Your words have a beauty
A cadence
A joy
A realness
A sorrow
A sadness
A joy
Can I drink tequila
In Mexico
Instead?

There are times
when life invades
our thoughts
Assuages
our best
intentions
falls away
from who we want to be
There  are times
When life
Shouts louder
Than
Who we set out
originally
desperately
set
out
to
try
to
Be
Sorry

Baby steps, she said
My sweet dying Mother
Upon her unmade bed
Baby steps, she said
instead
I take huge wide dangerous
Leaps
Into the world
ahead

I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
Desperately dialling  home
to  someone who might
answer
at  this late hour,
caller unknown
I’m desperately dialling
I’m desperately dying
I’m stuck in a corner in Paris
totally alone
desperately clinging to life on my
own

You are perfect for me
just promise
you will never
ever
tell me
don’t say it out loud
Don’t say
that knowledge
is absolute and
way way
too much
For a little old fashioned
small time girl
Like me
Or maybe.........

The world is
not about
you and me
Much as we try to make it be
It’s bigger
and better
and about way
more important things
Than
simply
You
And
Me
and who we are desperately trying to
be

If I had to see
Right through
Anyone
In the world
Tonight
Without doubt
It would be
You

Sometimes I do wonder
Who you are
Where
You are
Imagine if we could just
meet
for a beat
I think our flesh
would refresh
Our
minds
And leave our
many doubts
Behind

I am trapped
By my secrets
Silenced by my guilt
Disappointed by my lies
Deceived by your eyes

I will leave now
Quietly
Without fuss
But I want you to know
I am leaving
Just for us

Do not fear
do not rise
I will not linger
beyond sunrise
my words are spent
our  life unkempt
my love for you
religious
and
redempt

You are way
too small
Too tiny
too insignificant
to have anything at all to say
You can barely form a word at all
Mama
Dada
Play
What crazy first  words
you
first
say

Well
Thank you for asking
I would like to dance
Very much decoy
Lead on
sweet boy

My life fell away from me
last night
I saw it fall
but didn’t reach to call
I watched it
tumble
and fall
crumble
stumble.
before stall
but
never once
did I ever
ever
feel the need
To catch
it
mid fall

He didn’t ask
And I didn’t say
I didn’t play
and he didn’t stay
our life fell into
unfolding
dismal
decadent
desperate
soul destroying
Decay

I remember
birthdays
tiny small blond little girl
birthdays
tall glamorous  blond big girl
birthdays
now
faraway distant missing you
lonely horrible make do
Zoom birthdays

I can stand up
But I will never stand tall
I can speak out
But I will never reach all
I can stack bricks
But it will never be a wall
That we can stand against
so nothing matters
At all

Evening falls like navy blue silk
sublimely gentle
upon our skin
Touching gently
the person within
Seeking answers
we could never
Begin

I see you flying
You think I am lying
Have I ever?
I see you
Flying
Do you think
I am lying?

I am asleep
In this
That much I will admit
Dazed
Crazed
slightly amazed
But
mostly
ghostly
I am honestly
mostly
asleep
In this

Why is nobody wandering
Lonely as a cloud
In my world
Why is about guts and pain and strain
Why are there no host of golden daffodils
Hovering
Just beneath my cloud?

You are fragrant
Because you are young
You walk through life
Like you belong
I want to stop you
Just for a beat
Tell you
The devil
Hovers
Beneath

Know this
That I have tried
If you know nothing ever again
In your whole life
Believe this
Know this
That
I have honestly
desperately
tried

we rushed from the warm inside
to the cold outside
of a New York City night
Hailed a cab
then caught sight
of a lonely figure
slumped in the night
Someone help
Someone said
she’s in trouble
her soul is dead
and I thought
it is indeed
but what makes her different
from everyone else
I’ve met
Tonight

I believe
at some point
you’ve  got to decide
Whether to shout out loud
Or run home and hide

This is probably
The best that I can be
yes, this is probably
it for me
I would like to offer more
and more
and more
even up the score
but in all honestly
this is probably
The best that that I can be

She is old now
And says things she doesn’t mean
Although I remember when she was younger
And said things that were mean
She is old now
And calls me late at night,
Although I remember when she was younger
And scared me with her might
She is old now
And tells me she loves me
Although I remember when she was younger
and said no one would ever love me

Let me leave you
as I found  you
happy and
unscarred

You cannot capture light
But darkness hovers
so available
so bright

If I could write the word
To make you fall in love with me
again
I would write it today
And tomorrow
Again
I would scream it from the treetops
Scrawl it on the walls
Again
If I could write the word
I’d be free as a bird
today
If I could write the word
to make you fall in love
With me .........again......

Before the sun rises
You show me the
Light

There are so many words
inside me
dormant
To light a match
might ignite
and burn
the whole world
down
tonight

Let us be quiet now
for a minute
Soften our minds
and our souls
Let us be blind now
for a minute
cherish our hearts
and our foes

This love is good enough for me
this love will more than see me through
I’m pulling up the shutters
taking off my shoes
this love
your love
totally
hands down
this love
is
way
way
good enough
for me.

Whoever you think I am
I am not
Whatever you think I say
I say not
Whenever you think you know
You do not
Whoever
Whatever
Whenever
Stop
turn the other side
Stop
Search
Listen

Your words pour over me like silk
smooth
easy
gentle to the touch
no matter they may be untrue
right here
right now
they flow like music
heavy intoxicating musk
smoldering like  lust

I am not now
who  I used to be
that  girl has died
I am not now
who I want to be
that girl has tried
I live here
in between
who you are
and we are
I live in the shadow
in the shade
ashamed
Yet unafraid

I am sitting here
wondering
If it is worth the effort
To go to the lovely neighbour’s  barbecue
And also why I spell the word barbecue
With a C and not a Q
probably
I think
most likely
It’s probably
just for
You

I think
I am so completely lost now
without your face
Your embrace
too far away
your smile distant
your words
nonexistent
your presence
forever
Omniscient

So
this I know
for sure
I know absolutely nothing
about nothing
But I will jump
bare faced and brave
into my knowing of nothing
and say
it feels really good
knowing absolutely
nothing
about you

I am more lost now
Than when you found
me

If I say nothing
and you say nothing
and we just  skim the outskirts of our
life
if we rise to a sun
we’re not brave enough to own
and we dance to a tune
we’ll never own
if we do it everyday
it might just be okay
if we dance long enough
if we dance
if we dance
convincingly
outrageously  
it may be
Yes it may be
maybe
It may be
just about
enough

Tell me what you you want me to say
And I will say it
on a loop
everyday
I guess it’s easier
This way
less pain
I’d say

Suddenly
Oddly
Weirdly
Bizarrely
I am
Back
In
The room
.

I have no words left
Seriously
I used them all up
Before I was three
Now they tell me
Be careful what you say
you are too old now
Be careful what you say
No one told me that
I would use all the free words
up
before
the age of three

People often ask me
Where am I actually from
think I was born right here
right now
in this moment
Unsure
where
I hailed from.

Here’s the thing
The world knows
right from wrong
and all of you do too
How did you all get so clever
While I’m still sitting here
Wondering
what to do?

Nothing here is of interest to me
Is there something terribly wrong with me?
I pick up my things
and sneak back home
Desperately hoping
I will never hear from
anyone of you
ever
again

Don’t write the words
just  for the writing
or for yourself
or anyone else
Touch them first
Feel them
hold them
cherish them
for a beat
Caress them
carefully
feel them
own them
love them
a little
then choose
very carefully
very cautiously
which ones
you choose
to release
and write

I am not who I set out to me
That much i will agree
is true
The rest about me is
purely fallacy
I am not that girl
I wouldn’t dare
and honestly
in truth
I actually
wasn’t
even
there
Truth is I was
at home
washing my hair
So there!