They say
You should start moving on
You are hurting yourself
Waiting for something
That is not going to happen
They say

I want to turn off the sound of the world
Too loud
Too much
Too hurtful
I feel how I am breaking
Is this what love is supposed to be?

Move on
Move on
They keep saying
I am a prisoner to my own thoughts
To their words
A circus

Here I am
With words of the others in my head
“Move on, there is no point in waiting.”

Here I am
Sitting next to the love of my life
Waiting for him to wake up








Or to keep sleeping for eternity


-how I would feel if I were her

Tell me, love, was she good in bed?
When you would tell her you loved her did you mean it?
Cause now I'm standing here looking stupid believing you loved me.
Did you **** her for hours endlessly in hopes you’d forget about all your other mistakes?
Tell me, love,
Did you think of me when she would scratch your back and bite your neck in hopes I wouldn’t notice?
Tell me, love, did you pick up  the mess after you were done or did you wait for your girlfriend to wash the sheets because “Our puppy peed on the bed cause he isn't trained”?
Was she the one begging for more or were you the one asking her to stay?
And clearly, it wasn’t a one time mistake like you said when I walked into the room while you were on top of her.
I would have hoped you would change which is why I stayed in the first place. But **** I should have listened to my brother when he said all you cared about was ***.

day long meaningless
the monday machine rolls
i like the way the sun is
and it’s cold out and it’s raining

something assails the daybreak
fluttering in the chutes
abstraction in the boring monotony

wispy, hazy and ambivalent
by you, wondering what you’ll do next
while i wait for the mystery
to open up in the swirled world