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GailForceWinds Jan 2015
She sits on the steps
Holding tightly to the cell phone
Where is he now, she feels all alone
It's dark and it's late
Only one street light
He said he would come
This doesn't feel right
She looks around the empty street
Licking her lip gloss, it tastes so sweet
The cool summer breeze
Keeps blowing her hair
She sits in stillness
Why doesn't he care?
Hours gone by
The sun starting to rise
She feels the tears
Swelling up in her eyes
She goes up to her room
And lies in her bed
Wishing she could turn off the voices in her head
Just another romance gone bad
She feels nothing this time
Not a bit sad
Closes her eyes
And falls finally to sleep
Only then, she allows herself to weep
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Soaring through the sky
Up high in the clouds
How I love to fly
I feel so **** proud

I can fly upside down
One eye shut
I can swoop down
Pluck that buttercup

It’s so great to be free
It’s so great to be me

I fly all around
Not a care in the world
Fly through the air, annoy the poor squirrels

When it’s time to eat
I go to the special tree
It’s filled with seeds
All different kinds, just for me

How lucky I am
As I rest in my nest
Life is so free
It’s great to be me
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
Every day is a blessing
It is not guaranteed
Enjoy every minute
Embrace every breeze

Give thanks for what you have
Don’t complain over what you do not
It can all be taken in a moment
Appreciate what you’ve got
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I’m the tire
With the slow leak

I’m the balloon
With the pinhole

I’m the engine
Without gas

I’m the heart
Without a beat

I’m the phone
That never rings

I’m the voice
That never sings

I’m the bird
That never flies

I’m the angel
With no wings
*
Who am I?
A Broken Soul


GailForceWinds Jan 2015
My eyes are open
But I cannot see
All the abuse you’ve been doing to me

You say you’re sorry, and I say ok
Even though I know it shouldn’t be this way
What kind of power do you hold over me
That I cannot run, I cannot flee

You tell me you own me
And this I believe
I think you would **** me
If I tried to leave

They tell me there are shelters
For women like me
Somehow you’d find it
I’ll never be free

You tell me you love me
It won’t happen again
Until later that night
This will never end

You buy me flowers
The very next day
What can I do, what can I say
I say a quick thank you and go to my room
Knowing what’s coming
I’m filled with dark gloom

I hear the footsteps coming down the hall
I try to hide, but trip and fall
You come in the room, roaring mad
I can feel that this time is going to be real bad

You come towards me
Fists ready to go
I can’t go through this again
This much I know

I grab the lamp next to the bed
Smash it violently over your head

You fall to the floor
Blood everywhere
I feel calm, not at all scared

I pick up the phone
Call 911
And think to myself
What the hell have I done!
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
She sat in her room
Crunched up in her bed
Pulling the covers up over her head
Mom was out
Dad wasn't far
She sat and listened for his car
The sitter downstairs didn't have a clue
She was scared again
But what could she do?
No one would believe her
That’s what she felt to be true
She’d be quiet and not cry
God only knew what he'd do
She heard the car park
The door open and close
She was all alone now
No one around
She heard the footsteps
Coming up the stairs
She went deeper under the covers
Hoping to be spared
Then he came into her room
Reeking of *****
She knew what was next
As she pretended to snooze
He reached under the blankets
And grabbed her nightgown
She closed her eyes, and didn't make a sound
She went to the happy place in her head
Never noticing when he left her bed
She never came out
She stayed in that place
They thought she was crazy
She was so out of place
No one ever knew
The horror she'd been through
At ten she was done with it all
She was numb, she'd hit the wall
She picked up the knife
Didn’t feel a thing
Slipped into bliss
He couldn't touch her again
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
It's three am
My day has just begun
A million things run through my head
while the rest of the world is still in bed

I cant stop thinking
My mind is full
It's overflowing
Seeping through my skull

I wish I could turn it off
but I have no choice but to carry this cross

I write and I write
Until my fingers bleed
My pen runs dry
I have no reprieve

This is what my life has become
A poet, a writer?
Or a dreamer, dancing to the beat of a different drum...
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
A gun
Some pills
A knife
A bottle
Either will work
To put death in full throttle  

I’m all used up
No reason to live
I can’t feel anything
Nothing left to give

Take me away
To a place better than this
I’m ready for serenity
Sweet everlasting bliss
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
Alone

Why am I so sad
I just want to cry
What's wrong with my life
That I just want to die
I've done all the right things
I've made my amends
Yet still I'm alone
And sad once again
I miss your touch
Your voice on the phone
The way you used to make me moan
Don't you see I love you so
I should have never let you go
What the Hell can I do
To get the love I long , back from you
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I walked into the ballroom and you were there
With your chiseled face and dark shinny hair
I could hardly catch my breath
I wanted you then
My knees were weak
I couldn't speak
I ran to the bar
Admiring you from afar
I ordered my first *** and coke
The very first sip, I started to choke
I got your attention
As you came near the bar
I gulped down my drink
You shined like a star
Then I saw her
She put her arm through yours
I knew then you were taken
I felt chills and thorns
You both looked so happy
How could that be
I was certain you belonged to me
I ordered another drink and many more
he'll notice me now
As I stagger to the door
I went to my room
Continued to drink
Mini bar was packed
I didn't want to think
When I awoke
I wondered if it was real
I could still see your face
and your eyes of steel
I realized then you were not to be mine
I took out my stash and did a long line
poured another drink
I didn't want to think
Alone again
With my only friend...
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I look into your eyes
With my special smile
I can lie to your face
I make a **** good case
I didn’t do it,
I didn’t **** that man
Evidence you say?
Do I look like I care?
Don’t give me that policeman stare
I can swear under oath that it wasn’t me
Don’t try to threaten with the death penalty
I have no conscience
I can feel no pain
Try as you might to hurt me again
You can’t **** me
I’m already dead
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
The  tears poured out down my cheek
Washing away the secrets I did keep
I'm done hiding
I'm done lieing
It's time to come clean
Whatever that means
I've done so much damage in my short life
I've abused and cheated and thought it was alright
So I make my amends
And take what I get
My life's just beginning
This isn't the end
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
Why am I still obsessed with you?
I don't know what the hell to do
I think you're gone, out of my head
then you're back, your not my friend!
All I feel is pain and despair
Imagining you stroking her long silky hair
When I think of you, touching her
memories of us become a blur
I'm sure, so sure, I'm over you
Then why, oh why, am I still so blue
Get out of my head!
Get out of her bed!
I want to **** her, I want her to die
I'd love to watch you scream and cry
I wish her to hell, along with you
I think I'll **** her, yes, I do...
*...am I crazy?
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I woke up on the floor again
My bottle of Merlo my only friend
I didn’t even spill a drop
Take a swig fast, need to hit that spot

How did I get here?
I don’t mean the floor
How did I get stuck in this life I deplore?

I crawl back to my bed
I’m too weak to climb in
My body is shaking, I’m crawling out of my skin

I sit on the floor, a horrific site
Lifting the bottle with all my might
I can’t stand up
I can’t lie down
I can’t even make a single sound

Is this finally the end for me
I cannot think, I cannot see

I’m not sure if I am dead yet
But if I’m not today
Tomorrow’s a safe bet
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
She woke up to hot coffee
A beautiful morning it seemed
The sun was shining
The birds were playing
Little did she know
She would soon be praying
Her house phone starting ringing
The birds suddenly stopped singing
She heard the words
But they didn’t make sense
Not her son,
A car accident?
Words were all jumbled as she scratched on the pad
She had to go to him
No time to be sad
She raced down the highway
To the Emergency Room
Running past blurred faces
All full of gloom
She got there in time
He was conscious but still
Her little boy, she was ready to ****!
He’d only been driving for a few weeks
She got past that fear, but now only weeps
How could this happen
To the son she so loves
Here comes the doctor, putting on his gloves
She wanted to ask him, but didn’t want to know
She was hiding the terror, she just couldn’t show
He looked at her sadly
And said with a sigh,
It’s time to say your final goodbye
*She had to go
She had to see
The tragedy,
wrapped around the tree,

The night engulfed her fear
Her love lose did she dare,
The tree bled red tears

Beyond the brush
Shining through the dust
She picks up

A phone
A number
A message
Mom I'll be home soon
In collaboration with Firewalker
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
My fingers hurt from holding the pen
Here I go writing endlessly again
This is what my life has come to
Writing is the only thing I do
I’m not really living
Just writing about the past
And a hopeless future
Not such a blast
I’m not finding love
Sitting in this room
Full of hurt, full of gloom
I am out of ideas, no options left
I’ll continue to write
Until I’m dead
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
A new dawn, a new day...
The sun rises, like a ball of fire lighting up the sky
It looks like the start of a beautiful day
Then why the overwhelming fear taking over my mind and body
My hands shake, my mind is racing...
Is it my dreams haunting me, or anticipation of the day?
What happened last night, I have no memory...
I look around the room
It looks familiar
Where is my love?
I see an empty bottle on the dresser
I look around the room with urgency, vision still blurry
Then I see it
My love, calling me, ready to caress me and take away the fear
I take the first drink
My fear disappears, my body stops shakng
My love is holding me tight
I can't let go
A new dawn, a new day
My love will keep me safe, for at least another day
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I woke up this morning
To a brand new day
Feeling light as a feather
Joyful and gay

The sky is a portrait
Of red, blue and grey
Such a beautiful sight
On this beautiful day

The future looks bright
For the first time in a while
I actually woke up today with a smile

I pray that my life will start turning around
I’m picking myself up off the ground

Starting fresh, a new attitude
A new pep in my step, a new positive mood

Life is good, just for today…
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I woke up this morning
Too early again
When will I sleep through the night
When, oh when

I got my coffee
I’m on cup three
What the heck is wrong with me

It’s 2:45 am, and here I sit again
Looking at the walls
Wondering about it all

I just want to sleep
For a day or two straight
Forget about everything
That’s piled on my plate

I know it’s a dream
Just a fantasy
Just a couple hours longer
Would set me free
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
She walked down the stairs
Not a care in the world
All dressed up
Hair in curls
She waited patiently for him to arrive
It was prom night
But she felt like a bride
The clock kept moving
He still didn't show
Her dress was wrinkled
She was losing her glow
She was angry now
This just couldn't be
How dare he do this to me!
Then outside she heard the sounds
Police and ambulance scrambling around
She saw the car
Two houses away
It was his car
Smashed in the tree
This can't be happening
Not tonight
Not to me
She ran to the scene
Police held her back
They were waiting for the chopper
To take him away
No telling if he'd make it to another day
She stood in shock
such a tragedy
And realizd for the first time
It's not about me*
A night to remember

GailForceWinds Nov 2014
It was a warm November day
The fog hung thick over the pond, which was placed beautifully in the center of the concrete surrounding the four story building
She looked out the window of the third floor
Nothing unusual
Everything normal, in its place
She glared out the window wondering what the day would bring...
This would be no ordinary day...
Her body was present but her mind was distracted
She sat at her desk, alone, waiting
Others should be coming soon
She opened her desk drawer, and there it was
Loaded, ready to go...  
Would this be the day?
Her mind was confused, nothing made sense..
Why was she here?
She could only feel fear
Then calm breathed over her...  
All fear was gone
She lifted the gun to her head
With a grin on her face
She knew it was time to leave this place
*This would be no ordinary day...
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I’m no angel
I’m surely no saint
If you knew the things I’ve done
You’d probably faint
I’m not the same person
I was a year ago
By the grace of God
I continued to grow
I now have a conscience
I sometimes do wrong
But I try to make it right
Before I fall sleep at night
My future is uncertain
So is every day
But I believe if I continue to pray
I have a chance at a happy tomorrow
My life no longer has to be filled with sorrow
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
He told me he loved me so many times before
Yet I’m always left with tears staining the floor

What do I believe, what can I trust
How many more chances before my heart busts

The knife has hit many times before
Blood dripping from the back of the door

The door you slammed, right in my face
I cannot continue this cat and mouse chase

Every time you left
You took a piece of my heart
Do I take a chance again, or make a new start?
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Here I go again
Another Monday
She's not my friend
Another day
Another week
Into the future I'd like to peak
What good would it do, it's always the same
Depression and confusion take over my brain
I go through the motions
A smile on my face
It's only a game
It leaves such distaste
But I do it again and again
Waiting for the next day
Waiting for the pain to end
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I look to the universe
For answers to life
But I get no answers
It cuts like a knife

Do I really want to know
What's going to happen to me?
I don't think knowing will set me free

I can't control my destiny
But my happiness is up to me
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I don’t know where I’m going
I barely know where I am
I am just praying
That someone has a plan
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I write and I write
Until my pen has run dry
My hands are cramped
I'm too tired to cry
I don't care if I'm judged
Writing is my only love
Giving birth every day
For me it is the only way
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
The greatest love
Is that of my Tommy
He loves me unconditionally
And still calls me mommy

The terrible twos were not so bad
Neither were threes, fours and fives
He was my baby then
He’ll be my baby forever

At seventeen, I look into his eyes
I see such wonder and surprise
I love my son and he loves me
How blessed can one mom be?
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I saw a smile, a very slight grin
something was different
there was a spark in her eye
that wasn't there yesterday
why this change?
what is different about today?
There is no sun in the sky
Gray clouds linger long after the rain
The sky is a blanket of darkenss
The air is cold, damp, biting
Yet the smile is taking over her face, getting larger than before
She sees the rainbow, amidst the morning sky
Is it real.. does it matter..
*Her smile becomes brighter
It won't go away
Serenity hugs her
at least for today
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I woke up at the airport
Sitting at the gate
How did I get in the wheelchair?
How long do I wait?
Where am I going?
My head pounds as I try to think
Nothing is clear, when did I blink
I look up at the gate, A13
The destination is blurry, my face turning green
The knot in my stomach tells me where I’ll soon be
Rehab time again
So why did I leave?
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
I long to sleep...
when I sleep I dream.
but is it a dream...
what is reality?
dreams may feel real
it is sometimes a relief to awake, and sometimes not...  
But I question... are we really awake?  
Or are our dreams the reality.....
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Here I am
Awake again
This time it’s only 1 am
What do I do?
Everyone is sleeping
Or just getting home
I’m wide awake
So I’m writing this poem
**Goodnight
Just a goof  :)
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
How did I get here
I have no idea
I'm shaking terribly
There's ringing in my ears
I lie in this strange bed
Nothing else in the room
Walls are blank white
I'm filling up with gloom
Who got me to this place
I want to know now!
Did I take a plane?
I must have, but how?
Here comes a nurse
Maybe she'll know why I'm here
Do I dare ask her, I'm still full of fear
I'm back in rehab she tells me
In a far away state
I've been here two days she said
As she hands me a plate
I start to cry
I start to scream
This has to be a really bad dream
I'm in rehab again
Miles from home
Once again
All alone
When will I get it
I'm so full of fright
I give up this time
I'm ending this fight
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
When did a mouse become a device?
When did we forget how to change a TV channel without a remote?
When did humanity start moving at such a fast pace
That it seems as if everyone is running a race

I long for the days of playing outside
Riding bikes and pretending to hide
We sat on the front porch
And waited for our friends
We thought those nights would never end

Now we don’t talk
We either text or email
Everyone is inside on their phones, looking very sad and pale

When did we lose our souls, when did we say goodbye
To life as we knew it, I just want to cry
It’ll never be the same
It’s such a **** shame
I’m getting tired of playing this game
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
What a horrible mistake, the choice that I made
I know it now, but didn’t on that day
I let you go, not once but twice
I took the bait and rolled the dice

I thought it was him
How wrong could I be?
All I can think of now is you and me

He told me he loved me
We’d be as one
Memories of our past
Kept me holding on

I made the choice
It was him
Now my future looks nothing but grim

You’re now with her
Two hearts as one
Engaged to be married
Where do I run?

Here I stand questioning life
Questioning choices I’ve made
Could I have been your wife?

I’m getting to old to fall in love again
I don’t believe I can ever find Zen

So here I sit
Questioning my entire life
My head is filled with nothing but strife

Where do I go from here?
I’m done holding on
I’m all alone, and he is long gone

Love is too painful
I’m full of regret
You’ll always be in my heart
I wish we never met
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
Her mind was cluttered
with thoughts of him
she replayed the tape
again and again
What did she do this time
words she can't take back
she knows he is gone
she made him attack
"I know it's my fault", she chants over again
I should have shut up
this can't be the end!
She looks towards the mirror
The bruises are fresh
"I know I deserved them" she says under her breath
Her eyes were so swollen, she could hardly see
Then the door opened,
Yes it was he!
Roses in hand
A smile, a soft kiss...
She smiles back
the bruises fade away
Her love is back, at least for today...
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I look to the sky
what a beautiful blue
red and pink brushed into the breathtaking hue
the clouds are majestic
they remind me of you
I wish I could fly
way up to the sky
where there is no pain
no need for this cane
It's time to go
I've lived enough
had enough of this earthly stuff
It means nothing to me
without you
come take me my darling
into the beautiful blue
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
The sun shines through the slats in my blinds
Bright and beautiful, with a melody from my wind chimes

Warmth spreading throughout the room
Like a blanket of serenity, no place for gloom

How I love the sun
Even on the coldest of days
A blanket of fluffy clouds
Creating a spectacular haze

These are the days to cherish and savor
For the storms will come, sharp as a razor

I wait for the rainbow, it surely will appear
Along with the sun, and a sky so clear

I close my eyes and all I can see
Is a beautiful day in front of me
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
My heart is numb...
   because of you
My soul is numb...
   because of you
I'm unable to laugh...
   because of you
I'm unable to smile...
   because of you
I can't feel emotion, happy or sad...
   because of you
But yet I reach for you...  a tiny white pill, sparkling brightly in my hand...  You promise me relief, and I believe you...
The bottle is full,
so I take one, then another
I cannot get enough of you...
I'm slipping into the gentle, safe place I've so longed for...
Floating above myself, coddled by the soft warm air swirling around my naked body...
The last breath leaves my lungs...
My eyes close, for the final time...
Am I alive?
Does it matter?
The pain is gone...
   *because of you
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
There was a time, I do believe
When life was easy, each day was a breeze

It must have been when I was born
Before this world got to me with its prickly thorns

How I wish I could go back in time
Listening to my mother singing nursery rhymes

Every need was cared for, no need for fear
Hardly a reason to shed a tear

No worry of money, a job or a home
As soon as I could crawl, I was free to roam

Now I’m a grownup, at least that’s what I’m told
I look in the mirror and am amazed I got old

I want to be pure again, free from past sin
I would do anything to start over again
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I woke up this morning
To a new day
Fresh and clean
Can I keep it that way?
I long to be happy
Enjoy life, be carefree
It just never seems to work out for me
But today is a new day
A new chapter to start
Nothing to hold me back now
I can rock it off the charts
I hit my knees
Continue to pray
Please Dear God
Let today be the day
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
Why fall in love
Disappointment again
I thought you were my lover
My soul mate, best friend

Betrayed so many times, it’s no surprise
Why didn’t I see the deception in your eyes

Are my expectations too high
Should I learn to accept
Take less than I deserve
None of my needs being met

I do have a choice
I can just walk away
Feeling lonely again
Like every other day

I think I’ll run….
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
It's 3am, wide awake, can't sleep
All through the house, I can't hear a peep
Cars going by
People just coming home
Here I lie in bed, all alone
Slept to much
Once again
I'm lost and lonely
I miss my lover, my friend
They say I'm depressed
I don't know why
All I do is sleep and cry
I pull the covers over my head
Perhaps I'd be better off dead
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Everywhere I go, there are couples all around
Everyone paired up, I can feel the sound
Of love in the air
Love everywhere
Are they better than me?
How can that be?
They tell me I’m pretty
They tell me I’m great
So why do I feel so much hate
Toward all those couples
Smack the smiles off their face
I give up on the human race
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
I’m full of anger
Full of despair
If you see me coming
Humans, beware
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I’m not myself, I’m all out of sorts
I could sure use a bottle, or one good snort

I’m edgy and squirmy
Not a feeling I like
Don’t know how to shake it
I should go fly a kite

I really think I’ve lost my mind
Have you seen it?
It’s one of a kind

I’m just overtired
That’s it, I’m sure
I’ll feel better tomorrow
Reach down to my core

Good night my friends
This isn’t the end
At least that’s my hope
I’m not that crazy, I’m just a big dope
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
She sat alone in her big red chair
This world was more than she could bear

She sat so still as if paralyzed
You could see the sorrow in her eyes
She did not want to move
Afraid if she did she would fall apart
Limb by limb down to her broken heart

So she continued to sit in her big red chair
Wondering how life could be so unfair

Will she ever move again
Or has she finally reached her end
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
This is the year, the big year of change
Gonna turn it upside down, shoot way out of range
Going for the stars
why not shoot high?
I feel my wings, I'm ready to fly
Nothing can stop me
Just let them try
I'm done with negativity
I'm too tired to cry
I'm going all the way
wherever that is
Bring on the test, I'm done with the quiz
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Blackness covered the sky.  Only a small shimmer of light from the moon fell upon the city.  Martha put the key to her apartment in the door and turned it quickly and purposely.  She got an eerie feeling as soon as she walked inside.  She felt something was terribly wrong.

Martha turned on the light and looked around.  Well, everything looked ok, things were where she left them.  She was a neat freak, and if one thing was out of place, she would know it immediately!  

Was she just being paranoid again?  Living alone has been a challenge for her since her boyfriend of fifteen years left a few months ago.  She was not used to being alone.  She went from her family’s home, to college with three roommates, then on to living with Billy the last twelve years.

She remembers the day he left like it was yesterday.  Three months ago she came home and he announced that he was leaving, for good.  He was in love with someone else.  “That *****” is all Martha thought, not blaming Billy for falling in love with another woman, it had to be “the *****’s” fault.  

She begged and pleaded on her knees for another chance.  Another chance for what?  She was the perfect partner.  Neat, clean, cooked, made love on a drop of a dime.  She kept herself in good shape, nice figure, pretty face and long brown hair.  So what did she do wrong?  She couldn’t understand, and he wouldn’t explain.  His bags were already packed and he was going.  She asked who the other woman was, but he refused to say, just wished her well with a pat on the back.  “Wish me well!  Go to Hell!” Martha screamed at the top of her lungs.  Billy, looking embarrassed and uneasy, grabbed his suitcase and headed for the door.  Martha was still screaming and crying when he walked out.  She collapsed into a pile of jagged rocks when he left.  She doesn’t remember how long she sat on the floor crying.  It seemed like days, even though it was only a couple of hours.

She finally pulled herself together and got off the floor.  He was gone.  She ran to the bathroom, his toothbrush was gone.  For some reason that made it feel so final.  The picture of the two of them at her sister’s wedding was still on the bedroom dresser.  That was from five years ago.  They looked so happy, so wonderful together.  How could this be happening!!!!

Well, she should be over it by now, but she’s not.  Constant reminders of Billy are found daily.  Just little things, like his coffee cup in the cabinet, the kitchen magnet they bought together on vacation…  They are all little pins in the voodoo doll, poking away at her heart.

As she looks around the room, she feels sad.  It’s so empty now.  She walked over to the closet, took her coat off, and turned to the kitchen.  That’s when she heard it.  A crashing sound came booming from the kitchen, like all the pots and pans had fallen.  She panicked for a moment, no time to think, what does she do?   Is someone in there?  

She starts back toward the locked door when she sees him come staggering out of the kitchen.  It was Billy.  He looked drunk and could hardly walk.  “What are you doing here?” Martha asked with a frightened voice.  Billy just swayed there, holding on to the wall, and then she saw it.  Blood on his hands, blood gushing from his chest.  “Oh My God” Martha said as she ran toward him, “are you ok?”  Billy just slid down to the floor, he could not answer.  She ran for her phone to dial 911, but just then he came around a bit and stopped her.  “NO, don’t call anyone!” Billy said “I can handle this.”  But Martha didn’t seem to believe it seeing the blood still flowing on the carpet. “What should I do then?  How bad are you hurt?  What happened?”  The questions kept flying from her mouth, without her knowledge of what she was saying.  “Get me some towels,” Billy faintly said as he held the wound on his chest to keep the bleeding down.  Was it a knife wound, bullet wound?  She had to know, but he was in no shape to talk.  She kept changing the towels for the next half hour, until the bleeding finally stopped.  Applied pressure worked, but now what?  She had to clean up the wound for infection and bandage it properly.  Billy still hasn’t said a word.  Blood in the kitchen and her rug now. How could she be thinking about that, although she was upset, **** Billy!  

She made sure he was conscious and left for the pharmacy.  She grabbed large gauze bandages, tape, alcohol, and cleaning solutions for her rug.  How did she get into this?  Oh yea, he was at her apartment, but how did he get in?  She didn’t have time to think of any of those things until now, as she was paying the cashier.  Lots of answers she needed, and needed soon.

Martha returned to the apartment and Billy was resting, eyes closed, but not asleep.  He grunted a few times, not knowing she was back.  Martha went to him and said, “Billy, we need to clean up this wound and bandage it properly.”  Martha was always so level headed, knowing just what needed to be done and how to do it.  Billy murmured a soft “ok,” before closing his eyes again.  This was not going to be easy!

Martha removed the towels that were starting to stick to him with the dried blood.  She knew she had to clean the area of his chest with alcohol.  She could hardly see the wound through all the blood.  This was not going to be fun.  

She took out her latex gloves to start with, she always used them to clean.  Then started to clean the wound with the alcohol.  “This is going to sting,” she said to Billy.  He didn’t even flinch.  The cut wasn’t that deep, and luckily not near any vital organs.  After cleaning up the wound, she got the gauze and tape out and wrapped him up in it.  He was barely awake by now, but at least not screaming.  Maybe he did have more than a few drinks!

Martha walked back to the kitchen.  Let him rest now, but she needed answers.  She looked at the blood splattered kitchen and wondered where to start.  Then it occurred to her, should she be scared?  She hasn’t had time to think anything through, only react.  What if he was in trouble and someone was after him.  Obviously this happened here, by the positioning of the blood speckles.  

Maybe she should leave the crime scene as is, if she has to call the police.  She needed to know what was going on!  She hadn’t seen Billy since the day he left, nor has she heard from him. Who knows what he got himself into.  Maybe the ***** ***** did it?  

She got out a new pair of gloves and started to clean the carpet at least.  That was blood he dragged in later, so not really part of the crime scene.  She had no tolerance for dirt, no less blood stains!  Ugh, hopefully it would come out.  All the while, she’s still running different scenarios through her head on what could have happened.
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
My head was fuzzy, pounding like a fireworks display
Body numb
Memory non-existent
Filled with fear...
How did I get here?

Slumped by a dumpster
The stench overwhelming
Blood drips from my body to the cold pavement
my clothes are splattered with red
Like a butcher's smock
Filled with fear...
How did I get here?

Sirens get louder and louder
They are getting closer
Do I need to hide?
I cannot move
I see the blue uniforms coming toward me
As much as I try, my memory fails me
What did I do this time?
*Filled with fear...
How did I get here?
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