Some days I wake up and watch my smile fade
Look into the mirror pick apart the things I hate
The parts of me short of perfection the simple insurrection of the hate inside my heart that's slowly tearing me apart.
I hate my ugly smile, my boring brown eyes.
I hate how when I panic I fire out lies.
How my hair flops off to the wrong side
And how no matter what I try I can't swallow my pride
I hate my dimple to me its just a flaw despite those who call it cute
I think that my observations are far more astute
Yet people tell me daily that I'm a friend to go to
That I offer support when nobody has a **** clue
That I relate to everything and anything they go through
But all I see myself as is a failure that has hurt you.
I overcompensate every day for all the hate
The things inside my soul that have devoured me
Spit out my carcass and expected me to heal
That's now how damage works, can somebody be real?
The struggle we endeavor to try and find love.
Not even for another, even just our ugly mug.
A battle for confidence that leaves many to want
Because they focus on their  faux needs and not what they've got
I'm guilty as any other, loving myself is hard to do.
Maybe that's why I need you to love me too.
Remind me of the qualities so blind to me
Tell me all the good things that make you feel glee
The jokes that make you laugh, habits that make you smile.
Stand by my side, and love me for a while.
Doing it alone is a battle I can't win. But with you by my side, I can do anything.

Every breath an effort, every moment a pain
Every second another to drive me insane
My memories clawing at the back of my mind
Those who claimed to care, fleeing the horrors they find
Nobody can accept the darkness in ones heart
Not even if without them, they are torn apart.
Why is it when we need someone most there's nobody to call
A tree broken in a forest that will silently fall
I gave my life for others in vain
Nobody is there to do the same
So I fall unheard by those around
And with a single tear I crash to the ground
Knowing what's done is done, and cannot be changed
And with a final sob, my sorrow is exchanged
For a feeling of nothing, that bears far less pain.
The mask disguising my everlasting strife
But at least it's better then bleeding by knife
What else can you do, when you have no air.
Nobody to say they care
Nobody to hold you when times are tough
Nobody to call you a diamond in the rough

Why can't I stop crying?..... All I ever wanted was a reason to smile...  I gave it all so I could be happy, even if only for a while...
and yet, it never comes, so I sit here alone, dampening my sorrows with acts none can condone...

Memories eating me day by day
trying my hardest to be okay,
I just want the darkness to go away...
standing here, under stars so far.
Tell me who they are, tell me why do we go to the world instead
stuck to land unable to understand
why the stars can be free, but it's so impossible for me...
laying here wishing I was dead, all the insecurities rushing through my head
time and time again I will find memories will climb my spine
even when I try to look fine they eat me alive,
to the point I just want to dive off the tallest building I could find
just so the voices clear from my mind,
a moment of serenity for an eternity of darkness, all the pain and emotions I harness.
why is it like this? the world fighting me?...
What will it take to finally be free
free of the fear of not knowing what's next,
whether you'll find yourself, or just become another text
telling the people who care that you're never coming home
knowing that eternally they'll be alone
a hole in their heart to tear them apart.
wouldn't it be great, if no one had to leave
wouldn't it be great, if things were okay...

What is our purpose in life?...
What good comes from our existence, and why is life worth living… These questions overwhelm me every day, thoughts racing through my head as I try to find some sort of answer.
My insecurities crushing me like quick sand as I helplessly grasp for something to keep me from sinking, but my hands find nothing…
Just more emptiness attributing to the sorrow and pain that haunts my soul.
I know not what my purpose is, or even if I’ll ever hold value in this world.
I only know that I hurt, every moment of every single day, pain finds its way into my heart, and I don’t know what to do other then to sit and sob…
I just want to be the reason someone smiles, or to know my life was worth something… is that so much to ask for?...