We talk about our cultures and I tell them I come from very expressive and outwardly loving ones
that I am hugged and kissed on the head by my older cousins male or female
that even now immersed in a different culture
when I come to consider someone a really good friend, I want to hug them and kiss them on the cheek
that I tone myself back so much!
that I was taught to be loving and direct
That I want to dance when I hear some music! Dang! Like I really, really, really wanna groove
That I struggle with perception here
because instinctively I feel:
that to not be warm
feels like someone is intentionally
being cold: a sign of indifference
and to not be direct
is intentional disrespect :
seen as if you are wasting someone’s time on purpose by beating around the bush
that I always have to stretch myself to try and understand
that I must give up my notions of what is okay
and give up what something as simple as outward displays of affection or directness mean
It means pulling myself at the seams and seeing what remains underneath all I was taught beneath the performance dance these cultures schooled me in
their religions, their power systems, their moral codes, their values
what is underneath is truly me
just as human as any other
same same in every part of town
and in every corner of the world