it may hurt to be me
but it hurts more
to be me
with you.

Do you recall when love was lost?
not too sure myself
that country weekend with friends
comes to mind
we left the lovely pub to walk home
everyone was jolly
the route was dark but not for the first time
to the idilic cottage
with the lamps on
just before we went in you said
hang on
have I forgotten something
I’m missing something
for sure
were you missing her
I was.

somewhere
along the line
our life got lost
I couldn’t find it anywhere
although I searched
neither could you
God knows, I tried
you didn’t
I gave up
but if perchance
you find it
or even try
post  it to me
you have my address.

leave now
I know you need to
but I can’t go with you
although every part of me
wants to.

When did those little boy arms
that ran to me
full of joy and laughter
and wild abandon
straight into my arms
unquestionable love
when did those little boy arms become
strong enough to hold me
and save me?

when my heart bled words
I couldn’t voice
somehow you found them
in my garden or somewhere near
wherever I had dropped them
picked them up
and made sense of them
returned them to me
late night
in a song
I  had never heard before
until your voice made
perfect sense of me.

the power of us
the joy of us
the precious of us
the pure good of us
the easy of us
the lovely of us
the worth of us
the best of us
has somehow
become lesser
tangled
confused
and lost
somewhere deep in
the complicated and confused effort of
trying to be
just the two of us .


but still
I’m going nowhere
pour me another song
and I’ll sing you another heartache!