I’m not happy
I’m extremely mad
I just lost the best thing I ever had

It amazes me
I really don’t know
How I could have ever let you go

I think it’s time to take my pill
You’re not coming back
Life’s lost its thrill

So where do I go from here?
I have no idea
I’m full of fear

I don’t want to go on
Without you by my side
I would do anything, swallow my pride

You’re not coming back
You’re not going to call
I ******* it all up
I’ll just sit here and bawl

Time for the party
Every piece is in place
I can sit and relax
No reason to race

I wait for my guests to arrive
Wondering who will be first
I sit in my recliner
Thinking the worse

No one was coming
The house has been empty for a very long time
I’m stuck here in another dimension, nothing is fine

I must be dead
Do they see my ghost?
Can I use another body for a host?

Why am I still here?
There are cobwebs abound
No other spirits
Have come around

What happened to me?
What made me die?
I don’t remember
But I want to cry

It must have been bad
For my soul not to rest
I’ll be waiting a long time
For that first guest

His eyes were empty
You could see straight through to his soul
There was nothing there
His insides were bare

What has happened
To take away all his passion

He doesn't care about having fun
Chores and work, then he's done

His 70 inch TV
Is his only reprieve

He doesn't know how to feel
He's been suppressing emotions for so many years

He's not sad or full of fear
He's just unable to shed a tear

His eyes show everything
Which is a ******* hole
From his heart right through to his empty soul

I feel so sorry for this man
He has no idea when the emptiness began

He says he's ok
But I don't believe this to be true
I loved this man
And hate to see him so blue

He doesn't know how to have fun
Yet funny he is
He makes me laugh
He is a ****

Maybe he needs time
Or he's too far gone
He has tv, laundry, and time to cut the lawn

He's not sad
It's really just me
It's time to let go and set him free

Don't just be with the one you think you can live with....
Be with the one you can't live without

Is it love or lust?
I have not a clue
Nothing makes sense, since I met you…
When I look at you
My knees become weak
When you brush up against me
My heart skips a beat
When I touch you
A fire burns deep inside
I'm under your spell,
I have nowhere to hide
My body becomes moist
When you hold me tight
I can hardly breathe
When you stay the night
I cannot speak, I can only stutter
The thought of you, turns me to butter...
Is it love or lust?*
I really don't know
Just keep holding me close, don't let me go

Is it love or is it lust
What is to become of us
This is not how I expected my life to be
But here we are, you and me
It's not the way things were before
We've both had our struggles, but never shut the door
It's all too familiar, yet totally strange
We've both gone through such immense change
We felt like one a few years ago
Now our souls don't seem to mold
Together in presence, but not in spirit
It's time we talk, even though you don't want to hear it
It easier for you to keep things the same
But I am too tired and restless to play this game
I don't think it's love
I don't think it's lust
I just think the "us" has turned to dust

Is anyone real?
Or is it all a game
In this online dating world
Everyone’s the same

They tell you what you want to hear
They’re going to make you theirs
Then they switch to ****** ****
To show how much they care?

We haven’t even met
Yes I’m a fun and not a *****
By now you’re just being rude

No I don’t want to see your package
But you text the picture anyway
Like that really is going to make my day?

I’m tired of being played the fool
I’m pretty smart, and not from school

I know when I’m being played
So don’t bother with me
Find another sucker
Please let me be

I don't listen to anyone
When they tell me I'm great
I've always felt this way
Full of self hate
I'm destroying myself
More every day
Where's my self worth
It doesn't matter what they say
I still see the fat girl
Glasses, braces and all
I can hear the laughs
As I walk down the hall
Will I ever be free
Of this little girl inside of me

My heart yearns for your love
but it's not meant to be
it's all for her, not for me
what does she have
to get all your love
you both look so happy, where are the doves
I wish you both happiness
then smile one last time
as I jump of the bridge, wishing you were mine

The rain was relentless
Falling angrily to the earth
The sky just opened suddenly
And started giving birth

I was in the air
miles high
Couldn't see out the window
I wanted to cry

Turbulence, they said
It will be fine, they said
How I wish I had stayed in bed

It felt like I was on a bumpy old bus
I know I'm making too much of a fuss

we will surely get there safely
This I have to believe
The plane was shaking
But there was no way to leave

I sat and I prayed
Until we finally touched down
I saw the beautiful rainbow
majestic and proud....

There was no need to worry
We made it through the storm
To a beautiful day, a lovely new dawn

me me me
it's all about me
hehehe
can't you see
get me this
get me that
better put on your waiters hat
hehehe
cause it's all for me
can't you see, me me me
once you do it will set you free
hehehe
it's all about me
where would you be
without me?

I don't wish for much this year
All I need is you my dear
I have food on the table, a roof over my head
Wonderful friends, a warm cozy bed
I won’t feel complete
Without you in my life
I don’t know who you are
But I dream to be your wife
I’m a hopeless romantic
I believe in till death do us part
Please my darling, don’t break my heart
I’ve been waiting for you, all of my life
Times I wanted to end it, but I didn’t pick up the knife
I believe in miracles
And that miracles come true
This is the year, the miracle will be you

I'm tired
I'm lonely
I'm hungry to
What's a girl supposed to do

I cannot sleep
I cannot eat
Since you left
I feel only defeat

I need to climb out of this slump
It's more than just a small speed bump

I don't know where to go from here
I can't even shed a single tear

I need to get up
And simply move
But nothing feels right
I'm so out of my groove

I guess ill just sit here
Bottle in my hand
Holding out my old tin can

The sky was angry
The wind howled loudly
The grey clouds swirled round and round
What would come next
No one knew what She would do

Mother Nature was strong and mad
Lots of tears fell, she was feeling sad

Chunks of ice came out of the sky
You could actually see the hurt in her eyes

She threw fire violently to the ground
With a brilliant light show and a load crashing sound

This went on for quite some time
Until the night ended and the sun came out to shine

A rainbow appeared
There was sunshine in sight
The storm was over
She made the new day bright

I’m done looking for Mr. Right
He doesn’t exist
I’m tired of this fight

So I’ll go on my merry way
I’m the master of my day

No one to report to
No one to pretend I care
It’s all about me
It doesn’t have to be fair

So I’ll stay alone
With me, myself and I
I won’t shed a tear
I’ll never again have to cry

The bottle of pills are calling my name
That bottle of wine is doing the same
What's my preference?
Does it really matter?
Looking for that buzz in any form
Mix it up
Wash the pills down
Don't stop until I hit the ground

My only friends have lied to me
I thought I could stop, but how can this be
I can't put down the drink or drug
It's now become my only love

My only love is killing me
Anyone with eyes can see
What the hell do they do with me

Put me away
Tie me down
Unless I want this freedom
It won't be found

My best friend
I can always count on you
To be there for me
Night or day

You smell so good
Just a hint of vanilla
I'll never need another fella

You are always around
Never is a day you can't be found

I can count on you
To get me out of bed
When I'm tired or down
You fix the demons in my head

Your brown and beautiful
So sweet and warm
With you by my side
I can weather any storm

I pick up my cup, and drink you down
You are by far my best friend in this town

"Another latte please?"

You know you need to change
But how do you start?
It has to come straight from the heart
No one can tell you what to do
It has to come from within you
Sometimes it takes life or death
When it’s hard to even take a breath
The pain was so great
I was confused
I just knew there was something I had to do
I picked up the phone
And my journey began
I called out for help, when I could have ran
Thank God for that day
That call saved my life
I picked up the phone, instead of the knife
We all have a choice
To climb out of the hole or stay in the pain
Pick up the phone, you have everything to gain

I wonder and wonder
What my purpose is here
I need to rid myself of ego
Let me make that perfectly clear

I work at my job, endlessly
Results are few, they seem useless to me

I want to do something different
Something that I love
I want to run away
Take flight like a dove

Do something I enjoy
And still pay the bills
It would be thrilling, it gives me the chills

Have I ever been happy, in my career?
I can’t seem to remember
The past isn’t clear

I used to have passion
Now I have none
I wonder if I’m the only one

Too young to retire
Too broke to quit
So I head to the office
With no laughter, no wit

My cat is crazy
I call him Nutsy too
Without him though
I wouldn't know what to do

He's loving and cuddly
Then he'll take off your arm
I guess that's just part of his charm

His brother Fritz puts up with a lot
He's the elder, and manners he's got

My two little guys light up my life
Couldn't imagine life without them
Not even one night

I can choose to be happy
I can choose to be sad
I can choose to be angry
I can choose to be glad

It’s all up to me
How I choose to feel
I’m in the driver’s seat holding the wheel
I have the choice to turn left or turn right
I can make this day black
Or make it shine bright

It’s all up to me
It has always been
It’s time to start living with gratitude again

I felt bad today
Enough to almost throw my life away

In one split second the decision was made
To wait it out, just one more day

I wait for these feelings to go away
I forgot how to be happy, forgot how to play

Today I woke up
Happy with my choice
Glad I didn't listen to my inner voice

I thank the Lord i made it one more day
I know now I can do this,  I'll be ok

I wake up early, day after day
Get my coffee, feed the cats
My head's so full of those horrible bats
This sinking feelling just won't go away
It's all up to me
To make that choice
It doesn't have to be this way
I just want to be happy
For just one day

They showed me your picture at twelve weeks old
I wasn’t sure about this “parent” thing, but I was instantly sold

You grew inside me for seven long months
It made me happy, it made me complete
I could feel your body growing, little kicks from your feet

Now I’m in this bed, just waiting for you
I know it’s early but they say they know what to do

I feel the pain of you struggling to get out
I can understand what that’s all about

The doctor came in and said it is time
I’m ready to meet you, I’m ready to shine

They see your head and tell me to push
I do what I’m told, I can’t wait to see your little ****

It seemed like days, I was ready to pass out
And then by some miracle, you came out

I heard the cry, then they whisked you away
To clean you up, that’s what they did say

I waited and waited for them to bring you to me
I was getting restless, but the doctor I did not see

They said they tried everything
There was nothing they could do
Apparently you started turning blue

I just wanted to hold you
Just for one time
They put your body in my arms
Your hands seemed the size of a dime

I sat and rocked you
Until they took you away
I’ll never forget that horrible day

I’ll always love you
My angel up above
Mommy is here
You are my dove

I want to be treated like a lady
NO, make that a Queen
I won’t settle
For anything in-between
I won’t be a doormat for anyone anymore
If that’s what you want, I’ll show you the door
I won’t be your bank or your room and board
You might as well just fall on your sword
I’m waiting for my knight
I know he’s out there
I’m done being used
It just isn’t fair
I will wait forever
I won’t compromise
I’ll know him when I see him
Just one look in his eyes

It's my life
I want to live
grasp every bit of happiness
Smell the roses
Slow my roll
Forget about the empty hole
In my heart
Live
Breath
See the beauty around me
Enjoy my own company
Life is good
Time too appreciate
And live
With a smile
Dry those eyes and get out there
There's no second chance
The seconds go by too quickly
To waste them being sad
Today I will rejoice, and be glad...

I don’t know where I am half the time
I lose myself in a rhyme
It’s easier than facing real life
Better than picking up that knife
So I sit and I write
About things that matter to me
Sometimes they’re true
Sometimes just mystery
Either way
The stories unfold
Little specs of gold
My sorry life
In rhyme is told

I feel my life is coming to a close
People I haven’t seen or heard from in years are reappearing
Reconnecting
Where did they come from?
Why did they come back into my life?
Does this mean my life is near over?
Full circle
Ghosts of my past
Good ghosts and bad ghosts
Parts of my life I would like to forget
Why, why now?
Is this it, is it time to say my goodbyes?

The flight was full
I held my boarding pass
I sat and waited two hours, feeling like an ***

Traveling alone again, what would people think?
I have no friends, or maybe I stink?

I really don't give a **** what they say
I'm going away, I'm going today

I get in my seat
Waiting for our take off
Sitting next to a man
With a terrible cough

I just want to sleep
But he won't shut up
Telling me his life story
I've heard enough!

I close my eyes
He continues to speak
He just won't stop
As I attempt to sleep

I wake up a few minutes before touchdown
The man is still talking
There was no one else around

He's been talking to me this entire time?
I guess I found a new friend
So I'm ending this rhyme

Should I give up on life?
What’s my reason to live?
I know in my heart I have so much to give

I have so much going for me
So I’ve been told
But all I feel is used up and old

Too many things against me
One, two, three
Addiction
No Car
Cannot drive for years
Who would want me, who could handle my tears

I’m doing my time
For my sins and my crime
But who can see through
To the woman inside

It doesn’t seem worth it
To wake up every day
But there is no way out
I’m doomed to stay

Responsibilities hang over me
Penance to pay
For mistakes in the past
Memories that will never fade away

I'm so tired of trying
Exhausted from crying
Is this all there is
What's my purpose in life
I don't know if the answer is held in this knife
I don't have a purpose
I'm a waste of space
Breathing in air
It doesn't feel fair
People look happy
That'll never be me
I pick up the knife
To set myself free

I'm coming down
Crashing hard
Need a fix fast
So this feeling won't last
The sweats already started
My hands starting to shake
Has this ritual become my fate?
I struggle to the car
Vision getting blurry
I shouldn't be driving, but I'm in such a hurry
I see the liquor store a few feet away
I stagger inside
Get enough for the day
A few shots to go
For the ride home
I don't want to share
I want to be alone
Alone with my lover
A bottle of wine
After a few chugs, I start feeling fine
What day is it? I have no idea nor do I care
I laugh to myself, I'm already impaired

The Sea is my serenity
The warm summer breeze is my reprieve
I long to hear the rolling waves
These are some of my favorite days

I know I can't stay here by the ocean so blue
I have to go home to a houseful of gloom

I will savor these moments
Forever in my head
It was good while it lasted
A least that's what they said

The beach is my special place
Where all my troubles disappear
From my toes to the depths of my heart
All the bad turns to dust in the air

I see the waves wash up on the sand
Gaze for miles without seeing land
It’s amazing the beauty and power of the sea
I watch and marvel as peace flows over me

I need to run
From the thoughts in my head
They start from the time
I get out of bed

They won’t leave me alone
Not for one moment
I can’t turn it off
The words are unspoken

So what do I do
With all this crap in my head swimming around
I just want to plant my feet on solid ground

I’ll take a pill, and then another
What the hell
I don’t want to suffer

Pills are kicking in
I’m relaxing now
Finally the thoughts stopped
I wonder how?

I love my room
Safe and snug
I love my bed
And bear skin rug

The only thing missing is you my love
Come to me my turtle dove

I want to hold you and kiss your neck
Make wild and crazy love to you on the adjoining deck

There's no reason to ever leave my room
Come my darling, join me in my tomb

I keep believing I will find my true love
That special soul that fits like a glove
I won't give up
Although things seem bleak
My true love, I still do seek
I'll continue believing till the day I die
I'm too tired to run, too tired to cry
Where or where is my true love
I look for signs, I saw a dove
I know my soul mate is waiting too
I'll keep looking my darling, until I find you

I'm making a list
I'm checking it twice
I know you've been naughty
But have you been nice?
They tell me you've been bad
But does that really mean "good"
It's just an opinion
You wouldn't change, even if you could
You are on my list
Which one, I'm not sure
I need to see your naughty some more
Bring it on!

I need to fly
I need to be free
I can’t be tamed
I’m the wild one, you’ll see

I love taking off
On a wing and a prayer
Responsibilities?
I really don’t care

I’ve been there, done that
So many times before
I’m so ready to just head for the door

So here I go again
Getting on the plane
If I keep moving, I won’t feel the pain