since i was a little girl,
i've been a very good actress
earlier in life, i was a golden girl
way ahead than my peers, a shining over-achiever
good in being too much, too much unlikeable

in my teenage years,
i played the role of misery
with grey clouds hanging over my head
custom-made puddles beneath my feet
and hand-drawn cross-stitches on my left wrist

through the end of adolescence,
i starred in a star-crossed romance
in which i was a frustrating lover
the "always leaving others" lover
the "you will only understand my action when we're in our 40s" lover

now that i am a 2 years old adult,
i am acting like a lost child in a big playground
mind spiraling down the slide
shaky judgements on the see-saw
the fool climbing the monkey-bar

man, i am such a star...

Your flowers arrived
before you
you always like
to guarantee
a smile.

Morning makes its entrance
throwing sunlight
on an unslept bed
I stand a few feet away
throwing bouquets
at  an unloved life.

I remember the room
where we first met
I remember the room
hard to forget
I remember the room
your smile matched mine
I remember the room
perfectly in line
I remember the room
the feeling of fine
I remember the room
your heart leaving mine
I remember the room
the sharp decline
I remember the room
slow
sad
somehow
sublime .

I have already forgotten
every face that I knew
I have already forgotten
what was wrong
between me and you

I wish you had arrived
when I still believed in love
I wish I had met you
when there was still
space in my heart
I wish I had heard your song
when I still believed in melody

the world is on fire
with hurt and pain
bodies are building up
children getting lost in the mire
the world is on fire
with deceit and blame
the world is on fire
not a one amongst us
brave enough
clever enough
wise enough
enough enough
interested enough
to fan the flame.