I heard you came home. last night
or the night before
our town is a small town
news is never quite up to date
still
I heard you came home last night
and  I wonder
what the **** does that
feel like?

I see
you want me to applaud
your love
but
sadly I can’t
on this occasion
happily
I’m all clapped out

Millions of words
reign down upon my head
each day
if I could absorb half
I would be a hero
to myself
as it goes
I feel
the noise of too many voices
hurt my soul
create a hole
even I
cannot climb out of.

I see you now
in the cold light
of day
and I remember
how much
we have
forgotten

I think of them fondly now
in truth
I hardly knew my father
but I knew that he loved me
in truth
I was a little afraid of my mother
but I I knew that she loved me
in truth
just three of us left now
maybe we just tolerate each other
in truth
I know that we love each other  
in truth
like my folks always said we would.

all I want
is to find you
to know you
to be you
to understand you
to hear you
to have space for you
all I want
is for you
to understand me
to find me
to hear me
to know me
have space for me
all I want
is to know you
and for you
to know me too
and then
I think
we would never wage war.