You become a man
You are told what a man is supposed to do
You question the legitimacy

meanwhile it paces
and closes in
so you accept it
as imperative
as fate

in that muddy existence
of ebb and flow
you've denied the man
for a character

you're not as big a fan of him as you thought you would be
so you burn the facade in zazen
now you're looking for the remnants of yourself
and you've never felt so ******* alive

in hindsight
   u often say
     to yourself
         there was something
                           i could have done
                                                to stop this

                                                 over
                                                 and
                                                 over

                                                          again

Slice and chop into the dirt
exacerbate into the earth
Pillow-lined: the metal slate
My mental state triggers a string
that plucks at the guts
and resonates up, scraping

The ventral pull of innards
Takes my head down with it
As I listen to syllabic
'Toungue-and-Bleek'
No talk of god lifting the weak
Only if mortals sleeping

'Cept the thing, is that,
mortals are all I've seen
This lucid dream
is my home
This sweet by-and-by
is all I've known

We grow together
We grow apart
We grow alone
We take these pills to take us home

Yet when we're rolling in our beds
all we ever fear is death
Accept the fact we are alone
Close our eyes and dream of home

All blurred grey
Here lying as one
with the floor
Surrounded by the fruits of
that other place

The Underbelly that No One Ever Knew

Emerging from a daze
on into a hole
that I've stepped in
and realized
I would remain in
In due time

Thinking back to my earliest memory
Tracing lines with as much
a furrow as I'm capable of
Trying to figure out how I got here
Praying that I will wake up
                This Time

When I slipped into sleep
flattening the frostbitten blades
that liquify under my body
the creeping amperage of aches
distract me from exposure

When he said 'It ain't easy out there'
he didn't envision blood curdling screams
Vivid nightmares that would pop me off my cardboard mattress
The ever common theme of falling
hoping I would hit the gelid side street

The path is singular when succumb to tunnel vision
in a gritty simulation I carry light
wallet, knife, and the daunting magic meter
In the romantic beginning, I was Aristippus twice removed
sailing on an escape route, against the grain until the end (at least)

Lost in the clips til I was lost to this
Beside myself; come tell me what eats you
Tell me why and how
your existence was shaken

When nuclear family detonates
we are left here in ceremonial garb
with no hands to pick up the pieces

22 versions of a song about a ghost
Alabaster on a pitch black backdrop
Where sleep once resided
entropy strives through every pore
As if you are forcing me to live
O Holy Ghost
There is only pity in the pious
So I briefly hold a moment
Know it means much more
Than the infinite possibilities