the glory, the shame
oh faithful heart are you forever nineteen

your laughter and glee still echoes to me
from the grave you rest you are but free
faithful is the love your memory enshrined
of a young sweetheart you left behind
among the brave unknown fallen soldiers
you lay upon this field shoulder to shoulder
oh faithful heart you are forever nineteen

you who answered and believed in the call
young and rash you were with countless others
a generation that was butchered and ****** to fall
the killing and dying among his fellow brothers
nameless white crosses silently they stand
here in this graveyard it's still no man's land
oh faithful heart you are forever nineteen

if i can write
and if i can read
if i can dream
as i breathe
maybe someday
but not this day
will the tide change
for you and me

conflagration that light the evening sky
crackling smoldering moans and laughter
two flames that dances in a  wild swirl
embers that glows bright as the star
blazing burning in sweet sinful desire
such internal inferno that slowly grows

"The guns thundered endlessly,
Pitting holes all over the ground;
Yet that was a few years ago
And now this grassy hill utters no sound

"That is akin to the terror
That once sounded here long ago
As soldiers on both sides
Died in trying to defeat the foe.

"Yet in this grassy, peaceful land
Where red poppies dance in the breeze,
Once, men were cruelly butchered
So that other nations might be free.

"Upon this green hill
Where birds twitter in the trees,
Once cacophony reigned
And there was never a moment of peace.

"Then the ground shook
With the rumbles of artillery
While men charged again and again
Only to be slaughtered brutally.

"This place, then, was not green
But an ugly, muddy color
While men's blood poured out
As in their death throes they suffered.

"Pain! Death! And all for what?
What reason is there in this gory?
Many of them might have asked,
Gone from them dreams of glory

"As they only tried to stay alive
In this hell-wrought ruin
That in their worse dreams never imagined
Could be this terrible destruction.

"Silence, here, it never was
Nor was peace to be found
In this place accursed by all
Where endlessly was heard the sounds

"Of men dying, bleeding in agony
As the gun thundered incessantly
And their victims' screams rent the air,
A hellish combination frightening.

"Now, there is no noise
That is akin to the terror raged then
As they fought and died
To set free captive nations.

"Here, the sun shines warmly
And the poppies dance in the breeze
As no sound disturbs the sacred silence
Save the birds up in the trees.

"If you look out, you will see
There, on the plain where so many died,
Which is now grown over with grass
Thousands of white crosses lie;

"The only thing remaining
As a reminder of what happened here
Where men fought and died
In endless agony of fear.

"Yet if one is very still,
One can hear them crying out;
In the silence of their deaths,
One might still hear them shout:

"'Have we died unsung, unhonoured?
Our graves here lie unnumbered.
Did we give our all, our lives even,
For a fruitless war fought in vain?'

"Though wars may come again,
And it is certain they will,
No, they did not die in vain.
We shall always remember this sacred hill

"That marks their final resting place,
A peaceful cemetery
Instead of a war-torn plain.
That all will remember eternally."

She is the silence before a storm
A flickering flame in the cold
The flower in the wild

She is the message never sent
a book never touched
A story left untold

She is the dark side of the moon
A dream that never came alive
A diamond in the rough

She is something only
A few can understand

Christ took a spear to the breast
You can take one too remember that
When they crucify you.
We walk upon this land
He walk on water and turned it to wine  
Yet we know not what what we do
Remember that when they crucify you.

And the sea parts,
And the clouds make way,
And the land trembles,
And the thunder roars loud
As to the lightning clashes
Its the most horrific story that we've heard to date.

His death, painted on a child's face.
Anointed like David and those before him
And those restless eyes,
Who tears have baptized them
My fathers watching over me.

And we the people hack each other down,
As we have done to our brother Abel
Have we not tired of the mark of Cain
have we forgotten we were brothers
Have we forgotten we breathe and bleed the same
I still hear the horrid hellish sounds

Voices that spread love and peace fall on deaf ears
Till innocent blood has spilled too much
Shall we heed or glare till it happens near
How much more should we slaughter

Weathered faces left on walls,
portraits hung in empty halls,
nameless strangers that saw
with eyes that watched the world.

hear the cold whisper faint yet so clear
from the shadows who wish to spark the light
hear them whisper a cry from the ruins that remain
from those in darkest despair and left forgotten
they remember well and we shall hear too
the voices that still whispers freedom
hear the resounding and never ending call
hear it rally men and women of all ages
it is calling you to rise up from the ashes
for the voices that still whispers freedom
history calls your name to give what needs be

shall you shout like thunder and strike like lightning?
shall you join the spark the waits in the dark to be set a flame?
shall you join when the time is right with courage and faith?
what is your answer?

hear the voices from the underground...
that whisper through the ruins of man... freedom

Dear good sir,

I have the honor to address
And cite my grievance and stress
I am very slow to anger
Yet I demand your answer
Careful how you proceed
At times I am Intemperate indeed  
Slandering my name with disrespect
Apologize I shall accept with no reject
Or prepare for both of us will bleed
I have not been so cowardly or shy
On how I act in the public eye
In the field, face-to-face by dawn
Choose good sir fist, swords or guns drawn

your humble colleague,
M. Mendiola

Tell me how mad men sleep and dream,
Yet with tired eyes and trembling scream.