In the air

I breathed you in
a deep tantalising fragrance
arousing all my desires
awakening like a new moon
the wet dewdrops on the leafs
the earth after the rain
a seductive scent I find
only with you.

I taste you
in the rich sauce I ate for dinner
the spicy tang on my tongue
the engrossing strong aura
of taste you can feel.

I hear you
in every song I listen to
your voice in the wind
your unique persona in every word
in the paintings hung up
I feel your warmth,touch
your essence and life
you are here.

let me know if am wrong
to want a fairytale with you
it's never been easy
but shouldn't be this hard.

is it another life you need?
another girl? just tell me
set me free
cause am dying in this middle ground
neither having you
or not having you.

does your heart beat fast
when you see me walking by
does your smile light up the room
when you hear my voice?
do your lips tremble when I kiss you?

am living a lie,a double life
pretending to be ok
when my emotions are shattered
tears fill my eyes
ecstacy eludes me
am under your spell
an enchantment spell
You know I want you
can't help but love you.

that's true
apart of me is afraid
I can only be myself with you
let the ugliness out
not have to pretend to be
angelic,sweet, perfect
cause am broken
scarred and imperfect.

What if I can only be happy
lying in your arms?
and leaving you will hurt me
day after day after day
crush my spirit
burn my will to live
I don't want to be alone
not now,not when am old.

you bring out the best in me
and also the worst in me
I can't breathe without you
am claustrophobic
feeling my chest pressing me in
taking my life out of my hands.

If you love me follow me
even when I run don't let me
cause am lost without you.
hopeless,aching, weary.
write me a song
buy me roses
sweep me off my feet
be my prince charming
just show me you want me
all be alright
as long as you love me.

does the pain ever stop?
when you lose your heart
do the memories fade
when it all ends
or are we forever haunted
by the ghosts of the past
echoing our every move
your my pain and joy.

I wonder if you think of me
as you lie in your bed
memories that are fuzzy
or crystal clear.
do u keep my picture
on your bedside table?
or is it stuffed at the bottom
of a stack of papers.
old and worn from disuse.

I lie beneath the stars and look
for your face,your smile
listen to your voice in the wind
have your picture drawn on me
a permanent tattoo
cause I need you here
in the air I breathe
in my dreams as I sleep
this must be love.

I have come to the end of time
where lines blur and fade
where sand grains dissolve
and the hourglass is clear.

This is the end of the road
where footsteps disappear
trodden paths interlink
trampled grass remains
where do I go from here?

In the past sorrow bestowed
a lingering embrace on me.
kept me in her clutches
made me weep.
The future is uncertain
like a weight on a pendulum
swinging back and forth
sorrow,joy,loss,gain,light,dark
I am but suspended in between.

I can't explain why
in your arms i come alive.
my senses tingle
my nerve endings buzzing
desire threading its way
through my boiling blood.

you say you love me
but sometimes I question that
when you aren't all over me
yet all I think about is you.
it is in your arms that i feel
everything there is of life.

you would hate it if you knew
my lips have touched others
my heart beat hastened for another
my spirit bonded with another
yet it is only with you
that am at peace and happy
that I love with all I have.
It is you i desire

cant you see my tears
or don't you care?
that i am hurting,aching
begging for a chance
jus a day,a moment.
i need to see you
i need to feel you
hoping you can let me be
your love,hopes and dreams

melancholy

how can i be happy
when i can't have you
who my heart longs for
i see you in my sleep
you complete my dreams.

and am lost,so very lost
without you here
to hold my hand.
you had my back and held me
when it was all crashing down.

how can i smile
when you're not mine.
i need you,i want you
let me be the one to say
am yours forever.

am cold,so very cold
only you can warm my bones
take my hand and say
it's okay to feel lost and alone
am here for you always.

they said he wasnt good for me
i said he was the best i had

they said he didnt love me
i said i love him enough for two

they said it wouldn't work
i said i would try my best.

they said it was a lie
i said it was the only true thing

they said he wasn't worthy
i said he was all i needed.

there is something about you
that makes me smile
your eyes maybe
or just your face
i just look at you and smile.

your voice lulls me to sleep
or even to feel secure
that you will hold me
and keep me safe.

the way you hold me
makes me feel like am home
right where i belong
in your arms,with you.

he woke up to find
himself in a box
a foursided wooden box
six feet underground
he couldn't breathe
could barely see
had no one to talk to
no one noticed him go
he felt alone
***** and all alone
in a cold box
all by himself.

we are all sense offenders
feeling in one way or another
guilty of letting our emotions
control the way we act
moving... collecting.. leading
both negative and positive
thoughts that we have
yearning,searching,hoping
for an answer.

we have five senses
our sixth sense leads the way
in the revolution of our hearts
letting us love and be loved
loathe and be frustrated
feeling everything ten times more
heightened senses
of touch smell sight sound.

we all feel today or yesterday
in our consciousness
or even show the people we know
that to love is to give
the greatest gift there is.
to hate is to die,a little
a day at a time.

dreams

sometimes dreams are all we have
when the world moves so fast
and our life comes crashing down
little shards of glass around
that can hurt you
if you dont tread softly.

half asleep we wade
through life's turmoils
only pausing where there is cause
to take in the flashes of color
red violet blue green mauve
life in its fullness, in entirety
as i live but a dream.

having you near
makes me shiver
my heart beats faster
my head spins round.

why did you have to go
and leave me alone?
why? why? why?
does this mean am insane?
to want you back
when you broke my heart

maybe am dreaming
and it never did end
or maybe you are here
to hold me close and say
babe just stay
all i want is to know
what am feeling.

why does my voice tremble
as i speak your name.
you should know
am yours for the taking.
just tell me you are back for me
love me, love me, love me.

come take a walk with me
down the paved paths
where the flowers grow
show me that there is love
where two stick together
comradeship and friendship.

take my hand and lead me
through the unpaved paths
teach me to find a way
even when it isn't clear
and show me that it is right
to put your happiness first.

tell me you won't leave me
to face life on my own
i need you more than before
to teach me to love
I will hold on to you
and every lesson you bring
I love thee,I love you.

there is a voice i hear
loud as the church's bells
calling my name
whispering promises
of a golden new day
of a time with no sorrow.

how can it be
that i would give it all up
to see that angelic face
of the melodious voice.
to see the eyes i can feel
piercing holes in my back.

i am being watched
by invisible eyes
tiny menacing eyes
following my every move
small steps ******* my own
haunted by invisible forces.

I fear what the light will reveal
that the invisible eyes can be
either friend or foe
not sure where to turn
all I can do is wish on a star
for fairies and tales
princes and knights
horses and carriages
I hope that this story ends
happily ever after.

last night i sat at the counter
of the bar you used to like
took one shot too many
watched the door hoping
that you would walk in
tall limber form,piercing gaze
waiting to meet your eyes
beg you to hear me out.

my head began to droop
my friends said not to swoon
someone was watching
if only i could care.
he sent me a glass hoping for a dance
i said no thanks i had a date.

then in you walked
a head taller than all the lads
your gaze caught mine,lingered
and passed to some other girl
I died a little inside and swore
to make you want me back.

danced with a stranger
watched you all the while
saw your eyes flutter and look away
i waltzed closer
spun and put my arms round you
danced your cares away
enchanted you once more

I read a poem today
about life and love
it brought a rush of warmth
anticipation,appreciation
it showed me a light
in a dim dark tunnel
that maybe its not predetermined
you don't have to do
what the others have done.

I heard a song today
the lyrics got me thinking
it's not easy and not hard either
there isn't a half way point
you either go to the ends of the earth
or die trying.

I thought about you and I
call it us..
it seems surreal even when not ideal
two separate worlds
joined together by a pull;
call it a stargate
where you go I go
always only together.

I want to be alone
without feeling so empty
sit by myself and think
about the past and the future.

I want to sit outside
in the cold night air
reflect on the stars and sky
see myself in the constellation

I don't want to be alone tonight
in this large cold bed
thinking that i would rather lie
in your arms and just stay.

I want everything and all of it
to walk with you and not alone
to be with you and know
you are mine and i am yours.