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GailForceWinds Apr 2015
I hate to admit it
But it’s plain to see
There is no future
For you and me

You dangled the carrot
And waited I did
For lost broken promises
When I should have ran and hid

Years have been wasted
Waiting for you
Now here I am
What do I do?

I hope you are happy
With your couch and TV
I’m starting over today
So please let me be
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
If you don't want to know,
then just don't ask
'cause I won't lie
and say I'm fine
while I sit and down a bottle of wine
I won't pretent
it's all ok
when all I do is run away
No, I'm not happy
Not joyous and free
I'm not at all where I want to be
Still looking for peace
so I continue to pray
for serenity, I hope it comes some day
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I look at the tree
it reminds me of you
it's tall and majestic
with a bronze golden hue

I bite from the apple
it reminds me of you
the forbidden fruit
I can't help but pursue

It's succulent juices
drip from my lips
dancing kisses on my chin
like tiny little whips

I look at the vulture
it reminds me of you
flying high and far
to the next thing that's new

Every breathing moment
reminds me of you
but you're gone...
so what should I do?

*....don't jump!
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I'm so sick of all the positive crap
Inspirational *******
You can do it
Be grateful
I want to scream "Stop!"
It's such a joy to be alive
A new day, a new opportunity
"Go to Hell!"
I've been there
Into the positive, inspirational hype
Pump myself up
To be let down again
One thing I'm positive about
Is that bad things happen
Every day
You can count on it
Don't preach to me
I'll never feel joyous and free
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Is today the day
I stop settling for less than I deserve
For hoping for things and people that were never meant to be
To be happy and joyous, with just me
I make excuses
And fantasize
When all I need to do
Is open my eyes
He doesn't love me
My job is a joke
I need to put down the ***** and the coke
I gotta stop running
I'm getting no where
My life is grey, I cannot see
I've gotten so far away from reality
I want it all
Be patient they say
I'll find my purpose
Somehow, some day
Please Dear God show me the way
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
I keep waking up
I don't understand why
I'm happy when I'm dreaming
The day makes me cry
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I want to feel passion
For love, life, career
Sometimes it seems impossible
But obtainable, so I hear

To do something I love
Is a dream of mine
I don't think in this pursuit, I'm one of a kind

When the passion is gone
For anything in life
It's hard to get up
When your heart's full of strife

I'll continue my journey
With hope in my heart
Looking for passion
I know it can't be far
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
You don’t have a clue
How much I think of you…
I dream of a time
When we could be together
I want to feel your touch, light as a feather
Hold you in my arms
Safe from this earth
I need you my darling
What’s my love worth?
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I know what I want and what I deserve
To cuddle, hold hands
that sweet goofy stuff
hugging and kissing
All that good mush
Am I crazy, expecting too much
A phone call on queue just to make sure I'm ok
not too much to ask, isn't that the right way
Never have to wonder if he loves me or not
misses me terribly when we are apart
He would never break my heart
I'm still looking for someone to play the part
*Dream on....
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I had it all
The great career, big house, new car
So what happened to me, I had come so far

I lie here on the cold hard cot
Wrapped in an old wool blanket, torn and shot

My home is this shelter
It's been for a while
I don't remember the last time I smiled

The sun is rising, another day in Hell
Listening for the ring of the bell
To wait on line in the cold for food
I'll eat what I'm given no matter how crude

I'll take the bread and be grateful today
At least I have a place to stay
As hopeless as this all seems
I still hold on to some of my dreams

The day that I get out of here
Travel the world
Drink the best beer

I don't know how
I don't know when
But I'm going to start over again
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
At the airport again
Running away
From what I don't know
I just know I can't stay
I have the soul of a drifter
I cannot stay still
Someone might see me
They're all out for the ****
**** my spirit
**** my soul
Running from it all is my only goal
Fly away
I'm out of the race
No one cares about me now
I'm just an anonymous face
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I’ll drink to this
I’ll drink to that
I’ll drink till I fall over, splat!
And when I wake up
I’ll drink again
The bottle is my only friend
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
It’s dark in my room
The sun has yet to rise
I’ve been awake for hours
Not to my surprise

I never seem to be able to sleep
Until the sun rises
Or my alarm starts to beep

So here I sit again, all alone
I can’t even call anyone on the phone

The rest of the world is sleeping
Everyone but me
So what will I do?
I’ll write endlessly
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
I'm falling
My lifeless body,  floating through the darkness
A never ending black hole
My bottle has no bottom
It seems it is always full. How can that be? I don't remember..
I can't breath, I'm grasping for air
I feel like I'm drowning...
My mind is hazy, I cannot see
Am I blind?  Am I crazy? Have I lost my mind?
Will I wake up from this nightmare...
I don't have the strength to awaken this time...
Finally peace, the bottle is empty
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
I’m too tired to be mad
I’m too angry to be sad

Where does that leave me?
Alone and confused
Nothing to live for, just a bottle of *****

If anger doesn’t **** me
Sadness surely will
Time to give up, grab that bottle of pills

I finally wake up in the drab familiar room
Not the first time here, I’ve returned to my doom

I can barely breathe, and I cannot move
All I can see is a tangled web of tubes

Keeping me alive
I wonder what for
Someone had found me
Face down on the floor

I’ll eventually get out of this place
Back to my life, it’s too much to face

It’s time I leave this empty shell
I need to get out of this endless hell

Next time I will get it right
I’m waiting to embrace that soothing bright light
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I want to kiss your lips so soft
I remember those nights, in your loft
I can still feel your touch, skin on skin
I can’t stop remembering when…
Our bodies would be tangled
Intertwined together
I can’t imagine
Anything better
I would do anything now
To have you back in my arms
Can I persuade you with my charm?
I want another chance, can we start over again?
I want much more, then to be your friend
*I love you
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
Endless possibilities
Are ahead of me today
It’s what I do with them that matters
I’ll make the most of them this day
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Everlasting love
Does such a thing exist
Behind all the darkness
And the smoke and the mist

I don’t know if I still believe
In true love being meant for me
For others, yes
For me I think no
I’m just waiting alone
Until it’s my time to go
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Do I expect too much from people?
Respect
Kindness
Understanding
No judgement
Love
Friendship
Am I asking too much?
Does anyone care about anything other than themselves?
Are we responsible for this creation?*
The "me" generation

GailForceWinds Dec 2014
The door was half open
When she reached her room
She was suddenly overcome with a feeling of doom

Should she go in, was someone there?
This fear was more than she could possibly bear

She ran down the stairs and out to the street
She was moving so fast, flying as if she had no feet

She felt like floating
Above the clouds
When she heard the explosion
It was excruciatingly loud

She fell to the ground
Listening for a comforting sound
Sirens rang from down the road
Getting frightenly closer to her home

She looked up at her house
It was engulfed in flames
It could have been her
Who was to blame?

She watched the house burn
As it crumbled to the dirt
She couldn’t believe how much it hurt

A thought came to her mind
In this terrifying scene
*“Is there someone after me?”
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I close my eyes and I can hear the ocean rolling up onto the soft white sand
I close my eyes and I can smell the salt water teasing my nose
I close my eyes and I feel the sun blanketing my body with warmth
I close my eyes and I hear the seagulls passing by

I close my eyes and I see you
Like a dream, you reach out your hand
I take it
My heart is filled with love
My body tingles

I open my eyes
I'm in my bed
Alone
I cry for the moments I had
With my eyes closed...
GailForceWinds Jul 2015
I walk along the crowded sidewalk
All I see is faceless people
No expression
Neither happy or sad
No emotion, as they look down at their devices
No eye contact
No sound
I look in the mirror
Have I become one of them?
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I feel blessed today to just be alive
Thankful and grateful
No need to hide
I've been so self centered
Always dwelling on me
It's time to wake up
And focus on thee
I'm not alone
I cannot forget
You're always with me
I shall not fret
You've carried me this far
I trust in your strength
Sometimes I forget
I need always keep the faith
*
Amen*

GailForceWinds Dec 2014
We worry and worry so needlessly
Worry about things that may never be
Live for today
And worry not
Trust in Him
He knows a lot
Don't feel sad about everything you do
Remember the world
Doesn't revolve around you
Have faith in Him and turn it over
Stop looking for that four leaf clover
Trust in Him, he knows what's best
Give it up, He'll take care of the rest
Keep the faith....
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I've fallen
Like dead leaves in autumn
A fallen Angel
Who never had wings
A fallen bird
Who never could sing
A fallen plane
With no survivors
A fallen star
Full of fire
I need to get up
And fly again
High above the clouds
Until the end
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Take me away
To that special place
From the everyday, crazy city pace

Up to the mountains
The sky is so blue
Blustering clouds
A beautiful hue

Not a sound can be heard
Except maybe a bird
The silence is peaceful, serenity abound
No human beings anywhere to be found
No words need to be spoken
In this place so unbroken

Take me there
To the sweet clean air
I don’t want to go back
To that crazy rat pack
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I need to get far away
How far is far enough?
Another house
Another state
Another country
But how do I get away from me?
Out of my skin,
So a new life can begin
How do I get there
Only one way, I fear...
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I sat on the bench, every day in the park
I'd love to sit there
From light to dark
Something was different,
When I saw your face
Your chiseled profile
And striking blue eyes...
Took my breath away
Took me by surprise
You strolled casually by
Confidence in every stride
Do I want you to see me?
Do I want to just hide?
Your powerful aura has me magnetized
I can't stop myself,
I'm mesmerized
I jump off the bench
I have no control
I follow you...
You don't even know
I walk faster and faster
To keep up the pace
I don't want to lose your beautiful face
I want to say something
But no words will come out
What’s controlling me,
What’s this all about?
Is it fatal attraction?
I know you want me too
Once I catch you,
I'll know what to do…
The park is getting crowded, it's hard to keep up,
Something inside, tells me I must
Then I see her, standing there
Tall and beautiful, long shiny hair
He walks up and gives her a kiss on the cheek
There's a small child running, underneath his feet
My heart is screaming "No, I'm sure he's the one!"
Who is this woman, I want her gone!
I sit on the bench, day after day, watching and waiting
She had become my prey...
The park was empty
She was walking alone
Distracted by the beeping coming from her phone
I walked over slowly, never to be seen
I took out the knife
It gallantly gleamed
I waited until the right moment,
Her back was to me
All I wanted was for him to be free…
I lifted the knife high, and struck it down hard
Her body went limp, her face grossly scared
I went back to my bench
Holding the knife tight
Sirens were wailing, I saw the flickering lights
They must understand
This is how it had to be,
He didn’t love her, he was meant to be with me…
GailForceWinds Jul 2015
Some days I'm cold
Some days I'm hot
Some days are full of fear
Stomach in a knot

How do I shake this
I'm trapped in the midst
Don't know what I'm afraid of
So how can I fix?
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
It is fear
That drives us
That defines us
That keeps us in darkness

We must break free from fear
Before we can truly live
Spread the truth and gratefully give

I long for the day
To be honest and free
Happy to be alone with me

We worry too much
It's fear's best friend
They love it when you get them together again

Worry and fear
Is there anything worse?
I think not
So I'll end this verse
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I'm not afraid of anything
life is too short to let fear in
Fear itself is a four letter word
One I won't say, from my lips, it'll never be heard

I'll take my chances
I've got nothing to lose
The world is mine for the taking
Since I put down the *****

So come along for this ride with me
You too can feel this free
Living without fear, sit and relax
It's amazing when you get your life back
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
How I hate this stupid holiday
Who came up with it anyway?
Flowers and candy, cards and jewelry
Shouldn’t it be this way every day?

Hearts and cupids
They make me sick
All those couples
Will they actually stick?

Or are they together for this one special day
Praying for a relationship, hoping the other one stays

So for all of us singles
I only have one thing to say
Have a happy February 14th
***** Valentines Day!
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I don't care if I'm wrong or right
I'll never abandon this overwhelming fight

My fight is for love
Deep and true
I realize now
That will never be you

But I won't give up
He's out there somewhere
Looking for me, like I'm looking for him
This fight of mine, someday I will win
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
She sat and waited for the sirens and police cars
She knew they’d be coming
She didn’t run, just gazed at the stars

She was ready to be taken away
This was her final free day
But she was never really free
She had to take his life, this was the only way

No more torture, no more ****
She’s covered with his blood
She enjoys the smell and the taste

It was finally time for her to take back her life
That’s what provoked her to pick up the knife

He had no idea what she was about to do
He came in so cocky, treating her like a fool

She wasn’t going to take it, not one more time
She jabbed him with the knife, feeling no control over her mind

The police came in ready to fight
But she had none left in her
She was all out of fright

They cuffed her and walked her away
She grinned to herself
What a wonderful day
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
It's once again that time of year
Filled with joy and holiday cheer
Then why are there tears in my eyes
What on earth makes me want to cry?
Even worse, pray to die...
I feel no cheer inside my head
I can't drag my body out of my bed
People so happy
Smiling all through the day
I don't have clue what to say
I don't have an answer why I'm so sad
Acquaintances tell me it can't be that bad
I pull down the shades
And hide in my room
I don't want to spoil their cheer with my gloom
I'm all alone, once again
No one will notice
Not one single friend
I hide under the covers
And wait for the New Year
Maybe then, I'll find my cheer
GailForceWinds Aug 2015
I don't know where I'm going
I barely remember where I've been
I just can't go back there
Can't go back to him

I am my own prisoner
Trapped in my head
Nothing to live for
I'm better off dead

I look in the mirror
And all I can see
Is an old battered woman
That woman is me

I know I'm not dreaming
This nightmare is real
I don't want to live
I don't want to feel

Take me away
You pretty white pills
I know you can do it
Please finish the ****
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
You got my heart going
My boiling blood flowing...
When I think of your touch,
it's almost too much..
I feel like I'm melting,
deep into your chest...
I'm weak in the knees
my heart is ready to crest...
I'm higher than the brightest star in the sky
when I think of you, I feel I can fly
I'm fire and ice when I think of you
but you don't know me...
so what do I do?
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I’ll never forget my very first crush
I remember feeling like a great big mush

I was only sixteen, I didn’t know what love was
All I could see was fireworks and doves

Many years later my crush did find me
He proclaims he’s always been smitten
But how could that be?

He’s happily married, at least that’s what he says
But he also told me I’ve always been in his head

So why now is he searching me out?
I don’t understand, I have lots of doubt

Is it the truth or is it a scam
Do I take a chance and meet him
Do I really give a ****?

It’s been thirty years
But my curiosity prevails
I shouldn’t be nervous
He’s just another male

I sit and I wait for my crush of years ago
I hope I don’t choke when it’s time to say hello

Feeling weak in the knees and sixteen again
I see him walk in, the reunion begins…
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I’ll never forget my very first kiss
It was better than ice cream, it was total bliss

When his lips touched mine
I didn’t know what to do
They were soft and gentle
Like a soft mist of dew

I felt kind of funny
A little bit giddy
Then I felt his tongue
My head got a bit dizzy

It felt like an hour, no more like a day
That his tongue was in my mouth
Wanting to play

He’s obviously comfortable and has done this before
I don’t want to seem awkward
or like a random cheap *****

It’s only a kiss
I keep telling myself
Am I enjoying it, I don’t know
I feel like a character in a game show

It finally ended
Our mouths did unlock
He looked at me
I was overwhelmed with shock

He must have seen the look in my eyes
He grinned and then to my surprise
He kissed my cheek and took my hand
I felt like a princess in Disney Land
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
A beautiful white blanket
Covers the ground
Not a soul was outside yet
You couldn't hear a sound

The first snowfall
How majestic are the trees
Painted with pure white
They are so beautiful and bright

Here comes the plows
Salt trucks too
Covering the beautiful painting
With black and some blue

What a shame
Let nature be
At least the didn't salt the trees
Fly
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
Fly
I wake up to morning
day after day
unhappy and sad, again and again

I want to cry
I want to die
My only option is to fly....

So what do I do
when I've lost all hope
turn to the bottle,
turn to dope?

I sit on my balcony, ten stories high
it's a beautiful day
why do I cry?

I cannot run
I cannot hide
I'm stuck with me
left with no pride...

I can't mask my sadness
I can't stop the pain
I really don't want to go through this again

My friends surround me, they do have names
Jack Daniels, Jim Beam...
They are always ready, to play my games

I sit with my friends, as they comfort me
the sadness floats away
so does me...

I can no longer reason
what's right and what's wrong
my friends have mislead me
so goes the song

I continue to drink, till I believe I can fly
one foot off the balcony,
I bid my friends a goodbye…
Fly
GailForceWinds Jul 2015
Fly
Majestic trees
Touching the sky
How I wish
I could fly

Fly like a bird
See the world from above
Glide through life
On the wings of a dove

See a different view
of the ground below
Clean and bright
Through the glistening sunlight

My tears will fall
Like raindrops from the clouds
Cleanse the earth
Remove the shroud
GailForceWinds Jul 2015
I'm sitting here all alone
Staring down at my phone
I'm flying out once again
With myself, my only friend

Excitement is lost
It's a regular day
I can't run from myself
No matter how far away

I say I need peace
This much is true
I only wish
I was leaving with you
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
The moon and the stars
Light up the sky
So beautiful they sparkle
I wish I could fly
I’d fly to the moon, float through the stars
Safe and secure, no more hidden scars
I can watch the dawn
Of a brand new day
From up here
Far far away
No one can touch me
No more hurt or pain
I’ll stay up in the stars
Tears falling like purple rain
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
Don’t run off, I don’t want to scare you away
I’m sure you’ll have fun if you come out to play

My tongue is deadly
It’s a very strong tool
It’ll take over your body
You’ll be mine to rule

I’ll warn you once
My powers are wicked
Pleasures are many
You’ll soon be addicted

So are you ready for the time of your life
No need to worry, I won’t tell your wife
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I long for you to notice me...
Do you see me?
I'm right here
No!
I can't want you
It is forbidden
I  know you won't love me
The way I need to be loved.
I set myself up over and over
Again
Hurt and heartache are too familiar
My heart is raw, exposed
Then why do I think about you...
And me
More than ****** images take over my thoughts
Thoughts of you and me, intertwined, mind and body
Two spirits as one
But you don't notice me
And  I can't want you to...
A tear runs down my face
You are forbidden...
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
She sat at her computer
Waiting for her food
Where is the Pizza guy?
She’s no longer amused

Then it came
A knock on the door
She ran to open it
Skating across the floor

It wasn’t the Pizza guy
He was no one she knew
She had no idea what she should do

He forced himself into the room
She suddenly felt filled with gloom
He forced her down onto the bed
Took the pillow and covered her head

She was waking up in the emergency room
The Pizza guy found her, naked and bruised

She knew she was *****
Didn’t know what to do
Her life had been changed forever
That much she knew
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I sit in my home office
Wondering what is this all about
Why am I here
Why all this doubt?

I want to feel the world at my feet
I want to dance to a different beat

This corporate crap is getting old
I don’t even believe it, I’m no longer sold

I want to run to a place
Where peace is abound
Where serenity wraps like a warm blanket
Only beautiful soothing sounds

I can’t find it here
Sitting at this desk
Am I willing to just run, take that risk?

I have to do something
Before I lose my soul
I need to set a lasting goal

It isn’t here at this desk of mine
I need to find peace of mind

Forever serene
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
I wish I saw it coming
I wanted to be blind
I wish a had the chance now, to hit rewind
But would I do anything different?
I fear not
You had me under your spell
Forget-me-not...
You screamed at the kids
You kicked the dog
You were never the one , we were always wrong...
Your anger took over
You were out of control
Swinging the knife, you were on a roll
Now I lay here
In a pool of blood
My family lie dead
And soon I will be too
My last thoughts are I still love you...
I slowly start to drift away
To think I begged you, to please stay
Goodbye my love, it's time to go
Forget-me-not...
I still love you so
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
He'll never join me in my bed
I can't think of him anymore
I feel like some two-bit *****
I refuse to beg for his love
oh how I do crave a great big hug
no no no
shut down my brain
I can't think about him again
This is no good
He doesn't know I exist
When I think of him, I cannot resist
I'll just move on to the next obsession
Trying to shake my deep depression
I don't want to base my life on a man
I know it's wrong, I don't know how it began
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