I promised not to cry the next time I turned my back on you.
But I couldn't help it.
I broke my heart in a million pieces and left them behind.
Am aching to watch your smile,
your beautiful innocent smile.
I miss the sound of your voice,
That maniacal laugh only you have.
The space where you lay just a moment ago is smooth and clear.
No trace of you remains.
You were trying so hard to be strong but instead I saw the pain;
Buried beneath a false facade of bravado and charisma.
You said it was ok but I saw the aching loneliness and fear.
It hurts so much to let you go but I know it has to be done.
I hope some day you will understand because I don't.

Every night at the exact same time,
You toss and turn in your bed.
Sleep eludes your tired eye lids.
Counting sheep knows no victory.
You're alone and heartsick.
Your mind won't leave you alone.
You feel every inch of your bed,
The creases in the sheets too.
It would be much easier if you weren't alone.

You could be happy with some other girl,
but instead you're sitting at my porch waiting.
I don't want to get the door cause am scared.
What if we don't work out?
I know am supposed to give this the benefit of the doubt.
But cut a sad eyed damsel some slack.

I don't wanna run before I walk, leap before I look.
what if it's the last coherent thought I have?
I have loved you once before and lost myself.
All that remained was a mess that you helped make.
I have heard it all before, the endless lies and empty promises.
You aren't going to change, you never did before.

I want to run somewhere far away where you won't come looking.
I need to clear my head, I need to breath again.
You are haunting my dreams and reality.
I can't go down the roads we used without finding your shadow.
You're a part of the pain I know, you rest on the burden I carry.

I don't want to open my door, I don't want to start this cycle again.
It ends at the tip of a precipice, where push comes to shove.
I want to start over, I want to erase the moments we wasted loving.
It's a bad idea to dream, even worse to be in the same space.
You could be happy, If you just left.

In the night as you sleep,
I miss you and your touch.
Its so lonely without you here.
I have to face my fear of being alone.
You text me throughout the day,
When happy, sad or stressed.
You instinctively run to me,
And that warms my heart.
You're the one I think of,
Each minute and hour.
Am falling in love with you.
I need you to stay.

Today I breathed in for 5 minutes,
pure unadulterated air that didn't hurt my throat.
I let go and felt it tickle the inside on my cheeks,

Today I felt my heart beat again,
thump thump like a bass drum.
I let go and breathed your scent in.

Today I felt tingles go through my body,
as you held me and pulled me close.
I let go and felt your heart beat against mine.

Today I opened my eyes and looked into yours,
as you kissed me and watched me through hooded lids.
I let go and kissed you back.

Today I fell in love with you,
as you fell in love with my hands and smile.
I held your hand and lay in your arms.
This is the essence of life as I breathe in your scent,
and burrow in your embrace.

Slow down little one,
The world is still your playground.
A place where you can frolic.
It's not a jail for your happiness.
It's not yet time to worry,
the adults can do that for you.
Remain in your bubble,
It will keep you safe.