I missed you before you even left.
Now that you’re gone I can feel your absence in every step.
I can’t escape the shadows of this tangible emptiness.
Strangely, it’s easier to feel than presence.

You left so soon, there was no farewell.
I don't know where you’ve gone or why,
but when you become a ghost,
come back and haunt me.

You’ll always be in my heart,
and you’ll always be my daydreams,
but I need you in my reality,
even if you’re only real to me.

Come back like those faded photographs,
with our school books, young love, and backpacks.
We were never high school sweethearts, never really sweet.
We were guitars, and singing, and poetry.

We were like a summer storm,
blowing away everything in our path.
Thunder always let lightning go first,
and I guess old habits die hard.

But I was never meant to be alone,
missing your harmony to my melody.
It’s harming me and I can't find the right note,
to capture your goodbye and to capture your soul.

So, I know they say people only become ghosts if they have a reason to stay,
but can't I be your reason? I need you for my rainy days,
because you can't have thunder without lightning,
Only storming skies and raining eyes and ghostly goodbyes.

I did my make up and I did my hair
I even found something pretty to wear
I put on heels for the first time in weeks
I look at the clock and it reads three

I waited patiently by the door
Soon it was quarter past four
You said you'd be hear at half past three
I wonder if you had somewhere else to be

The clock hands keep moving, now it reads five
Maybe, I thought, you forgot how to drive
And all this way, you had to walk
Still I waited and there was no ring or knock

The clock relentlessly still ticks
And now it reads ten after six
My phone buzzes on the arm of the chair
"Hello, are you there?"

Stuck sitting a hospital waiting room
Terrified and anxious, awaiting the news
Its only a matter of time
The clock hands tick over to nine

Tonight was supposed to be a fairy tale
Instead it rated a ten on the horror scale
The clock read 11:03 when they told me the news
There was too much damage and they couldn't save you

i used to go to my grandmother's house during the summer
and in her backyard, behind all the trees
was a river
some days it'd be weak
sitting still without interruption
some days it'd be violent
crashing against the bank
and one day
i was laying by the river
watching it flow by to somewhere i couldn't see
and i stuck my hand in the water
and it rushed between my finger tips
i heard my grandmother shout,
"try to hold the river back"
and i laughed "i can't do that grandma"
and i pulled my hand out

a year after i went to my grandmother's house for the summer
and in her back yard some of the trees
had snapped and fallen over
but there was still the river
and it was gentle
i kneeled down by the river
and stuck my hand in the water
it danced around my finger tips
and i shouted
i can hold the river back grandma
and she smiled softly, "that's lovely"
and she walked out

today i went to my grandma's house
and in her back yard the trees
were rotting away and everything was silent
but there was still the river
as if it absorbed every bit of life that had once existed around it
and it was thrashing viciously
like a dog wanting to be let from its cage
and i stood staring at the water
and thought of summer
i heard myself saying
"try to hold your river back"
and i couldn't