I see a woman in front of me, she looks familiar, something about her eyes.. I've seen them before.. they look tired and sad.... she must have once been beautiful, but I feel something terrible has happened to her...

I smile at her and see a glimmer of sparkle in her eyes, a slight grin in the corner of her mouth. Does she know me? Should I talk to her and ask what is wrong?

She continues to stare at me, with those sad eyes.... I feel uncomfortable, I can't breath... I need to leave now. I turn away and walk to another room.

She is there.... how can that be?

I realize in horror, it's a mirror, and the woman is me.

I met you almost one year ago
Then eight months later, I let you go
I tried to get you back, but you have already moved on
You’re still in my head
I can’t believe you’re gone
As I stare out the window
I wonder, wonder why
How I let go
Of such a wonderful guy

She loved to have fun
The hot 'Party Girl"
With a sparkle in her eye and a smile on her face
No one on earth could keep up with her pace
Where is she going,
it'll be a surprise
You can see the mischief in her eyes
Let's do up the town, the city too!  
When she's finished with that,  she'll find a new place to do!
The world is all hers and she knew it too well
Come and party, burn in hell...
The red camaro is ready to cruise
Don't forget the white stuff, and the bottles of *****...
Speeding down the highway
let the party begin
Start passing around that tonic and gin
Keep the party rockin, if you dare
She gulped from the bottle without a care
The road started winding, but she didn't slow down
She's anxious and ready to burn up this town
Where'd the truck come from?
A load crashing sound
The camaro flew through the air, till it hit the ground
There was nothing left of the tiny sports car
It burst into flames
Her body floated high up towards the stars
All she wanted was to have some fun
The party was over, before it begun

I open the bottle of tiny little pills before my feet hit the floor
Was I ever happy without them?

I'm not happy now, they have let me down

Weren't there simpler times.. before

ADHD
ADD
OCD
Depression
Anxiety
Manic

Too many to list

Have we created this epidemic?
Happy Pills, doesn't everyone take one form or another?

They are prescribed so they must be ok....
But they're not

How did they take hold of me
They want to **** me, and they are succeeding...

I’m racing through life
Trying to escape the pain
Do I run?
Or jump on the clamoring train...

I don’t remember yesterday,
Will I remember today?
The day will be gone, no instant replay

The clock keeps moving forward, calendar pages turn
No time to waste, no time to burn
Always chasing, the next best thing
Missing the melody, of the birds as they sing

I want to stop running
But I don’t know how
I’m just another human,
Faceless in the crowd

No one can know
What I’ve been through
Don’t look at me, keep the attention on you

I guess I’ll keep running
Chasing the dream
Of rainbows and butterflies, and a bubbling stream

She walked into the dark dreary bar,
wondering if she should turn back, run to her car...
Smoke billowed without notice, filling the small room,
a few regulars were perched on barstools, speaking of gloom
They saw her walk in as they poured down their beers
Her well pressed suit and designer shoes,
She definitely did not belong here...
The high tops stood empty, as she pulled up a stool
Ashtrays and peanuts strategically placed, beer on tap, being kept cool
She sat still in the darkness, thick smoke all around
She was a prisoner now, she could not make a sound
Her head began to ache, her mind began to race
She knew she did not belong in this place...
The jukebox began playing some sad country song
Her heart started screaming, something was wrong!
The door finally opened
There he stood
Wearing the red sweater, like he said he would
Strange grin on his face, he was covered in sweat
She couldn't move now, not a hair out of place
He walked closer and closer, her heart started to race
She had no where to hide, no where to run,
She knew right then, the nightmare had only begun...

The wind blew gently through my window, soft and cool on a hot summer day... a few raindrops fell against the ground, enough to make the air steamy...

I slid into my white satin and lace nightgown and crawled under my red satin sheets, ready for a good nights rest...

I heard footsteps coming toward the bedroom door... The door was not locked, but I did not feel fear or anxiety... I felt a warm calm come over me, a peaceful feeling I can not explain...

Above me stood a beautiful man... dressed in a white tux, carrying a dozen red roses... I wasn't scared, but confused... where did he come from, who was he? He leaned over and kissed my cheek tenderly... he laid the roses down by my side and gently stroked my hair. He told me everything was going to be ok, that the time has come, I was ready to meet my soulmate... I wanted him, not some soulmate! He whispered in my ear to be patient and have faith, and more would be revealed... he then turned and walked out the door... I couldn't move, I was paralyzed...

I awoke to the sound of the alarm clock at 5am... had it only been a dream? was this man not real?

I pulled back the covers, still in wonder, then I saw the red rose petal...

I lie there smiling for a long time, holding the rose petal tight in my hands....

Have I finally found peace
Or is this just a charade
I feel the serenity
No clowns or parades
The ship is sailing smoothly
The sun kisses the ocean
I love the feeling
Of the slight rocking motion
The only thing missing
Making me blue
The touch of you're body
Yes, I mean you

The sun is out
yet darkness is all I see
The air is warm
yet only cold encompasses me
The fear is overwhelming
fear of what?
I'm hiding in the closet now
afraid to come out
they might see me
who are they?
the voices
which voices?
the voices in my head
I know they want me dead
I breath
I hear
I see
I know they are after me
how long can I hide
they are screaming louder now
make them stop
I don't know how
I'm stuck with the voices
they won't go away
**** me already
I can't take another day!

I loved you....
I gave you all of myself...
I stood before you, naked, heart and soul exposed
Vulnerable in every way
And you betrayed me...
You turned on me like a tornado, out of control,
twisting and turning, unpredictable
destroying everything in your path
Leaving nothing but wreckage behind
Broken, jagged pieces scattered and forgotten,
Unrecognizable...
*Except for a faint reflection of me...

I speed down the highway
In a rush, like every other day
But for what?
I'm missing the beautiful sunrise
Red and purple hues overwhelm the sky
But my head is full...
Work
Bills
Him
I pull into the parking space like every other day
But I don't recall how I got here
I Walk pass the glistening lake,
Sun dancing on the still water
Wild flowers line the sidewalk, amazing colors
Yet I miss the beauty around me... I don't see any of it
When did I become a prisoner in my body
Surrounded by faces, so serious, so sad
Everyone seems to be speaking stories of gloom
Past, present and future
I look across at the small child, waiting for the school bus with his mom, a smile on his face
Only 5 or 6, still untainted
Everything to him is new,  exciting
Yes, the box is more fun than the gift inside
I stop in my tracks, look up to the universe for answers
I want to see the world through the eyes of a child
The trees, the lake, the butterflies
All the colors of the rainbow
Is it too late for me?
The breeze hits my face
Telling me to hold on
Keep it simple
And smile, for no reason....

I close my eyes
And pray to dream
Of you and me
How I want it to be
But only in my dreams...
I get to hold you
Touch you
Kiss you
I pray some more
For dreams to come true
That is the only way
I can ever have you...

No one can save me
I'm too far gone
I don't want to venture out past my door
Sleep was my friend, but not anymore
I've chosen sleep over
Life
Love
Play
When did this happen
When was that day
I escape into another world
Where no one can hurt me
My problems are gone
Then I wake up
I dread the day
Everything's back that went away
Going through the motions
Until I can sleep again
Unconsciousness
Is my only friend