Do I want to die
or just sit and cry
it's so familiar
tears running down my cheek
is it worth getting out of bed
to hear the birds cheep
Why am I here
What purpose do I serve
I'd **** myself
But I don't have the nerve

Me me me
I want it now
I need it now
Me me me, it's all about me
I need the rush,  I crave the high
I want it when I want it, or I think I'll die
When I finally get it,  It's never enough
I need to gorge again, I need more stuff
The rush lasts for an instant, then I need more
The fix never comes quick enough, always looking to score
Me me me, I  just want it now!
The next high is coming, some way, some how....

Today is the day
To make a new start
The time is now
I listen to my heart
I will take care of me
Love Thyself
I can't expect it from anyone else
I look in the mirror
Surprised by what I see
Someone to take care of
That someone is me

A new year coming
I feel my life humming
To a brand new song
I hope I'm not wrong
I'm searching for the magic rainbow
It’s been so long since I've taken part in the show
I'm ready to live
Happily this year
Full of life
Full of cheer
It's gonna be grand
It's gonna be great
It's about time
To look at what I have, and appreciate
Happy New Year!

I lost my friend
But cannot cry
Even as I said goodbye
I loved him so much
So why not a tear
Could it be denial?
Could it be fear?
I still see his face, his ghost everywhere
The sound of him prancing, rings crystal clear
When will I feel it?
Will I ever cry?
I don't want to believe
You had to die

I give up on love
It’s not meant to be
It surely isn’t meant for me
As I get older
I’m no longer in the game
I don’t want to play
I just want to stay sane
Love is for youth
The young and the free
I missed my time
It’s not meant for me

He walked into the room
My heart started racing
Why is he here with her
I can't stop myself from pacing
She looks beautiful, and happy too
I want to run but my feet feel glued
I struggle to move
As they come closer to me
I thought I was over him
I thought I was free
I run to the door, out to the street
Hail down a cab, collapse in the seat
I cried and cried all the way home
He's with her, I'm still alone

It was a crisp fall morning
A full moon lit up the earth, the morning dew glistening brightly as the new day began
The sun started to peak out
Not a cloud in sight, just the blue haze covering the sky like a watercolor canvas
I sit by the window, hot tea in my hand, taking in the beauty around me....
Then the dream ended...
The nurse walked into the room
ready to take vitals, yet again...
I was brought back to the reality of my life, as I sit lifelessly in the wheelchair
Never shall I walk the beautiful earth again, the earth I took for granted for so many years
How I long for my body back, to stand, walk, run, love...  
I had it all, but didn't know it...
*In one second my life changed forever
One horrible night
Nothing will ever be the same
because of that one horrible night.

I woke up
Where was I?
I couldn't move
My mind was foggy
Vision blurry
I look to my right and I see her
An old woman wearing a worried face
Who is she?
What is she doing here?
What am I doing here?
My vision starts to clear
I see white walls
Tubes and wires protruding from my body
IV's surround me
I cannot move, constricted by all this life support
A man stands above me, looking stern, with a grin of disgust
"You are lucky to be alive, you should be dead."
I don't remember
I don't want to know
Dear God, not again!!!!
I need to get out of here
I need another drink
*Just one more....

The end of anything
is bittersweet
Relationships, vacations, death
Good or bad
When it's over
It takes a piece of our heart we will never get back
Live for today
With all your heart
Today is all we have
And tomorrow, it too, will be gone
Only for today
I choose to put the past aside
And truly live with all my heart

I can't keep it up
This smile on my face
It's making me sick
It's making me ache
How long do I have to pretend
Living this secret so long, I want it to end
I'm not ok, without you
What the Hell am I supposed to do
I don't want to wake up
And end the dream of you and me
Although I know, it will never be
You don't even see me
Or know I'm alive
What would get your attention
Can't you see the love in my eyes?
I go back to sleep, just to see your face
Will you notice me missing if I never awake?
I guess we will see, what will be, will be
*Goodnight my love...

Maybe I've been looking in
all the wrong places
when you were there all along
How didn't I see
that you could be the one for me
you're always helpful and always care
you are the one that's always there
how did I miss it
How didn't I see
that you could be the one for me
friends we've been for a very long time
kissing and hugging, my lover part-time
I may not see fireworks in the sky
But you make me laugh until I cry
You say your not fun, but funny you are
all through the day you're my shining star
we are as different as two can be
but deep in my heart, I think you love me
I'm not sure just what to do
If I open my eyes, I might love you too

Why me
Why not?
Who says I deserve another shot
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve made amends
Will this nightmare ever end?
Why me
Why not?
I’ve put so many people through a hell of a lot
I’ve lied, I’ve deceived
I’ve stole, I’ve displeased
Hurt the ones I love
Over and over again
How do I expect trust?
I have not one friend
Why me
Why not?
Should I just give up?
Go back to the way I was
I can’t be hurt when I don’t care
They can’t take me down, if I’m already there
Pass the needle

The tree was decorated
so shinny and full
lights sparkled brightly
it was quite beautiful
Pine scent aroma filled the air
no one seemed to have a care
It was Christmas night
The children were tucked in tight
milk and cookies by the fire
the radio played songs sung by a choir
everything was peaceful
in my tiny home
even the dog smiled, nibbling his bone

Are you ready for me
Can you handle what you see
Don't you want to play all day
We can go all the way
Do you have the nerve
Do you have what it takes
Don't be scared
You don't have to shake
I'll be as gentle as I can be
Come be my lover
Play with me