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240 · Feb 2015
True Blue
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
The voices in my head
I know they want me dead
They won’t go away
No matter what I say

They tell me to hurt myself
Pick up the knife
Cut your arm
Take that cigarette
Burn your arm
Then they tell me they mean no harm

There are three of them that live in my head
I still can hear them when I go to bed
They whisper and chatter, all the night long
To drown out the sound, I hum a song

But they are always with me
Making trouble, making me sad
I get so annoyed, I get so mad

But what would I do without them
I really don’t know
They’ve been with me forever
I can’t let them go

I’ll let them hurt me
They comfort me too
Just by being there
They are really true blue
239 · Mar 2015
Change
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I’m just living life a day at a time
I thought I would sit here and write this rhyme

Each and every day is full of change
From the smallest ripple in a stream
To the man I’ve been waiting for
Walking out of my dream

I live for change
It’s not scary to me as it is for some
Change can be good
Change can be fun

Change is not always great
That I must admit
I always have to be ready
For that next heavy hit

But for most of my days
Life is an adventure to me
I long for the excitement
Reach for the sky, and that next mystery
239 · Dec 2014
I Write
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I write and I write
Yes that's what I do
It helps to keep me from thinking of you
As much as I write
Of love and despair
It doesn't ease the pain
You still don't seem to care
I'll keep writing
Until I die
It doesn't mean that I won't cry
Cry for you
Cry for me
Cry for what I want it to be
I'll just keep wiping the tears away
Maybe life will be better today
238 · Jan 2015
Cant sleep
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I have so much stuff running through my head
I'm wide awake lying here in my bed
I should be sleeping
But no such luck
A quick cat nap, this surely *****

So what to do now
In the middle of the night
Pick up my pen
And start to write
A quick one :)
236 · Jan 2015
Dreams don't die
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I had it all
The great career, big house, new car
So what happened to me, I had come so far

I lie here on the cold hard cot
Wrapped in an old wool blanket, torn and shot

My home is this shelter
It's been for a while
I don't remember the last time I smiled

The sun is rising, another day in Hell
Listening for the ring of the bell
To wait on line in the cold for food
I'll eat what I'm given no matter how crude

I'll take the bread and be grateful today
At least I have a place to stay
As hopeless as this all seems
I still hold on to some of my dreams

The day that I get out of here
Travel the world
Drink the best beer

I don't know how
I don't know when
But I'm going to start over again
236 · Dec 2014
New Year
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
A new year coming
I feel my life humming
To a brand new song
I hope I'm not wrong
I'm searching for the magic rainbow
It’s been so long since I've taken part in the show
I'm ready to live
Happily this year
Full of life
Full of cheer
It's gonna be grand
It's gonna be great
It's about time
To look at what I have, and appreciate
Happy New Year!
236 · Jan 2015
Dream On
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I know what I want and what I deserve
To cuddle, hold hands
that sweet goofy stuff
hugging and kissing
All that good mush
Am I crazy, expecting too much
A phone call on queue just to make sure I'm ok
not too much to ask, isn't that the right way
Never have to wonder if he loves me or not
misses me terribly when we are apart
He would never break my heart
I'm still looking for someone to play the part
*Dream on....
235 · Dec 2014
Nerve
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Do I want to die
or just sit and cry
it's so familiar
tears running down my cheek
is it worth getting out of bed
to hear the birds cheep
Why am I here
What purpose do I serve
I'd **** myself
But I don't have the nerve
234 · Oct 2014
Still Here
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
Today is the day... sweat beads up on my far head, hands shaking, lips quivering...

It's time, but am I ready? I can taste the bile coming up from my stomach to my mouth...

I cringe at the thought of leaving... But I need to run, run fast and far... running from myself, but I'm always there... How do I get away?

Death seems the only answer, as I pick up the knife, wondering if I have the courage to end the pain... I put the knife down slowly, scared and shaking...

I drop to my knees, weeping and confused...

I'm still here....
234 · Mar 2015
True love
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
To be in love
To be loved
To cherish another human being more than life itself
To find that special someone
Is it only for the young?
What is young
I thought I'd found love before
The tingly feeling you get
When your heart skips a beat
When all you do is think of that person, hear their voice, picture their face
And life feels complete
Where is such love?
Does it exist or is it a fantasy which will never come true
How many times did I think it was you
But you left
No one wants commitment
Casual affairs are the trend
but I will keep looking for true love, until the end
234 · Feb 2015
Just another love poem
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I lie here awake
Alone once again
Thinking of you, my lover, my friend

I don't know what will happen
Nor will I question a thing
I'll just sit back and wait
To see what God brings

I know He won't hurt me, this isn't the end
God knows what's best
Better than you or me my friend

I'll roll with the dice
Take a chance one more time
Because you are worth it
I hope someday you'll be mine
234 · Feb 2015
Your Choice
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
A change in season
A turning point in life
Where do I go
In the middle of the night

It’s time for a change
This is no game
I want a fresh start
I want a pure heart

A heart that hasn’t been broken
A hundred times or more
I’ve long given up keeping score

I just want a break
To start brand new
I can do it alone
Or do it with you
233 · Dec 2014
C'EST LA VIE
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Maybe you're not the one for me
Maybe I've been living in a fantasy?
It seemed like it was meant to be
Happily ever after, you and me
I think it's time to move the hell on
Will you miss me when I'm gone?
I'll never know
I'm not coming back
Get my suitcase
I'm ready to pack
No more tears for me
When I'm done, I'm done
*C'EST LA VIE
231 · Dec 2014
Rainbow
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I look out the window
The gray tarp covers the sky
I sit and wonder why
This time of year
Everything looks bleak
I look for the sun
Blue skies I do seek
There’s never a rainbow
Without the rain
Remember that
It helps the pain
So I wait and I smile
Waiting for the rainbow to appear
It’s dark and dismal
The silence I can hear
I long for the sun
Just a glimpse would be nice
It’s all just a fantasy
Sugar and spice
227 · Jan 2015
Love or Lust
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Is it love or is it lust
What is to become of us
This is not how I expected my life to be
But here we are, you and me
It's not the way things were before
We've both had our struggles, but never shut the door
It's all too familiar, yet totally strange
We've both gone through such immense change
We felt like one a few years ago
Now our souls don't seem to mold
Together in presence, but not in spirit
It's time we talk, even though you don't want to hear it
It easier for you to keep things the same
But I am too tired and restless to play this game
I don't think it's love
I don't think it's lust
I just think the "us" has turned to dust
227 · Dec 2014
Save Me
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
I’m lonely
I’m tired
I really don’t care
I don’t give a ****
If you’re in a jam
I’m sick of my life
I’m sick of this day
I’m just waiting for someone to take me away
Here they come
The men in white coats
It’s such a cliche
But they just might save me
From myself today
226 · Dec 2014
Scars of the Heart
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
My girlfriends are there to pick me up when I'm down
Help me put back the broken pieces scattered all around
I can't count on a man
They all break my heart
Too many scars
No room for one more
If you are a man
Step away from my door
I give up, I'm done
Too tired to run
I have no heart to break, it's been played like a toy
You've done your job well, it's already destroyed
225 · Jan 2015
The Web
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
When did I become a spider
Caught in this insane web
Of darkness and loneliness
Strands of beautiful silk in irregular arranged threads
Living my life with sick thoughts in my head
I catch my prey
In the beautiful spiral of sticky thread
They never see it coming
Soon they’ll be dead
225 · Jan 2015
My New Friend
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
The flight was full
I held my boarding pass
I sat and waited two hours, feeling like an ***

Traveling alone again, what would people think?
I have no friends, or maybe I stink?

I really don't give a **** what they say
I'm going away, I'm going today

I get in my seat
Waiting for our take off
Sitting next to a man
With a terrible cough

I just want to sleep
But he won't shut up
Telling me his life story
I've heard enough!

I close my eyes
He continues to speak
He just won't stop
As I attempt to sleep

I wake up a few minutes before touchdown
The man is still talking
There was no one else around

He's been talking to me this entire time?
I guess I found a new friend
So I'm ending this rhyme
225 · Jan 2015
Lost inspiration
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
It's late at night
I feel the need to write
Should it be romance
Or something full of fright?

I hold my pen
But my mind goes blank
My paper is empty
Has my creative ship sank?

My head is full
I cannot sleep
I cannot write
It makes me weep

I go upstairs and pet the cat
Have I lost my inspiration, where's it at?

Have I lost it
Or is it only a slump
I need to clear my head
And do a brain dump

Tomorrow is another day
do you know what they say?
Wake up fresh and you'll be ok
224 · Nov 2014
Dangerous Love
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
We are all alone...
The small row boat barely rocked on the crystal clear lake, a majestic mirror of ice...
sun glistening off the water,
blinding, like the love I felt coming from your eyes
You look at me, and I forget where I am
You touch me, I'm a slave to your hands
You kiss me, I forget who I am
My body tingles with your every touch
Your tongue runs up and down my body, over every mound and curve
I am motionless
a life size doll under your spell
I'm in total bliss,
with each deep wet kiss
unable to move, or utter a sound
We are all alone...
no one around
I pray that this moment will never end
but then the air shifted, oh no, not again!
Your eyes changed to tiny daggers, no love, just rage
I knew what was coming
as your fist hit my face
You pounded and pounded, until you were done
Red syrup covered us, as if we were one
You picked up the towel, to wipe up the blood, while saying you're sorry, and professing your love
you hold me tightly, you won't let go,
and tell me you love me..
I smile, I know...
224 · Mar 2015
Painting in the sky
GailForceWinds Mar 2015
I look to the sky
Crisp and clear
I look to the clouds
I see a bear

The wind gently shifts
I now see a duck
Ready to fly away
Make a wish, bring me luck

The clouds are amazing
A painting in the sky
I can see the angels
I'm not afraid to die
223 · Dec 2014
Tears
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Tears keep coming
Like faucets turned on high
Rain falling like buckets
I can't dry my eyes
Eventually I'll be all cried out
Wondering what it was all about
Cleanse my body
Cleanse my soul
The tears can't fill this gaping hole
I'll be ok, that's what they say
I'll stick around for another day
And pray....
221 · Feb 2015
Mr. Right
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I’m done looking for Mr. Right
He doesn’t exist
I’m tired of this fight

So I’ll go on my merry way
I’m the master of my day

No one to report to
No one to pretend I care
It’s all about me
It doesn’t have to be fair

So I’ll stay alone
With me, myself and I
I won’t shed a tear
I’ll never again have to cry
221 · Jan 2015
Fear
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
It is fear
That drives us
That defines us
That keeps us in darkness

We must break free from fear
Before we can truly live
Spread the truth and gratefully give

I long for the day
To be honest and free
Happy to be alone with me

We worry too much
It's fear's best friend
They love it when you get them together again

Worry and fear
Is there anything worse?
I think not
So I'll end this verse
220 · Dec 2014
The Sea
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Have I finally found peace
Or is this just a charade
I feel the serenity
No clowns or parades
The ship is sailing smoothly
The sun kisses the ocean
I love the feeling
Of the slight rocking motion
The only thing missing
Making me blue
The touch of you're body
Yes, I mean you
219 · Nov 2014
An Ordinary Day
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
It was a warm November day
The fog hung thick over the pond, which was placed beautifully in the center of the concrete surrounding the four story building
She looked out the window of the third floor
Nothing unusual
Everything normal, in its place
She glared out the window wondering what the day would bring...
This would be no ordinary day...
Her body was present but her mind was distracted
She sat at her desk, alone, waiting
Others should be coming soon
She opened her desk drawer, and there it was
Loaded, ready to go...  
Would this be the day?
Her mind was confused, nothing made sense..
Why was she here?
She could only feel fear
Then calm breathed over her...  
All fear was gone
She lifted the gun to her head
With a grin on her face
She knew it was time to leave this place
*This would be no ordinary day...
218 · Feb 2015
Live Rich
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I want to enjoy my life now
Live rich, die poor
I do not want to work until I die
Or retire when I’m too old to enjoy my life
I want to do what makes me happy now
Play now
Enjoy now
Live now
Somehow there is a way
I will find it
218 · Apr 2015
Seasons
GailForceWinds Apr 2015
Years go by
People come and go
Just like the seasons
The sun and the snow

They touch your heart
Some good some bad
Some leave you happy
Some leave you sad

Each person counts
Remembered or not
They were in your life for reason
Nothing happened for naught
217 · Jan 2015
Broken Promises
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
You promised me the world
Once your wife died
You couldn't wait for that day
So we could start new on our own way

Now she is gone, and so is my lover
But where are you
Hiding beneath the covers

You thought you were losing me
Maybe you were
I left him for you
Though you were still with her

I'll never know if it could have worked out with him
You came swooping through and ******* up my life again

Where are you now?
You cannot commit
I left him for you
And now I have ****!
216 · Nov 2014
One Horrible Night
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
It was a crisp fall morning
A full moon lit up the earth, the morning dew glistening brightly as the new day began
The sun started to peak out
Not a cloud in sight, just the blue haze covering the sky like a watercolor canvas
I sit by the window, hot tea in my hand, taking in the beauty around me....
Then the dream ended...
The nurse walked into the room
ready to take vitals, yet again...
I was brought back to the reality of my life, as I sit lifelessly in the wheelchair
Never shall I walk the beautiful earth again, the earth I took for granted for so many years
How I long for my body back, to stand, walk, run, love...  
I had it all, but didn't know it...
*In one second my life changed forever
One horrible night
Nothing will ever be the same
because of that one horrible night.
215 · Feb 2015
Rainbow in the sky
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
The sky was taken over by orange and red
Only one thing went through my head
How I wished I could fly
Like a bird, to that rainbow in the sky
215 · Dec 2014
My Lover
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
What is Love anyway...
It it lust
Passion
***?
Why are we always looking for "the one"
Instead of just having fun
The boyfriend
The husband
Oh how boring that sounds
I want a lover, who's sometimes around
No commitments, or till death do we part
No broken promises
Or broken hearts
I just want a lover
Just for today
Don't need any flowers
Don't want him to stay
What is Love anyway...
215 · Jan 2015
New Friend
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
The flight was full
I held my boarding pass
I sat and waited two hours, feeling like an ***

Traveling alone again, what would people think?
I have no friends, or maybe I stink

I really don't give a **** what they say
I'm going away, I'm going today

I get in my seat
Waiting for our take off
Sitting next to a man
With a terrible cough

I just want to sleep
But he won't shut up
Telling me his life story
I've heard enough!

I close my eyes
He continues to speak
He just won't stop
As I attempt to sleep

I wake up a few minutes before touchdown
The man is still talking
There was no one else around

He's been talking to me this entire time?
I guess I found a new friend
So I'm ending this rhyme
214 · Jan 2015
Lost Love
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I’m not happy
I’m extremely mad
I just lost the best thing I ever had

It amazes me
I really don’t know
How I could have ever let you go

I think it’s time to take my pill
You’re not coming back
Life’s lost its thrill

So where do I go from here?
I have no idea
I’m full of fear

I don’t want to go on
Without you by my side
I would do anything, swallow my pride

You’re not coming back
You’re not going to call
I ******* it all up
I’ll just sit here and bawl
214 · Jan 2015
When
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I’m just sad
Not angry, not mad
I’m worthless it’s true
I guess that’s why I’m blue
Will I ever smile again?
I wonder if I will, I wonder when
Down and *****
214 · Jan 2015
Hopeless
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I'm too tired to pretend
That I'm happy once again
It's been so long
I don't know what went wrong
You left me that day
I'll never forget
I couldn't believe it
I hid in my bed
For days and weeks
Which turned into months
I don't know how to go on
Knowing you're not coming back
I'll stay in bed
With a drink and some crack
I look at your picture
I still want you back
But like a magician
You just disappeared
Was I just dreaming, did you ever exist
It's been so long, my head is filled with purple mist
Hopeless
213 · Dec 2014
Play with Me
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Are you ready for me
Can you handle what you see
Don't you want to play all day
We can go all the way
Do you have the nerve
Do you have what it takes
Don't be scared
You don't have to shake
I'll be as gentle as I can be
Come be my lover
Play with me
212 · Jan 2015
I Write
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I do have a passion to write
Even though I'm not always so bright

I write from the heart
That's where I start

I may be no good
You may say I'm no poet
That's ok, I already know it

I found something I love
and I don't want to stop
Writing is my lover
I write till I'm shot

And then I'll pick up the pen
And start writing all over again

So if my writing bores you
I will not apologize
This is saving my life
What a wonderful surprise
212 · Feb 2015
Far Enough
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I need to get far away
How far is far enough?
Another house
Another state
Another country
But how do I get away from me?
Out of my skin,
So a new life can begin
How do I get there
Only one way, I fear...
211 · Jan 2015
My Ritual
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I'm coming down
Crashing hard
Need a fix fast
So this feeling won't last
The sweats already started
My hands starting to shake
Has this ritual become my fate?
I struggle to the car
Vision getting blurry
I shouldn't be driving, but I'm in such a hurry
I see the liquor store a few feet away
I stagger inside
Get enough for the day
A few shots to go
For the ride home
I don't want to share
I want to be alone
Alone with my lover
A bottle of wine
After a few chugs, I start feeling fine
What day is it? I have no idea nor do I care
I laugh to myself, I'm already impaired
211 · Nov 2014
Mine
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
What's the point of waking up
without you in my arms...
no, I'm not needy,
perhaps a bit greedy...
I want you all for myself
just you and me
That's how it was always meant to be...
If I can't have you
no one can
I'll cut off her lips
no more can you kiss...
I'll slit her throat
then watch her float...
down the river, how divine
my dear, my love, you will finally be mine!
209 · Nov 2014
Obsessed with Love
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
If love hurts so deep
Cuts like a knife,
Then why, oh why
Do I want it in my life
I desire it so, want it so bad
When all it does is make me sad
I sit here and cry
Since you said goodbye
You never even wanted to try!
Alone again
Me and my tears
Pop the champagne
Chill the beers
Never again,
I've said many a time
But I'll be back in love
At the drop of a dime
208 · Jan 2015
Just Done
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I’m done with love
I’m done with life
Don’t just stand there
Hand me that knife
You think I’m kidding?
I bet I’m not
They’ll be taking me out in a bag, not a cot
I really don’t care
No one could care less
If I turn myself into a ****** mess
So hand it over
I’m ready now
Maybe I’ll finally find peace somehow
208 · Feb 2015
Sweet Dreams
GailForceWinds Feb 2015
I’m tired of sleeping my life away
I know I might be missing a beautiful day

Some days I cannot get out of bed
I’m lost somewhere in my head

It’s easier to sleep than to be awake
You must then live life, awaiting the quake

I’ll close my eyes, and dream away
In my dreams, it’s always a beautiful day
208 · Jan 2015
Tears
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
I bathe in tears every day
Ever since you threw me away

The tears should help cleanse my soul
But my heart is drowning, I no longer feel whole

Goodbye my Darling
I'll sit here and wait
For the tears to end
To find out my fate
207 · Nov 2014
Fire and Ice
GailForceWinds Nov 2014
You got my heart going
My boiling blood flowing...
When I think of your touch,
it's almost too much..
I feel like I'm melting,
deep into your chest...
I'm weak in the knees
my heart is ready to crest...
I'm higher than the brightest star in the sky
when I think of you, I feel I can fly
I'm fire and ice when I think of you
but you don't know me...
so what do I do?
206 · Oct 2014
Wanting
GailForceWinds Oct 2014
Is it wrong...

to miss you
to want you
to think about you, day and night

your chiseled face
that childish grin
your naughty eyes


How I long for your touch, your rugged hands running along my back  

I can almost feel the callouses on your fingers, caressing the back of my neck

To hold you in my arms, like we were one unit, unbreakable...

To feel your sweet sweat intertwining with mine

but...

You're not mine
I'm not yours

So is it wrong?

I wait, a minute seems like eternity

I know you're out there, somewhere...

Can you feel me?
205 · Jan 2015
Today is the Day
GailForceWinds Jan 2015
Today is the day
I take back my life
And do something different
Put down the knife
I want to live
Joyous and free
I want to find the real, true me
I have a full day
No idea what it will bring
I have hope, and that’s enough to make me sing
Something positive for a change :)
205 · Dec 2014
Not our Time
GailForceWinds Dec 2014
Who are you
Who am I
You say I'm the sparkle in your eye
You say you love me
But words don't speak the truth
Actions do, I see none from you
We're not on the same page
not even in the same book
Should we let each other off the hook?
Stubborn, both you and me
We want what we wan't
We won't compromise
This really comes as no surprise
You go your way
And I'll go mine
We weren't meant to be
We missed our time
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