My first love
My first real boyfriend

It was you,
all you.

Never trust a mirror,
for they always lie.
It makes you think
that your worth
can all be seen from the outside.
Never trust a mirror,
for it only shows what's skin deep.
You can't see how your eyelids flutter,
when you're oh so close to sleep.
It doesn't show what the world sees,
when you're only you.
Or how you're eyes light up,
When you're doing somehing you love.
It doesn't capture whenever you're smiling,
where nobody else sees.
Your refelection can not tell you
How much you mean to me.

They told us that the monsters
weren't under our bed...
but they forgot to mention
that the monster resides in our heads instead....

Your lies lured me in

They sounded sickly sweet

If only they were true

Maybe I would've stayed longer

Maybe I would never have walked away

Maybe we would still be together

But your lies stopped

I was no longer beautiful

I needed to lose weight

I was no longer your girl

I was your responsibility

I was no longer worthy of your love

I was only worthy of the truth

The painful painful truth

But no matter how painful it was,

I stayed

And I listened

Until one day you lied again

I finally saw through the facade of your lies

I no longer held onto the notion that I was nothing

I became myself again, well as much of myself that I could

I left you and never looked back

You called and texted, but I never answered

I finally had you out of my life

And I was going to be free

Until I wasn't

You showed up again

You sweet talked me into believing you again

This time it went too far

I believed you a little too much

So much that I'm now six feet under

In a way that's a good thing

It means that I don't have to hear your sweet lies ever again.

No other friend is quite like you,
No other friend could do exactly what you do.
No other friend could listen to my dreams,
No matter how weird it all seems.
You're the one who's there for me when I need a friend,
We're gonna be tight till the end.
We always have fun when we are together,
We always find something to do no matter what the weather.
No other friend could understand me like you do,
I don't know what I would do without a friend like you.

Dad,
Father,
many more names.
Step-dad
That's the one I chose.

I realize that you are more of a father than he is.
You are dad, Padre, father, paternal figure.
etc

I'd like to write,
but ehh...
I'll do it later.

Remember when we first did meet,
our hearts rejoiced and skipped a beat.
Remember our first kiss goodnight,
the hug we shared that summer's night.

Remember when we walked the beach
and all our dreams within our reach.
Remember how we used to be
when I had you and you had me.

Remember when we used to talk,
when we held hands and took long walks.
Remember how we spent our days
in warm sunshine and in the rain.

Remember when our one desire
was take a chance and ignite the fire.
Remember the times that made our hearts melt
and all of the passion and desire that we felt.

Remember when you looked at me
and saw the one you love and need.
Remember when you reached for me
and knew that we were meant to be.

Remember when our love was new.
Remember the day we both said, "I do."
Remember the journey we started together.
Remember our love was always forever.

Remember the promise we made together,
to love and to cherish and to care for each other.
Remember the promise in good times and in bad
and to make each one happy rather than sad.

Remember when you held our child
and rocked the baby when I grew tired.
Remember the treasured times
like these when love grew into family.

Remember when the world was bright,
when we would laugh and hold on tight.
Remember when our hearts were broken,
when times were tough and words unspoken.

Remember when we grieved our loss
with parents gone and feeling lost.
Remember when our love endured
the pains and heartaches of the world.

What happened to the life we shared?
What happened to a love so rare?
What happed to the kiss goodnight,
the warm embrace, the love at night?

Did it all just happen? How do we right the wrong?
I know that in my heart your arms I do belong.

Can we live our lives together just like it all began,
and can we hold and cherish each other and remember our love again

I suppose
I love my scars,
only because they've been there
through it all

When I look at you,
I see the many shades of home.

I see the dark blue of the midnight skies,
and the rich reds of Momma's pans.

I see the blank white of the laundry rooms walls,
and the black of my old comforter.

It's the shades that I see in you,
that let me love you so deeply.

Shadows are what haunt me.
Late at night,
when they cannot be seen.
Shadows are what haunt me.
Early in the morning,
when they stretch long.
Shadows are what haunt me.
Not the kind that can be seen.
Shadows are what haunt me,
my past,
and my future.

Do you know why she picked you?
It's because you make her smile on days she is convinced she will never smile again, it's because when she wants to hate the world, she loves you--   it's because when she's lost, the first she always looks for is you.
Did you ever realise that?
When she fights for you, why do you think she does it? Is it because of your eyes or the way you walk?
•No•
It's because she sees something in you that's worth fighting for.
When she constantly asks how she can change your sour mood, do you think it's because you're pretty?
•Not at all•
She does it so you know-- understand-- realise-- that no matter what state you're in, she'll be there to hold your hand whether you laugh, cry or feel helpless.
If she says she loves you, do you think it's to make you laugh?
•Never•
It's because she will only say this to you when she has no doubt that it will not hurt so much that it will not be real.

Sometimes..
I catch myself thinking of when you were mine
and I was yours.

Sometimes, I catch myself wishing it would go back to that.
All was simple when your hand was in mine.

But you moved on, and I moved on.
I moved on to loving myself,
while you moved on to someone else.
I found a guy who loved me for me.
Then you moved back.

Not this time.
This time is different.
I am not, will not, can not go back to you.

It wasn't so simple when my hand was in yours.
I hated every aspect of me...
even my eyes and my scars, which I've always loved.
I done this because your eyes were prettier,
and you said you wished the scars weren't there....

I love myself.
and I love him, as I had loved you at one time.
But not anymore...

The love for you has dulled, as the love for me grew

Sometimes,
Its just not to be.
Like you and me...

And that hurt more than words could ever describe

Wont you?
I need you.
Please stay
Don't leave now.
They all leave.
I thought you'd stay