Foogle: Favorites

Drown Me

4h Foogle

Abbott J Hardison

Drown Me

I am left yearning to drown,
When smothered in your love.
Breath, breath is optional,
I live off of your love.

Addiction, obsession, craving,
Need, you are need,
So I repeat the same words back to you,
Drown me.

#love #drowning #smothering #yearning #craving

4h Foogle

Still, I Try

4h Foogle

Immortality

Still, I Try

I can't close my eyes
tears gather.
I can't breathe
the air is stuck.
I can't gulp
my throat is tight.

I try to plant my dream,
but land is
barren

Still, I try.
Even my conscience
mocks me.

It’s that moment when giving up feels easier, everything is against you;
but you can’t, because giving up just isn’t you.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#depression #burnout #emotionalpain #innerstrength #hope #mental #struggle #silencealone #pressure #healing

4h Foogle

Bad side of caring

4h Foogle

Liana

Bad side of caring

"Why are you looking at me like that?"
He asks
It's because I want to hug him and tell him he's so so lovable
And that he is a boy
But I can't

"I'm happy you're writing again, but I'm sad for you"
I say
I want to cry for him
Take all the hurt
And I know that's crazy
Either way I can't
And I won't

The bad side of caring so much I suppose

I want to cry for other people often. This moment today though was hard because I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything to stop the pain. And it's not even socially acceptable to randomly hug people, so that wasn't there either. I don't know, but when it comes to my friends and loved ones I tend to be like this.

4h Foogle

RSD

4h Foogle

Liana

RSD

Every little rejection
Every "I can't"
"Maybe"
Feels like I opened my chest
Giving them access to my heart
And they took it out
Twisted it
And put it back in bleeding

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is something I've always struggled with, even as a little kid. I know rationally that they don't hate me and aren't truly rejecting me, but I just feel like absolute **** every time. I'm not diagnosed with anything, but it makes me feel better about myself to think it's something medical and not just me ******* and being dramatic. Also, it's quite precise to what I feel sometimes so I call it that. Idk but yeah. Love you all ❤️❤️❤️

4h Foogle

Found my people

4h Foogle

Liana

Found my people

I thought I'd never do it
That I was the only one in the universe like me
By I think I've finally found my tribe
And I think I've finally found my reason to keep going

Made some absolutely incredible friends lately on and off the website and I'm so grateful!!!!

4h Foogle

Meds

4h Foogle

Liana

Meds

More meds
And more meds
Keep growing and shrinking
Changing
But never helping
At least never helping enough
I don't think pills are the answer
I think I just need a new head
Or maybe itd be better if I were dead

4h Foogle

Death

4h Foogle

Liana

Death

"what do you wanna do, Liana?"
My mom asks me

"Death"
I respond

"Do you want to eat something?"

"No, I just want to die"

"What are you thinking about?"

"My death"

She laughs
Smiles
She doesn't understand
She doesn't want to understand I'm not joking
When I'm telling her

"What do you want to do tomorrow?"
She asks

"I don't want a tomorrow. I want to die"
I answer

She giggles
"That's not an option" she chuckles
She doesn't know

I'm not going to act on it as of now, but I crave it sometimes, you know? I feel like she doesn't get that I'm serious.

4h Foogle

Gaslighted

4h Foogle

Liana

Gaslighted

And after years of abuse
I'm still the one ending up feeling guilty
And wondering if he was right
And this was all just in my head

Sometimes

4h Foogle

Oh to be loved

4h Foogle

Liana

Oh to be loved

And I'm cold in my bed
Tired
Pillow covered in tears because that's where they're used to falling
And I just want to be loved

And I know I am by my friends
And my family
But I want to be stuck in someone's head
And I want them to rub my arm and make me a little bit less cold
And maybe have my tears land on their shoulder instead

I want to be the poem and not the poet for once