I reach for the stars
But they seem so far

For Four years I knew I was totally into girls
For three year my mom read the bible to me
For two years I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers
For one year it was like nothing happened

That was four years of depression
Three years of hiding
Two years of heartbreak
One year of not feeling any thing

It was four years of depression
Three years of self hatred
Two years of anxiety
And One year of mental abuse from my cousin

Now I hate the girl in the mirror
I hate her thighs with battle scars
I hate her long hair that's always in the way
I hate her hands for it makes people think she got burned a little but is just a birthmark

But oh how i love her eyes
The beautiful brown orbs
That sometimes seems red

There is a box i keep hidden under my bed
A box full of letters to the people I miss when I shouldn't
Every time I'm angry or sad I write a new one
It always makes me feel better
But the ones at the bottom of the box aren't from me
There to me
There the ones I couldn't burn for some reason
So shove them in a box to help me forget
Forget about why I'm so broken
And who Broke me

Please go the **** away
I'm not ready to listen to the yelling and fighting this year
I don't want to go and pretend to like my ******* ******* cusion
I'm not ready to hear about all the ******* that happens at her school
So please go by quick

- The girl whose family you ruined

Someone help please take my hands off of around my neck
And help me breath
Because my vision is blurry
And it seems I've lost my way
The girl in the mirror might look like me
But she isn't so don't believe her when she says "I'm fine"
Her goofy smile is gone
And she doesn't eat cookies sitting upside down
The flame in her eyes are gone and has been replaced with an ocean
No she doesn't slit her wrist
but sometimes she wonders why she stopped
and then she remembers it's because she got caught
she doesn't talk much so people don't hear her scream S.O.S

One day when I'm older I'll make myself a garden
A garden only i know of
A secret place where I don't have to worry about a thing
I'll grow all sorts of things like lemongrass and Lillys
It'll be a place where animals will go to rest
And I hope that one day I'll find someone special enough to share it with