You came out of nowhere
It was a rainy Sunday
You made me feel like a princess
Just for the day

You talked of a future
Although we’ve never met
A date was made
We even made a silly bet

It was all cute and cuddly, I couldn’t get enough
A lot of sweet nothings, fun fluffy stuff

We had a rapport
Conversation was great
Little did I know
It would end up in hate

You said you couldn’t wait to meet me
The very next day
So you can imagine my surprise
When you just went away

The last text from you was a simple “sorry”
What does that even mean?
Was it all a big joke to you?
I just want to scream

So today is the day
Our big date was planned for
But you are not real
I’m just standing here staring at the floor

Who are you?

I wonder and wonder
What my purpose is here
I need to rid myself of ego
Let me make that perfectly clear

I work at my job, endlessly
Results are few, they seem useless to me

I want to do something different
Something that I love
I want to run away
Take flight like a dove

Do something I enjoy
And still pay the bills
It would be thrilling, it gives me the chills

Have I ever been happy, in my career?
I can’t seem to remember
The past isn’t clear

I used to have passion
Now I have none
I wonder if I’m the only one

Too young to retire
Too broke to quit
So I head to the office
With no laughter, no wit

Sarah hid in her bed
It was almost that time
She listened for the door
Tried to escape in her mind

Twelve years old, but mature beyond her years
She was tired of all this, all out of tears

She heard the door
Footsteps coming toward her room
Her body filled with awful gloom

Her father gets closer
He opens the door
She hides under the covers
She had chills to the core

He pulled down his pants
Climbed into the bed
She prayed and prayed, wanting to be dead

He started to touch her
Like every other night
But she couldn’t take it
She put up a fight

He was stronger than her
But she had the knife
She had to defend, her young broken life

He lie there lifeless
Finally dead
She smiled
Pulling the knife from his head

Her mother walked into the room
In shock and surprise
She felt out of her body
As she wondered why

Sarah thought she was finally free
Yet her journey has just begun
She didn’t care
She had finally won

She committed a crime, it's something very bad
She has no remorse, not the slightest bit sad

So now it’s time she has to pay
As she sits in the interrogation room
No more time to play

Make a deal, you stupid *****
Too much pride
Are you starting to itch?

Take your chances
The jury will know
Hope you like orange
Next stop, to jail you will go

Is anyone real?
Or is it all a game
In this online dating world
Everyone’s the same

They tell you what you want to hear
They’re going to make you theirs
Then they switch to ****** ****
To show how much they care?

We haven’t even met
Yes I’m a fun and not a *****
By now you’re just being rude

No I don’t want to see your package
But you text the picture anyway
Like that really is going to make my day?

I’m tired of being played the fool
I’m pretty smart, and not from school

I know when I’m being played
So don’t bother with me
Find another sucker
Please let me be

I had it all
The great career, big house, new car
So what happened to me, I had come so far

I lie here on the cold hard cot
Wrapped in an old wool blanket, torn and shot

My home is this shelter
It's been for a while
I don't remember the last time I smiled

The sun is rising, another day in Hell
Listening for the ring of the bell
To wait on line in the cold for food
I'll eat what I'm given no matter how crude

I'll take the bread and be grateful today
At least I have a place to stay
As hopeless as this all seems
I still hold on to some of my dreams

The day that I get out of here
Travel the world
Drink the best beer

I don't know how
I don't know when
But I'm going to start over again

Purple, pink, yellow, blue
All the beautiful colors are for you

I painted it myself
With a paintbrush in the sky
Guess you didn’t know that I could really fly

The grey puffy clouds I threw in last
They represent my unhappy past

I’ll throw in a bird, maybe a dove
Just to show you how much you’re loved

I know it’s only a sad cliché
But I’ll keep painting for you
Please don’t go away

I love you

He said he loved me
A million times over
I felt like I found a four leaf clover

I should have known
It was too good to be true
But I couldn’t resist his eyes so blue

It wasn’t real, it was all a lie
Now I sit here and want to die

There are others out there
Feeling the same
Feeling stupid, feeling great shame

He took all my money
Every last dime
I didn’t know he was committing a crime

Now I am alone
And totally broke
No one can find him
He disappeared like a ghost

I’ll go on for now
But will never forget
The way he betrayed me, the way we met

The sad thing is
I miss him so much
I must be insane
I know it was never love

She sat at her computer
Waiting for her food
Where is the Pizza guy?
She’s no longer amused

Then it came
A knock on the door
She ran to open it
Skating across the floor

It wasn’t the Pizza guy
He was no one she knew
She had no idea what she should do

He forced himself into the room
She suddenly felt filled with gloom
He forced her down onto the bed
Took the pillow and covered her head

She was waking up in the emergency room
The Pizza guy found her, naked and bruised

She knew she was *****
Didn’t know what to do
Her life had been changed forever
That much she knew

I’m always surprised
When I wake up to a new day
I don’t know when I started feeling this way
Some days it’s a blessing
Some days it’s a curse
Either way, I feel ready to burst
I open my eyes, still amazed
I made it through another day
I should be happy, ecstatic at best
But I continuously feel like I have no quest
I don’t get it, I don’t understand
I want to know what is the Lord’s plan
I know He has one, and it shall be revealed
Only then, will I be healed

Am I selling my soul
For a little attention
Still looking for love
Or someone with a pension

I don’t know anymore
I’m tired and confused
This life of mine
Leaves me less than amused

I want to do right
Not settle for less
But isn’t less becoming my best?

I have to settle
I don’t know what else to do
Everyone does it
Don’t you?

The alarm went off, playing her favorite song
She hit snooze again, knowing it was wrong
There was nothing she’d rather do,
Then stay in bed all day
With her young lover, they’d cuddle and play

The alarm was relentless
She had to get up
When she looked over at him
He was refilling his cup

Did he sleep at all?
Has he been up all night?
He’s still drinking,
Is that right?

He staggered over to the bed
looking all shook up
His face a tint of green
Was he going to throw up?

Living in the fast lane
Is it pleasure or is it pain
Doesn’t seem to matter
As long as you can’t feel
Hiding in your bottle
Where nothing is real

So much for the cuddling
So much for this day
She jumped in the shower
She had to get away

She left her apartment
He was passed out
What would she find tonight
She really had no doubt

How can she help him
It’s not even love
It’s just pure compassion
From the Lord above

I don't take life too seriously
more like popcorn and cotton candy
My writing is raw and somewhat simple
Not real acne, just a pimple

Funny sometimes
And sometimes very dark
An awful lot to say
About a broken heart

Sometimes happy, sometimes sad
Somtimes very angry and  mad

Ill always find something to write about
Whether it's the ocean or love or a case of the gout

I'll keep writing, I'll never hold back
Unless they take me off my Prozac

I’m looking at you
Staring in your eyes
Such a beautiful blue
With a hint of surprise

What are you thinking
What’s on your mind
I’d love to know
So I could make you mine

I want to know you
Deep into your soul
So I can love you
And make you feel whole

I’d take care of you
Support whatever you do
I’d never judge
Or disappoint you

Give me a chance
To love you my dear
I won’t let you down
There’s nothing to fear

I know you’ve been hurt badly, so have I
I’d never do anything to make you cry

I only want to make you happy
Share a life with you
We can start over together
A lifetime brand new

The sun shines through the slats in my blinds
Bright and beautiful, with a melody from my wind chimes

Warmth spreading throughout the room
Like a blanket of serenity, no place for gloom

How I love the sun
Even on the coldest of days
A blanket of fluffy clouds
Creating a spectacular haze

These are the days to cherish and savor
For the storms will come, sharp as a razor

I wait for the rainbow, it surely will appear
Along with the sun, and a sky so clear

I close my eyes and all I can see
Is a beautiful day in front of me

I woke up this morning
To a brand new day
Feeling light as a feather
Joyful and gay

The sky is a portrait
Of red, blue and grey
Such a beautiful sight
On this beautiful day

The future looks bright
For the first time in a while
I actually woke up today with a smile

I pray that my life will start turning around
I’m picking myself up off the ground

Starting fresh, a new attitude
A new pep in my step, a new positive mood

Life is good, just for today…

I’ll never forget my very first kiss
It was better than ice cream, it was total bliss

When his lips touched mine
I didn’t know what to do
They were soft and gentle
Like a soft mist of dew

I felt kind of funny
A little bit giddy
Then I felt his tongue
My head got a bit dizzy

It felt like an hour, no more like a day
That his tongue was in my mouth
Wanting to play

He’s obviously comfortable and has done this before
I don’t want to seem awkward
or like a random cheap *****

It’s only a kiss
I keep telling myself
Am I enjoying it, I don’t know
I feel like a character in a game show

It finally ended
Our mouths did unlock
He looked at me
I was overwhelmed with shock

He must have seen the look in my eyes
He grinned and then to my surprise
He kissed my cheek and took my hand
I felt like a princess in Disney Land

Who am I?
How dare you ask
Don’t you remember me?
I’m part of your past

You thought I forgot
All those things that you did
Or I didn’t know the things that you hid

I’ll never forget the day I saw you
Your hair was so blonde, your eyes so blue
I fell in love from that moment on
Until the day you were forever gone

But you stand here now
You don’t look the same
What a waste, what a shame

Do you know who I am?
I’m a superstar
You can see me on Big Screens near and far

So look at me know, I’m doing just fine
As I watch you do another line

I can’t be angry anymore
You’re just a ****** and a *****

Of course you don’t remember me
You can hardly stand, I doubt you can see

I’ll pray for you and pray for me
And for the way things turned out to be

I’m so **** funny
I’m so **** great
Then why am I sitting here alone in hate

Hating the world
Nothing is fair
Hating on men
Hating the air

Why be alive
One more day
For what I ask
Take me, I pray

But I keep waking up
Over and over again
Asking the same question
When Lord, when….

I don’t mind the thought of growing old
I just don’t want to do it alone
No family, no friends
No lover, no home
My last days on earth
Will be me, all alone

I never thought it would end this way
I thought I was something, back in the day
But here I sit, wrinkled and grey
With absolutely nothing to say

You ***** *******
You played me like a fool
I didn’t even notice
You played by no rules

Get what you want
Whatever it takes
Broken hearts along the way

You had me believing
You loved me so
How can you just pick up and go

I cried myself dry
Not a tear left to be found
As I sit here, just a lump on the ground

Step over my carcass
I’m just about dead
All I need is one good kick in the head

Do it already
I cannot go on
This time I mean it
I’m way too far gone

I’m selling my body
I’m selling my soul
Searching for the *** of gold

What’s over the rainbow
Does such a place exist
Or only in my dreams, a hazy mist

I want to believe there has to be more
I deserve better, I’ve been keeping score

I want to be loved
Unconditionally
Is that too much to ask
Or is it a fantasy

I can’t go on telling lies
Having *** with no ties
I pretend its ok, I’m having fun
But I always end up crying when it’s done

I’m selling my body
I’m selling my soul
But there will never be a *** of gold

You promised me the world
Once your wife died
You couldn't wait for that day
So we could start new on our own way

Now she is gone, and so is my lover
But where are you
Hiding beneath the covers

You thought you were losing me
Maybe you were
I left him for you
Though you were still with her

I'll never know if it could have worked out with him
You came swooping through and ******* up my life again

Where are you now?
You cannot commit
I left him for you
And now I have ****!

I need to get away as fast as I can
Drag myself out of this Hell that I'm in

I really don't know when these feelings started
All I do know is I'm broken hearted

I'm drowning in these feelings, they won't go away
I'll continue to run until I find love someday

My desire...
Engulfs me like fire

I can't run away from the way I feel
My desire is stronger than steel

I may be wrong to want you so bad
You were the best thing I ever had

My desire runs deep
Deeper than the sea
All I want is for you to love me

My desire has no boundaries
It won't go away
I'll keep loving you
Each and every day

My eyes are open
But I cannot see
All the abuse you’ve been doing to me

You say you’re sorry, and I say ok
Even though I know it shouldn’t be this way
What kind of power do you hold over me
That I cannot run, I cannot flee

You tell me you own me
And this I believe
I think you would **** me
If I tried to leave

They tell me there are shelters
For women like me
Somehow you’d find it
I’ll never be free

You tell me you love me
It won’t happen again
Until later that night
This will never end

You buy me flowers
The very next day
What can I do, what can I say
I say a quick thank you and go to my room
Knowing what’s coming
I’m filled with dark gloom

I hear the footsteps coming down the hall
I try to hide, but trip and fall
You come in the room, roaring mad
I can feel that this time is going to be real bad

You come towards me
Fists ready to go
I can’t go through this again
This much I know

I grab the lamp next to the bed
Smash it violently over your head

You fall to the floor
Blood everywhere
I feel calm, not at all scared

I pick up the phone
Call 911
And think to myself
What the hell have I done!

The tapestry was hung perfectly on the wall
Telling a story of kings and queens standing tall
Unicorns and castles, green rolling hills
Everyone happy, not a drop of wine would be spilled
People dancing in ballrooms
White horses carrying Shining Knights
Through streets where crowds cheered
All through the night
A perfect woven fantasy taking over the room
Hanging strong and proud, taking away my gloom
I began to melt into the woven cloth
Maybe here I would find my troth
I wanted to stay in this fantasy
A piece of the tapestry I wanted to be
I look at the majestic work of art
I feel the power pulling at my heart

I feel blessed today to just be alive
Thankful and grateful
No need to hide
I've been so self centered
Always dwelling on me
It's time to wake up
And focus on thee
I'm not alone
I cannot forget
You're always with me
I shall not fret
You've carried me this far
I trust in your strength
Sometimes I forget
I need always keep the faith
*
Amen*

I look out the window
At the beautiful blue
Not a cloud in the sky
Why am I thinking of you

Trees are bare
They’ve lost all their leaves
The air is crisp
The ground is starting to freeze
Why am I thinking of you

Light fluffy snow covers the ground
Little footprints of animals scattered around
I stare out the window
At this beautiful day
And wonder why I would throw it away

I should be happy, but feel so blue
Why am I thinking of you…

The moon and the stars
Light up the sky
So beautiful they sparkle
I wish I could fly
I’d fly to the moon, float through the stars
Safe and secure, no more hidden scars
I can watch the dawn
Of a brand new day
From up here
Far far away
No one can touch me
No more hurt or pain
I’ll stay up in the stars
Tears falling like purple rain

I'm so tired of trying
Exhausted from crying
Is this all there is
What's my purpose in life
I don't know if the answer is held in this knife
I don't have a purpose
I'm a waste of space
Breathing in air
It doesn't feel fair
People look happy
That'll never be me
I pick up the knife
To set myself free

I have to run
It's who I am
Need to break away
To another land
It's never enough
I always come home
Feelng good for a day
Then back to alone
I don't know how to stop
I must get away
I hope to find what I'm looking for
Somehow, someway

I’m done
With the *******
I’m done with the lies
I’m done with the tears flowing out of my eyes
I want to be happy
That is my only goal
To be happy
Before I lose my soul
I’m done with worrying about being alone
I need to embrace it
Pick up the phone
People do love me
Or so they say
It’s enough to keep me going
For another day

It took a long time
To be happy for you
When I hear you're still with her
I’m not quite as blue
I really ******* up
Look at me now
Stupid nasty girl
Go take your bow
I know it is right
You and her
It was never meant to be
You and me
It doesn’t make it easier
But I’m trying, I am!
She just seems so sweet
Like strawberry jam
It makes me sick
The cuteness she portrays
Maybe it’s real?
I want to drown her in the bay
She’d make one good looking corpse
Covered in mud and in slime
What the hell is wrong with my mind!
I’m happy for you…

When did I become a spider
Caught in this insane web
Of darkness and loneliness
Strands of beautiful silk in irregular arranged threads
Living my life with sick thoughts in my head
I catch my prey
In the beautiful spiral of sticky thread
They never see it coming
Soon they’ll be dead

I cannot see
I can’t make a sound
I lie here naked on the hard frozen ground
Wondering if I’ll ever be found
How did I get here?
I have no idea
I hardly remember that last sip of beer
That is when the blackout began
I do vaguely remember a tall handsome man
The last thing I remember, he led me out of the bar
I think he took me straight to his car
After that, it all goes grey
I don’t know where I am
Only thing left to do is to pray
I said I would never do this again
Broken promises, will it ever end….

I've fallen
Like dead leaves in autumn
A fallen Angel
Who never had wings
A fallen bird
Who never could sing
A fallen plane
With no survivors
A fallen star
Full of fire
I need to get up
And fly again
High above the clouds
Until the end

Darkness surrounds me
Like a room filled with black smoke
I cannot see, I cannot breathe
Did I die?
I don't feel alive
I feel no emotion
Neither happy or sad
I no longer feel pain
I no longer feel bad
What's happened to me
I've lost my soul
I can't crawl out
Of this deep dark hole
I'm still and lifeless
Just make my brain stop
There is nothing left of me
Except a broken heart

I sit  here alone in my bed
trying to get you out of my head
I wish and I pray
For that magical day
When images and thoughts of you
Are gone forever and I'm no longer blue
They say it'll take time
It's been over a year
I'm still in pain and in love with you dear
I have to get up and get on with my life
But everyday I feel a twist of the knife
Will this feeling ever leave my head
Or am I destined to be prisoner in my bed

I could picture the chalk outline
Yellow police tape wrapped across the door
The first things I thought of
When I saw you there lying face down on the floor
I was paralyzed
Couldn't think, couldn't move
What the Hell was I supposed to do
My head was spinning
I couldn't think straight
All I could do is call out your name
I saw your head move
I ran to your side
You said you were ok
To my surprise
I helped you up
Then feel to my knees
I couldn't live without you
Thank God heard my plea

I write and I write
Until my pen has run dry
My hands are cramped
I'm too tired to cry
I don't care if I'm judged
Writing is my only love
Giving birth every day
For me it is the only way

I'm so sick of all the positive crap
Inspirational *******
You can do it
Be grateful
I want to scream "Stop!"
It's such a joy to be alive
A new day, a new opportunity
"Go to Hell!"
I've been there
Into the positive, inspirational hype
Pump myself up
To be let down again
One thing I'm positive about
Is that bad things happen
Every day
You can count on it
Don't preach to me
I'll never feel joyous and free

He had that crooked, ******* grin
Big, light brown eyes, with a sparkle of hazel
Thick brown hair that hits his shoulders with a seductive wave
Clean, chiseled face, beautiful as the sunrise
Tall, muscular body, glistening in the full moon
I sit, watching you from afar
Wondering if you'd ever notice me
Touch me
Kiss me
But you walk by
Without a glance
I know I'll never have that chance
You are... too beautiful for me

I'm coming down
Crashing hard
Need a fix fast
So this feeling won't last
The sweats already started
My hands starting to shake
Has this ritual become my fate?
I struggle to the car
Vision getting blurry
I shouldn't be driving, but I'm in such a hurry
I see the liquor store a few feet away
I stagger inside
Get enough for the day
A few shots to go
For the ride home
I don't want to share
I want to be alone
Alone with my lover
A bottle of wine
After a few chugs, I start feeling fine
What day is it? I have no idea nor do I care
I laugh to myself, I'm already impaired

Is it love or is it lust
What is to become of us
This is not how I expected my life to be
But here we are, you and me
It's not the way things were before
We've both had our struggles, but never shut the door
It's all too familiar, yet totally strange
We've both gone through such immense change
We felt like one a few years ago
Now our souls don't seem to mold
Together in presence, but not in spirit
It's time we talk, even though you don't want to hear it
It easier for you to keep things the same
But I am too tired and restless to play this game
I don't think it's love
I don't think it's lust
I just think the "us" has turned to dust

Here I am
Awake again
This time it’s only 1 am
What do I do?
Everyone is sleeping
Or just getting home
I’m wide awake
So I’m writing this poem
**Goodnight

Despair has been my only friend
She visits me again and again
This relationship we have
Has to come to an end
I’m tired and worn
“I’ll make her go away”, this I have sworn
But she is so real
So close and familiar
Without her, how will I survive?
I don’t know, but it’s time to say goodbye

Today is the day
I take back my life
And do something different
Put down the knife
I want to live
Joyous and free
I want to find the real, true me
I have a full day
No idea what it will bring
I have hope, and that’s enough to make me sing