once you have it,
its like a shadow.
you can't outrun a shadow.
especially when that shadow's in your head.
you think things will get better,
they can't.

i finally found a friend who cares!
    no its too good to be true.
but, but she's not like the others, she's kind and sweet!
    ur delusional, that does not exist.
hello?
you were right.
it was too good to be true.

i feel a sense of dread
there are beings inside my head
they believe me to be undead
i think the monsters want me bled.

i told them i think something is wrong
they looked at me, smiled, and moved along.
i danced with one in the dead of night,
now they grip onto my mind with all their might.

I can’t move.
The weight is everywhere.
It presses into my chest
Like even the dirt want me to stop existing.

I screamed until my throat bled.
No one answered.
No one remembered.

I guess they moved on.

“But you’re fine right?”
My therapist ask naively
Yeah I’m fine
Instead of drowning
I’m floating in a ocean
Surrounded by dolphins
Maybe one day I’ll sink peacefully