When you look at me that way
My entire body starts to sway
My heart beats faster
I can feel the heat
Kiss me baby, sweep me off my feet
Your run you hand up and down my spine
I’m starry-eyed, no need for wine
Come closer baby
Hold me tight
Kiss me all over
All through the night
I feel your tongue caress my ear
You nibble my neck, whispering words so dear
Take me now
Let our bodies dance as one
I’m ready baby
To have some fun!

The voices in my head
I know they want me dead
They won’t go away
No matter what I say

They tell me to hurt myself
Pick up the knife
Cut your arm
Take that cigarette
Burn your arm
Then they tell me they mean no harm

There are three of them that live in my head
I still can hear them when I go to bed
They whisper and chatter, all the night long
To drown out the sound, I hum a song

But they are always with me
Making trouble, making me sad
I get so annoyed, I get so mad

But what would I do without them
I really don’t know
They’ve been with me forever
I can’t let them go

I’ll let them hurt me
They comfort me too
Just by being there
They are really true blue

To be in love
To be loved
To cherish another human being more than life itself
To find that special someone
Is it only for the young?
What is young
I thought I'd found love before
The tingly feeling you get
When your heart skips a beat
When all you do is think of that person, hear their voice, picture their face
And life feels complete
Where is such love?
Does it exist or is it a fantasy which will never come true
How many times did I think it was you
But you left
No one wants commitment
Casual affairs are the trend
but I will keep looking for true love, until the end

Turn back the time
Change the channel
Erase the old tape
Move to Montana

Am I afraid of my past?
Or afraid of my future
What am I running from?
Please insert the sutures

When will I be whole again?
I lost my only friend
The bottle is empty
Here we go again

One day at a time
Doesn’t seem to go very fast
Every day is pain
I don’t think I will last

I still dream of you
I can't explain why
When I think of us
I just want to cry

You are with her now
Happy as can be
I'm so pleased for you
I just wish it was me

How do I get rid of the pain
My heart screams every day
There is nothing I can do
Nothing  I can say

There is no second chance
I can't get you back
I'll live with my tears
My life's turned to black

I woke up today
Ungrateful for what I have
I’m always wanting more
Day-dreaming of Amore
Like humpty dumpty I took a great fall
Early this morning, no one to call
I’m all banged up, wondering why
Because my head is always stuck in the sky
Not paying attention to the things at hand
Now I’m paying for it, the pain is grand
I get on my knees, bruised and on fire
I pray to God with deep desire
I’ve prayed a lot, but truly mean it this time
I need Your guidance, so divine
All I want is to do Your will
Mine isn’t working, carry me over this hill*
“Help me Dear God”

Another day on this planet
How many are left
Could be one, could be hundreds
We don’t know

What I do know is that every moment of every day
I want to spend with you
Loving you, kissing you, caring for you

The years have flown by
I’ve finally found you
I won’t let you go
I’m not losing you, I’m praying that our love will grow

I’ll love you forever, until the end
It’s you and me baby
We can begin again
I’ll love you forever, until the end

I want a vacation
I want it now
I don’t care where
I don’t care how

I need to get far away
Run bunny run
I need to let loose
Have some fun

It all takes money
And I have none
My dreams are smashed
The crying has begun

I’m stuck here
Can’t get away
How much I hate it
I must **** it up and stay

V-Day
Just another day
That I’m not Ok

For some it’s a day full of love
Chocolates and flowers
Flying doves

It only comes once a year
But every time, I shed a tear

Is it real, or is it fake
A Hallmark moment, or just another heart ache

I’m still alone on this Valentine’s day
Go away all you couples, stay the hell away

I hope you bleed from the thorns on your bouquet
And your chocolate melts into a pile of clay

Go out for your fancy dinner
Break open the champagne

It’s only one day
But for me, one full of pain

Does he love me
Does he not
His actions say yes
His words say yes
But how can I believe what I’ve seen and heard before
Empty words and actions leaving me crying on the floor

Always an obstacle in the way
Wait for this, wait for that
In time, please wait, coming soon is the day

Well this and that has happened
Now am I expected to forget?
Believe that you love me, like you said when we first met?

Forget the lonely waiting moments?
Wondering where you were
If you loved me or not, what you were doing with her?

You dangled the carrot for so long
I don’t know if the damage can be undone

I’m sober now
And she is dead
Of course you want to crawl into my bed

I want more, and so I deserve
I’ve told you this, have you not heard?

No commitment from you still
I’m single and free
If you wait much longer
You will never be with me

How do you start trusting again?
After being beat up
Knocked down
Heart ripped out and cut into tiny pieces
How do you forgive?
How do you go on?
How do you fall in love again?
Are any of these things possible?
Or, do we accept our fate
Alone
Unloved
The walking dead
No one can touch me
I’m breathing
But I’m not alive
My heart and soul have died

I can't leave my room
I can't leave my space
I'm so sick and tired
Of the human race
I'm strapped to my bed
I was bad last night
It was Lucy this time
But it wasn't a crime
Barry is watchful
Playing it low key
I love them all, they always protect me
the nurse comes in with my meds
the crazy ward, lost in my head
I'll never get bored
I laugh to myself
I'm Charlotte today
I wait till they leave
throw the pills away
Lucy is playful
She wants out of this place
She needs to calm down
Slow down her pace
Alarms going off
Are the coming for me?
Maybe Charlotte or Barry
I can't see
I laugh and I laugh
As they take me away
It's just another beautiful day...
In Ward 8

The tears feel down my cheek
Like little water falls with no place to go
No basin to catch them, no pretty rainbow

So here I am another day
What am I supposed to say?
Yippee I’m glad to be alive
That would just be a big fat lie

On and on and on I must go
Can’t let on, let no one know
I’m miserable as can be
What the hell is wrong with me?

The sun
The moon
The stars
The Sky

How I wish I could fly

I’d fly to the moon and soar through the stars
Fly past the sun and go straight to Mars

There I would stay, far away from you
Would you finally get it?
Yes, we are through!

I'm running out of reasons
To stay alive
I try to help others
Always left alone to cry

Does anyone know me
Does anyone care
They say I'm great
One of a kind, rare

I'm not so great
That I know
But if you look into my heart
You'll see my glow

No one has time
To see the real me
Even I am blind
What do you see?

What is left
When there is nothing left
Nothing left to live for
Nothing left to die for

What is left
When you’ve done it all
Got up from every fall
Crossed the ocean
Crossed the desert to
What is there left to do

What is left
When I lie my head down at night
A few new dreams, all full of fright

What is left
Of me, my friend
When it seems I’m at the very end

What is love anyway?
I thought I knew
I thought it was you

Then you left
And I was all alone
Just sitting and staring at the phone

Love can be beautiful
Love can be grand
I need to be careful
Before you take my hand

I fall in love so easily it seems
Especially with you
You’re always in my dreams

Should I take a chance at love again
You tell me, my darling friend

I’m so **** funny
I’m so **** great
Then why am I sitting here alone in hate

Hating the world
Nothing is fair
Hating on men
Hating the air

Why be alive
One more day
For what I ask
Take me, I pray

But I keep waking up
Over and over again
Asking the same question
When Lord, when….

What ever happened to true romance?
Wining and dining, a kiss on the cheek
The dating game, the courtship dance

Those days are gone
At least for me
My dates are like chameleons
Colors change as need be

I still believe in love
Someone else out there must too
I just haven’t found him
Could he be you?

Who am I?
How dare you ask
Don’t you remember me?
I’m part of your past

You thought I forgot
All those things that you did
Or I didn’t know the things that you hid

I’ll never forget the day I saw you
Your hair was so blonde, your eyes so blue
I fell in love from that moment on
Until the day you were forever gone

But you stand here now
You don’t look the same
What a waste, what a shame

Do you know who I am?
I’m a superstar
You can see me on Big Screens near and far

So look at me know, I’m doing just fine
As I watch you do another line

I can’t be angry anymore
You’re just a ****** and a *****

Of course you don’t remember me
You can hardly stand, I doubt you can see

I’ll pray for you and pray for me
And for the way things turned out to be

Did you ever feel
Completely numb
Not caring anymore
About anyone?

Lost in your head
Stuck in your bed
Can’t get up
Won’t go out
What is this all about?

Lack of interest
Loss of self
I’ve been cursed
By the angry elf

I see things
That aren’t there
I can’t see through the purple glare
I don’t know what happened to me
I see spiders, do the spiders see me?

Where is the **** woman
In the white dress
Doesn’t she know I’m a terrible mess?
I need my pills
I’m starting to sweat
I know they forgot me, that’s a safe bet

Here she comes, finally
The woman in white didn’t forget about me

Who is this?
What is my name?
I have no idea, I’ve gone insane

You came out of nowhere
It was a rainy Sunday
You made me feel like a princess
Just for the day

You talked of a future
Although we’ve never met
A date was made
We even made a silly bet

It was all cute and cuddly, I couldn’t get enough
A lot of sweet nothings, fun fluffy stuff

We had a rapport
Conversation was great
Little did I know
It would end up in hate

You said you couldn’t wait to meet me
The very next day
So you can imagine my surprise
When you just went away

The last text from you was a simple “sorry”
What does that even mean?
Was it all a big joke to you?
I just want to scream

So today is the day
Our big date was planned for
But you are not real
I’m just standing here staring at the floor

Who are you?

I don't want to live in pain and fear anymore
How do I get away from you?
I run and run, but end up back here, with you
I hide, but you always find me
I can't get out of the quicksand that is swallowing me whole
Slowly, very slowly, day after day
Sleep is my only refuge
My one sure escape route
I am free, in the safe light of my dreams
But then I awake
Pain returns, fear surrounds me
I look for you, but I'm the only one here
It's me!!!

Anger
Jealousy
Resentment
Hate

These will surely destroy us if we let them

Forgiveness
Happiness
Gratitude
Love

These will surely save us if we let them

Choose to live, live to be saved…

Not to be destroyed by things we cannot control
But find a way to once again be whole

Am I too loud
I can be silent
Too shy
I can be violent

Am I too flashy
Too much bling
Too much dancing
I don't have to sing

Too happy
Too sad
Too forgiving
Too mad

I don't know who to be
I just don't want to be me

I look out the window
At the beautiful blue
Not a cloud in the sky
Why am I thinking of you

Trees are bare
They’ve lost all their leaves
The air is crisp
The ground is starting to freeze
Why am I thinking of you

Light fluffy snow covers the ground
Little footprints of animals scattered around
I stare out the window
At this beautiful day
And wonder why I would throw it away

I should be happy, but feel so blue
Why am I thinking of you…

I don't always understand why I'm here
I ask God, but He's not always clear
I keep going on, day after day
Waiting for Him to show me the way

I have to believe there is more than all this
These worldly items I will not miss
All these things fall very short
Of keeping me happy for very long

Always looking for the next big high
Maybe it'll be found up in the sky

If I make the statement “I want to die”
Would you even bother to ask why?

“Why not die”
I would reply

There is no reason I should stay
Just to suffer one more day

To live in grief and misery
Pain and anguish smother me

It doesn’t seem so hard to choose
Either way I’m destined to lose

I think I should just take my life
I need to make sure I do it precisely right

One mistake and here I will stay
If they find me alive, they will put me away

Here comes a nurse, where the heck am I?
Am I alive, or did I already die?

I'm wild
I'm crazy
I'm the woman of your dreams
Can you take this wild ride?
Come now, you know you can't hide
Are you afraid
I'm too much of a woman for you
You are right
But baby come close
Hold me tight
I'll make things brighter than you could ever dream
Come on baby, I got the whipped cream

I’m not good enough for you?
Was being honest a mistake?
I put myself out there again
And you cancelled our date

Who wants an addict?
I’ve been in recovery for years
The word itself scares humans
It brings me to tears

They will never get it
Nor give me a chance
You said you really liked me
But never made it to the dance

Why are you better than me?
No skeletons in your closet?
Can you throw the first stone?
Can you be that honest?

Do I give up on love?
Do I lie about my past?
I’ll just pick up a drink
That’s the part I was cast

Winter blues
What to do
I need to be
By the sea
Breathing in the warm salty air
This cold is overwhelming, it's everywhere
Take me away
I'm ready today
Where the sand is hot
The water's turquoise and blue
Far far away where I won't think of you
Somehow I'll get there
Get out of this place
Images of you
I need to erase
Until then I will sit alone by the fire
Dreaming of my lifelong desire
Happy and free
Warm and safe
How I long to be at that special place

Another snowy day ahead
A good day to stay in bed

Put on the fireplace
Release the doves
It's a perfect day to fall in love

Wrapped in big fluffy blankets
By the fire
on the floor
Suddenly there is a knock on the door

Should she answer?
She doesn't know what to do
She peaks through the peep hole
And sees that it's you

She opens the door
His arms grab her tight
Oh how she loves
This winter so white

I look at the sculptures in the sky
The beautiful white creations
Against the deep blue sky
With just a hint of red
As the sun sets over the ocean

I wish I could fly
Jump from cloud to cloud
Light as a feather I’d be
Not a care in the world
Until the dark comes
I’d close my eyes
And dream of the light
And the beauty of the sky

Oh, how I wish I could fly

I sit here at my desk
I feel like I’m under house arrest
I’m stuck here for hours
Being watched and scorned
This can’t be the reason I was born?
To sit like a mannequin
Typing robotically away
Looking at my life
Fading to grey…

*There has to be a better way

Life is too short
To be sitting behind a desk
Time keeps moving faster
Life’s becoming a mess

What did you do for the last thirty years?
Sit at my desk, eyes full of tears

All the young people
Have no idea
They have their sights on job and career

Until that day they finally wake up
Looking down a flight of stairs
Stairs to nowhere
They just keep going down
Until there is nothing around

Why can’t we enjoy our time on this earth?
Without the lies of job and career we’ve been told from birth

I really don’t want to sit and pout
But this desk work is killing me
I’d rather have the gout

Work hard and you shall have…
Have what?

We work, we die
I look to the clouds and cry
I only long for peace and joy
They are nowhere in site
So what’s my next ploy?

I really don’t ask for much
All my plans are turning to mush
Doom and gloom is all I see
No knight in shining armor to come rescue me

I made my choices
Not all good ones I admit
But I’ve been trying so hard
I haven’t yet quit

So why is life so unfair?
Almost too much to bear
On foot in front of the other
And here I go again
Hoping for something wonderful
Around the next bend

I sit on the bar stool
In the dimly lit bar
I’m getting buzzed
I can’t see near or far

When did I lose my wit and charm?
I never heard a warning alarm
Drink in hand, shot waiting next
When did I get myself into this mess?

I put the glass to my lips, my only friend
It’s off to the races, here I go again

I’m scared to leave, afraid to stay
Uncertain if I’ll be given another day

I don’t know what’s to become of me
It’s getting harder and harder to see

I’m so **** tired of living this way
I don’t think I can handle this world of gray

I down my drinks, and then another
This life I’m living, I’m starting to smother

I feel myself falling from the stool
I only hear laughing
I pass out like a fool

Blackness is my only friend, maybe this is finally the end

A change in season
A turning point in life
Where do I go
In the middle of the night

It’s time for a change
This is no game
I want a fresh start
I want a pure heart

A heart that hasn’t been broken
A hundred times or more
I’ve long given up keeping score

I just want a break
To start brand new
I can do it alone
Or do it with you

I wanted your heart
But you left me your sock
I guess I was just dreaming
Do I really want you or not?

What do I do with this memory of you
I should just burn it
No that wouldn’t do

Might you come back?
Should I save it in hope?
I’ll sit here and ponder
While I finish my dope