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Three Dr Peppers down
Yet not even close to a fraction of a Celsius
Three Dr Peppers down
But they only stir up dark thoughts of us
 3d Foogle
Lyle
summer is supposed to be fun
freeing and flying, shine and sun
but my summers have always been wrong
while other's are short, mine are too long
my summer is cruel, locked up with nowhere to go
I wish I could explain this to someone, but no one can know
that I feel like I'm imprisoned on top of this hill
summers are a bitter pill
 4d Foogle
lizie
i think i
used to
be a person
 4d Foogle
lizie
i slide the blade
s l o w l y
across my pale, soft skin.
it burns,
i don’t smile.
but it’s satisfying to watch
the blood pool in beads.
it hurts.
but it doesn’t hurt as much
as the pain i caused you today.
so i do it again.
 4d Foogle
lizie
sean
 4d Foogle
lizie
i’m only seventeen,
i don’t know anything.

but i know i miss you.
betty - taylor swift
 4d Foogle
lizie
you’re in the sky,
and i’m still here,
counting clouds
and minutes
until you land safely,
until you message me back,
and feel, again,
like the world makes sense.
 4d Foogle
lizie
green means go
but i hesitate.
because every green light
turns yellow eventually,
and i’ve learned to fear
what’s coming.

it’s not really about driving.
it’s just,
every time life feels good,
i’m already scared
of losing it.
 4d Foogle
lizie
i don’t deserve
the soft things.
not love,
not light,
not even quiet.

everything i’ve earned
is a lie,
and everyone knows it.
they just pretend they don’t.

i only deserve
what cuts.
and maybe
i always have.
 4d Foogle
lizie
summer with you
will be
forbidden meetings
and “tell me about your day.”
laughing in whispers,
loving in glances,
missing each other
endlessly and unforgivingly.

it will be
the ache of wanting more
and the sweetness of having enough.
murmurs of nothing across screens,
and talking in code,
listening to songs that only we understand.

it will be
the quiet promise
that we’ll stick together
in every way we know how.
new, different,
a little secret,
but still,
undeniably us.
 4d Foogle
lizie
“have there been any safety concerns
since last week?”
“no,” i lie,
hoping she doesn’t
see the truth
sitting heavy in my eyes.

“have there been urges?”
“yes,” i say,
truthfully,
but like i’m afraid she’ll flinch.

“why don’t you act on them?”
“because i’m not allowed to anymore.”
it was the truth,
just wrapped in a lie.

she smiles.
“that’s adorable.”
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