I just cannot write the words
that I want
cannot find them anywhere
so I won’t
I will leave it
and try again tomorrow

Forgive my insecurities
they are born
from my badly cracked heart

Dream big
if you still believe you can dream
otherwise
there is no point
and I have failed you.

I am looking in your eyes
and smoking  a cigarette
I don’t know which one
is more toxic
you
or the cigarette

the conversation around here
is a long time dead
no one mourned it’s passing

Do not drip feed me
your love
drown me in emotion
and over the top words
scare me with honesty
and silence

we have overstayed
our welcome
in each other’s lives

I am not saying that you lie
or calling you a liar
but I think
truth
might like a quick word
with you.

I see you
although
I desperately
look
the other way

Life asked
I answered
right question
wrong answer

Here is
a  very tiny small part of me
take if you will
just promise
to toss it back
before you leave
so I can catch it
mid air
and save
the little tiny best bits
of me

Words fail me
then I see
they fail you too

You flit lightly
through your life
yet fall heavily
on mine

The end came quicker
than either of us expected
I would have marked it
somehow
if I had known
not quite a party
but maybe
an inappropriate balloon?

Today surprised  me
I wasn’t
expecting
the sun!

I will only ever
fall back
as  far
as you
you can
catch
me

I cry my tears
inside
because
otherwise
they would stain
my lily white
disguise

Found this here this morning
carelessly flung
on the living room floor
fallen I fear
from one of our pocket’s
a random lie
left over
but ill begotten

I dis
appoint you
almost as much as
you dis
appear me
most days

I don’t need to know
the way home
I might not be heading
that way

sometimes
love stumbles
and sometimes
I stumble after it.

I know it’s late
and you need to go
can you leave a little of you
here
so I still feel you
near

Now , is the time
he said
take my hand
Now , is the time
I said
I  cannot be lead.

God, it’s raining hard tonight
most of it are pieces of my heart
don’t try to save them
as they splatter across your path
I have enough left inside me
it’s not quite
a bloodbath
yet

I dance every night
in vain

I don’t fit you anymore
truth be told
you don’t fit me either
we are weird jigsaw pieces
at the edge of the puzzle
the ones you can’t quite work  out
where to put
for ages
then suddenly
out of the blue
you see it
that’s where they go
the puzzle complete!!

I am exhausted
by the thought
that I might write
another line
transfixed by the man
who will no doubt
be my
decline

Let it lie
I know
I hear you
trust me
or not
what do I know
but just
for now
please
maybe
for a minute
let it go
let it lie
and fly.

Remember when you leave
the ones  you love
kiss their cheek
laugh a wave
say see you soon
remember
just remember
there is no guarantee.

I am not sure
what you want
of me
anymore
so
let me leave all
of me
laid out
bare
naked
upon your very
finely tuned
expensive
Manhattan
polished floor

You think this is the end
this is it for you
my god
You’re twenty five years old
buckle up , my lovely
the worst is yet to come
and the best.

And then
When there was no one
left in sight
I put out my cigarette
and said
Good Night!

I cannot mop up
all your sadness
but I will try
I cannot laugh loud enough
to silence your cry
I cannot dance long enough
to make you fly
but trust me
I will try.

All this
I am grateful for
All this
I hate us for

Big bits yesterday
fall into my
today
encroach  on
my tomorrow
making it impossible
for me
to stay.

I will leave it now
I will let it lie
I will close my eyes
if you admit the lie

When I was tiny
my father said
you have words at will
use them wisely
he said
they hold enough
power to ****

I have gathered up
all the little bits of me
the sharp edges
and the tiny shards
I have put them in this bag
right next to me
I won’t touch it
if
you don’t touch it
to
two
too.

How many leaves
are on that tree
he said
God, I don’t know
six billion and sixty three
I said
Nah
Just two
he said.

Sorry
is not big enough
for this
I know

Let me lie in between us
so I don’t have to
become one of
us

I have many many
friends
and a few of them
I suspect
are real.

Don’t fall asleep on me
I know you are tired
as am I
But please
don’t fall asleep on me
not now
If you do
I fear
we might never
ever
ever
wake up again.

Let’s dance
all night
let’s dance
all life!

The tiny bits of youth
you dripped fed
into me
on warm Manhattan nights
with laughter and wine
hit home
I am better now
actually
I know more than you now
Try me?

Are we just
two people
who have given up
on each other ?

I love you
mostly
because of
who I am
when you hold my
hand.

You left
without
conversation  
walked away
without
persuasion