Today I must go in deeper for shelter
I have no option but to furrow and dive
into my own skin
Today I must go within

If you need strength take mine
and if you need heart
borrow some of mine
you will be alright

Be still waters
do not be late day break
be with me dear beloved
as I make my way through the day

I tried my best, and even more
but who can compete with time
or with silence

It is just that when I close my eyes I see purple and I
understand that we must not feel disconnected for our souls that is definition of a life squandered


It is just that purple was my grandmother’s favorite color
and I remember her singing to me
and I remember sleeping overnight over
over a stiff hospital chair
the times after being released from the hospital when I would sit with her for half an hour and gently peel off the medical tape- when skin is old it is very gentle and it takes tenderness and warm water to soften the glue


It is just that the world can have my love
and my life
and my disguise
it just I see purple when I close my eyes
and  I am done

and beginning
at the same time

My wish is to be regarded as human. My gift is to be human.

It is gone like the river
everything including I change
sand through my hands
gone

no grasping of resisting anything
or we resist life
and when we resist we suffer

Some days I do not feel as strong
So I bring my left arm up,
fold it and on tilt my head left;
I lean on my own palm for now

I will slowly wake and decide that the day is beautiful and that it presents me with opportunity
that it is another great gift one is given
and that I should never forget that much
that quickly

I get to listen and be taught by living
masters in my craft
I am amongst the youngest between them
I am there to soak up it
again
I take cement to cloudy city days
and break all expectations places on me
as I create the path no one thought could be carved out


It is not my time yet it is theirs their blooming flowers mine, ours, the world’s to appreciate

but it is indeed my time to learn
to sit in a kindred embrace of the art of life
the divinity that language can point to
it is my time to stir world in my belly

Thank you for loving me even if you never kissed me
thank you for existing even if it is not here next to me
Thank you, and I wish you well
I wish you comfort and a full heart
I wish you love and I wish you great joy

You are as bright as any star and in my eyes your, you have still got so much left to give the world and I hope you never forget, even when the going gets tough

Know that every stone of love that was stacked for you is still there
–sturdy–it’s presence enduring

from the time you were a child
to the time you began stretching out of your jeans and outgrowing your pairs of shoes  

To the very first white hair that grew
–almost suddenly-–without you realizing
so much time had gone by

all the love that was given stays
holds residence in your body
Hold a home in your being
is never part
and is forever your gift

I surrender to the peace of love
no control
no need to change things
no need to be fearful

only the need to learn how to love more deeply

Some days I feel you, right in the center of my chest. I do not know how else to describe it.

When I smile there are beautiful lines under my eyes
and I do not want to hide them

I bear with great joy this life of mine

It is just that I want to continue to grow
throughout the entirety of my life even when it hard
it just that I don’t want to abandon myself
or stand in my own way
I just want to try consistently until I leave this form
I just just want be truer to myself and love deeply this precious, precious life
I would never jump ship I am committed in the small things which are truly the core of all of me

May you be well today
an ocean of distance does not reduce
a wish to rumble

so enjoy the vastness of this day
and the small but memorizing happenings of daily existence

You deserve calm

Cloudy weather cloudy mind

More practice is needed
I cannot let my thoughts run me over

I dreamt of a full room, something important was happening in your life, an opportunity or something you worked for
some sort of celebration
I was there just to say hello

I halt my jogging to stare at the moon

I forget the moon is a floating rock  is suspended in space
how marvelous everytime I remember

“I am not going to be salty; I going to be sugar” that’s my motto for the day. :)

I wonder why you quit
like if you don’t deserve a win

with love for the little things that hold me up
this earth
that dark soil
This mount of well earned tenacity and gratitude

with love i behold everything that makes me up

My heart is warm and my love is not a sin
my love is blessing that makes the flowers grow
and lifts life from the ground
my love is a warm breeze
and I cannot go on thinking my love destroys
or that it has got a bad scent

My love is profound and above all it is a gift
tender and gentle
lovingly finding spring even in winter

I wish to love this world with everything I have got
to be unyieldingly –the coming of spring
just as by nature I am the end of December

The start of the circle and
the end of the circle
are just ideas (perspectives)
both just the circle

The flesh and bone my home
the organs and palpitating heart that is before me the one I should look upon with eyes of appreciation
“Look at you and that shine in your eyes” “look at you and all those years that have opened up your smile”

Look at life, how dear it is
how I wish to ripen my blood and the creases of my eyes with wisdom of truth

this momentary mass awake moving through the bead maze

May there be a warm fire and a hearth you can sit at. May the preciousness of who you are linger always. I see so much beauty in you; may you always see it too.

My mouth might be shut, but let all of life discretely carry hints of my wishes to your door , and bring you daily joy.

Periodically I crumble
rumble the earth like the faults lines where tectonic plates meet

Today while riding the subway cart I thought “I am scared to open my heart to him again”
and then I thought “maybe he is too”
but I don’t want to be scared

So I start slow, one small step at a time
that way I will not rush or misunderstand

I love to see how life flourishes
everywhere it finds a way to thrive
I love looking at the same people with new eyes
I love getting older. I love forgiveness and I love that we are all
not the same

Come sit with me on a bench
I long to ask you how you have been
but we could as well just sit in silence
and that would be enough

The salesman stood in front of the poet and tried to sell her words
what a sight

The day has been so long my dear friend
I have yet to answer the Stars with my prayers

Do not worry
all becomes lost in that ocean of thought today just feel the wind and sun
your nature is that of calm

I empty my pencil case over the wooden surface of my table it is time to pour out all the colors and use them to scribble
to jot down and dream something lovelier

Three people paint the subway station with life
the horn announces that the next train is coming bound for the seoul

Light of mine
I hold on dearly to you

Metaphorical winters
are worse than any sub zero days

Warmth
glinting of the soul
I embrace you with both my hands
and I give this living all I have got

It was so hard to get here
so many months
so many obstacles
I fought so hard, dug my nails deep into
perseverance
that now, I do not know how to feel
I just know that for tonight
I must close my eyes, rest my body
and sleep

I want silence.
I want the sounds of the wind and the leaves to be the only music I hear. I want my friends’ voices to be the light posts I stand under.

I want like all summer wishes to turn into Fall. A deciduous.

Let there be beauty
Let there be forgiveness
Let there be renewal

I have started replicating old Korean paintings of desks
I look at each line so precise but different from the others; each has got its own charm

I am ready to run with the wolves
I am not undecided
I am absolute and solid in the steps I take
I came with others into this world
who too
  cannot understand why is it a man is   unequal
  why gender constructs
and why we treat earth like a *******
why we accept what we could change

Timber wolves howling

in the winter of our era we breed, breed new life

The quiet is my friend.
It allows ample time to think.
It hands me back to myself.

I care...
slowly from below the grass I care that trees grow
that everything flourishes
that you are surrounded by love
that this lifetime be kind
that our dreams
that art
feeds reality

Failing in the wind you were more than that
what the spark of you
ever present my women you bore a belt of bullets

and if I were to tell people I come from women who bore guns who fought in revolutions
a lovely Adelita
my lovely great aunt

how wild a heart
How strange a women they would  think  you were
What choice did you have but to sing a song of rebellion and to sing a song of war
I am  lucky that I get to be gentle and sweet
Drunk walking back from a bar
Having drank  a whole bottle of Chardonnay with friend whose family lived through war and moved out of Sierra Leon

How lucky I am to be able to have the option to be gentle and loving

Great aunt, we are of the same tree

I get to spend more time alone figuring out
what makes me tick
rearranging thoughts, visions of life and
getting lost in streets that seem older than me
opportunities to ponder life and live it are my companions
I find them agreeable, even mysteriously charming

“How beautiful we are “
i carry this sentence tucked in my coastal
in case I forget
how feet and how lungs move the way butterflies flutter in time

It is good to lose sadness on a long walk and find serendipity attached to a piece of bread to find the divinity and the magic  of life that follows when we close our eyes and steer toward the direction that calls to you.

May there be more room for joy
and more room for fulfillment
May there be surprises that raise the spirits high
May there be years that take your breath away while watching the sun fall below the skyline and set

I should think more.

It is easy to forget we matter
but keep it in your eyes’ line of sight
don’t lose it among the crowd

wake up feeling full of your ever present worthiness