Your body was smooth like soft served vanilla
And
My mother's boyfriend always snuck into my little sister's room late at night

So I snuck into yours

You were sound asleep with the covers over your head
I tried to awake you
But you were already dead

I knew you were not right in the head
But I went and did what I did anyways
Like all young boys do

I brought you back to life
Just to tear your heart out again

I didn't mean to hurt you so badly till this day
I just wanted something I could control

Forever you remain a slave

I am nothing
I want nothing

I do nothing
I do not even breath
I do not feel cold or hungry or hot
I love and hate nothing

Only the things that I know I am supposed to

The world rotates on without me
And I am stuck spinning
Like a top in a dream or a movie
Round and round and round

I do everything
For everyone
I am still empty

Spinning spinning spinning

I am nothing

So I'll write you a poem about what you ate
I can't promise it'll be long
Or promise it will be great
You love your body
And you put into it lentils, rice, tomatoes, corn, and beans
Tonight you'll be feeling it
Whatever that means

You take her to an action movie
And take her to dinner
Then you drive her home
And you talk about the movie  
And laugh

It's always red hot fun
Touching a burner when your mother told you not to

It's the same every weekend
Sometimes she starts a fight about pigs, pearls, and forgotten dates
You don't listen

You both only ever saw glass
Thick, dark, and impermeable

you never thought to ask
why we never fall in love anymore

But it's just fine
When you're bored
There's always another waiting

Your favorite color is green
But my eyes will always be brown

Down by the ocean
there's a red brick tower and it sits
in the misty fog morning
isolated
and that's where I live
shining from the top
trying to guide you back home
just come back home
don't you know I'm so alone?
And I guess I should have known
from these games we play
Nothing would have lasted anyways
You never were the best sailor
Your ship is sinking, crashing into my shore
Can't you see I can't take this anymore?
Playing Battleship
I miss you score
Down by the ocean
the blue waves sing me a song
It plays and plays all night long
and I ask myself which one of us is wrong?
Take this pill the siren chants
and you won't care anymore
Living in an illusion
paralyzed by the truth
Nothing matters anyways
not the ocean
not the ship
not the tower
not me
not you

I am laying down
The rusty red bricks
And
The dark wet heavy grey cement
In an almost robotic method
Cold and simple
Mechanic
To build the wall that will go in-between us

You can huff and puff
But you're never ever going to break me down

You are pathetic
You are unworthy
You are rotting away on the other side
You are already a corpse
Dying
From the uranium in your bones

I will create a quarantine of the heart
And why wouldn't you want me to?

You're the one who told me so.