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Jay earnest May 2020
I got a bad ***** she call me Julio
Ridin down the block like Skittles *****
Yuh
Yeet yeet
****** be hatin
Hatorade lil baby
******* mean lil baby?
Skrrrt
Drrty dozen Poppin xannies like a fountain
Cuh cuh
Eskettit
**** a ***** like a ****,  yuh I'm hard
June bugs get the
First of the
Feast

love is in the air
Jay earnest Dec 2024
anemic
emboldened
last dance dalliances

The literary equivalent of taking a big
**** in her mouth
Gouged out
And running to the ground
Down to your pretty toes

stomped on
A pigeonheld coward
Subservient to form rather than flow
Take out a loan
Go home
Spill your load
I've seen enough
You talk too much
& not enough
Jay earnest Sep 2019
Too astute. Honey in a jar. Loaded with cement and tablets of oxy. 4 fingers and 3 amputations, she lays in agony, curled up and her eylids clasped. Red door full opens and so do the sojourners into the red lobby. They spelled your name wrong. They spelled it backwards, and now you must go back into the light little girl, back to get your wings, back to tip toe in silence. Without tears
Jay earnest Apr 2020
ha ha,
the shine is not seen, frothing at a dumpster now
noon by 11,
so it goes.

and what if it isn't a barbituate? and the senator is irate?
then you still stand among the folly and whisper
what they despise,
she cries like
lemons in dusk,

and I'm a deadly flower, picked and pricked. hallucinogenic, datura is a deliriant,
you will be
spinning in your kitchen for the next 10 hours and gurgling hymns
to Jehovah.

tip toe,
and put your feet on my lap,
let's watch a movie and drift away. the night is like a fire, just before the coals
give out,  the smoke
softly kisses your  
face, gently,
and with passion
Jay earnest May 2018
highly evolved

highly advanced

16 cents in the pants  --  at the laundromat --  
with a taco   from   Jorje's

pinanpple
soda
and a churro.

   2 crows staring at you.

someone going on about the 'poison'.

''I HAVE A TUMOR''

and     creak your mouth  in general sadness.    washed hands in the grate outside  behind the lot behind the 2 ft  statue   of a civil leader.


backbending,
trying to lick yourself,
and succeeding.

up to 30 pull ups -- when the average man can't do one,  nice.


cold fingers
space heater

darts at the board.


sexless,-
******* 16 times--

dating profiles
half-open smile
sultry
eyes

3 toes
amputated ,  one in the box,  one for Christmas,  one for new year,  and one for now.


I  pull myself *****.

You shield yourself.

you  walk out.

you   kiss     the dead man ,  after  he succumbs to his afflction.

you provide the warmth.

you read  a magazine.


you   put on a   flowery dress.


you  call up   your   mother.


you dance in the afternoon.


you  rise with the
sun
Jay earnest May 2020
"WHAT'S YOUR WORDCOUNT?
WHAT'S YOUR WORDCOUNT?" he shouted

I don't know, but I make my words count
Jay earnest May 2020
"WHAT'S YOUR WORD COUNT?
WHAT'S YOUR WORDCOUNT?" he shouted

I don't know, but I make my words count
Jay earnest Aug 2019
writing when you have nothing to say,

is like talking to a pile of dirt.

I have nothing to say right now so I'm talking to a pile of dirt.
I'll let someone else find meaning.

Please do, for my sake.

Read between the lines, and look for the hidden art. it is very well hidden
Jay earnest May 2020
you could write 20,000 poems and you would still be boring to an insulting extent.
Ishmael
wrote 1 millions words
and still no one cares . I don't count my turds as art either, or it would be up in the millions now too.
be honest with yourself . it's time to get a job as a transcriptionist
at the
  law firm. they're in the billions of
words
Jay earnest Sep 2024
Doesn't know I exist
Under a bed somewhere
Sweltering heat
Still & quiet
Dreary like a window pane

I walked to the beach earlier & saw
the crowd
Waves hit the precipice
Yesterday was one of the best days in a while
Today felt like real death
Stale & hopeless
Full of regret
I'm sorry for what I am
Jay earnest Apr 2020
beep bop
,sklap a sklap
skeep
BEEPPPP
BEEEP
SAMPLED amen break here and a tempo change, SKREEP SKREEP SKREP

then It fades to an a-minor bridge where angelic chords sing and a moon rises
then it goes fast again
SKREEP SKREEP
SKRRROOOOP

ayyy yaaahhhhh
'baby
baby baby light my way' ';;;;  no more suffering.  life is too short
to
d
I
e
X
Jay earnest Jul 2024
X
Feeling the steel on my temple and the trigger locked around my finger
There's no relief
I've already been dead for years
This feels redundant
and with none of the fan fare I was hoping
Now I smile
X
Jay earnest Sep 2019
this is your last goodbye
this is your last note in the sand

your last puff of smoke swirling in the charcoal night air
the last smack of your lip
the last
cube in your drink
the last static frequency absolved from your television,
the last text from your phone
the last sigh from your lung
the last
shirt from your back
the last
laugh from your soul
the last
kiss in the grass,
the last tear as you pull away.
the last promise,
the last excuse,
the last wish,
the last exit.
the last journey to somewhere where the shadows are kind.  last goodbye ,
last  goodbye. it's over
y,
Jay earnest Oct 2022
y,
sleeping giants

in a trash bag
with the toothbrush
bent like a crackpipe under your boot.
why do you pretend you know so much?
  you know so little and that makes you one to admire;  strike up a conversation with a gypsy
and the
lighter magic will sway with you then.

   but if ukraine
dies, so does the maybe kids
Jay earnest Mar 2018
pastor in the glass
and the fro - curly
like Qausimodo.


jumping up with the witchcraft and the girraffe;
no Greasers here
but the fleas
of the patron
persuasion


who done it?  
who done. it

like an AR15 on a freeway unloaded on the
gypsy
crocodile

loading my head up with lead
I've been dead

I killed the cat

I hung up my mat

I'm like dreaming excursion.

2 is 2 many but 1 is never enough

especially when there's no hash browns on the plate,  ya dig?
Jay earnest Mar 2021
Im going to go upstairs and beat the **** out of the **** blasting his trash and cut out his eyeballs and his heart.
******* loser holding me hostage.
I'll pry you open with a sickle and feed your guts to my iguana you ******* vermin and on a full moon too?
Tomorrow im blasting Hungarian rhapsody.
And I could shoot you but it's too merciful and bullets too costly. Good night my love
Ye
Jay earnest Dec 2022
Ye
Always stuck,
always searching
Always condemned, always writhing in agony as the ropes of hell
tighten around my

neck.

Always questioning,
Always forgetting,
That the truth is usually a lot less interesting than the lie.
Some men go insane, most just die
Jay earnest May 2020
bass and feel
based
in grounding
air tight no room for sin
it goes up and down
loud and slow
hot and cold
blue streaks of fire
I wipe my face of sweat
and needles circumvent me- lasting til dawn,
faces
scrawled on ash silk, there's 14 candles and one still burning. tomorrow is yesterdays history
Jay earnest Jul 2020
If you will

Well I must
If you insist

I insist
Good oysters they say?
Yes indeed
Gosh these oysters are fine
Yish
You
Jay earnest Jul 2020
You
Not really a poem, but I just want to throw everything away and start a life in nature and live among people who love and understand me and who I can work with to achieve in that setting.
Simplicity.
Food needs met
Water needs met
Shelter
And finally love with no distractions

Because I don't remember how to be human. I'm always looking elsewhere. I want to be here with them. I want to be here with you. I can't make it on my own
Jay earnest Jun 2017
I lie


under a black blanket,

suffocating.


curtains are grey,


and a green water is leaking.


I hate a few people,


but I never was half-assed
in my ability to love.

now I'm floating on a ***** river
while you smile at every child that smiles back at you,

as though it's not easy, when
it's a given.

you belonged to the world.
Jay earnest Apr 2020
I just forget how to be myself if I feel like someone
cares about me
it makes me feel like there is something
wrong

I thrive on self-sabotage,it's my only way forward by
following the smoke
Jay earnest May 2020
you can make a poem out of a everything. I have my keyboard here and a piece of fabric from the bed bath and beyond catalog, fuscia green with specks of yellow -  
    green hazlemint coffee
and jug bottles line the table. I have a sharpie marker that doesn't work, and some cat socks on me- comfortable. a picture of a woman named Marie on the desk ;; a picture of a Shibanawa  illustration of a head with grey blood and the void of now
" sorry"
   it sounds good, and it feels good,  but what is sorry, if there's no accountability --
     I have no refuge in this storm, and you don't know me
Jay earnest Apr 2020
beautiful like a flash in the pan, beautiful like a light in the fog,
beautiful like
a tree on a hill,
beautiful like a skull
with bugs,
beautiful like a spider ******* the fluids out of a grasshopper
and feeding its young,
beautiful
like inheriting your dead mother's fortune
beautiful like walking along a cobble stone path in July when the lilacs are dead
you are beautiful
like a
word
Jay earnest Apr 2021
Don't know what to say
These words are hollow, collapsing in on me.

I see a truncated face and wrinkled fingers which wipe away tears.
Acid bath,
Pig stain.
**** what doesn't scream back, the bag won't tighten over shrunken heads.
I hate this life,  because I always get cheated,

Cheated out of living.   Only pins in these eyes. And I smile
Jay earnest Apr 2023
Flip every plate into the pit
  We talk about ******* but never do, her wife wouldnt let us anyway
But I scrape more **** into the trash and talk to the old lady, she's goes off into the eating lounge.
I talk to the old man, old and dying
There is no youth here.
I try to talk to the kitchen, they don't talk in my language.
I try to talk to myself but I am too ashamed to self-associate

So I take a breath and then 10 hours turn into 5 minutes as I break with mild tremors.
I am alive and now I can sleep to escape
Until tomorrow, until I
Have forgotten who I am
Yuh
Jay earnest Oct 2019
Yuh
Yeah you know tattoo ink has cancer right?

You know that pizza has cancer right?

You know that coffee has cancer right?

You know that bananas have aluminum?
You know that the Earth is dying and an asteroid collision is imminent?

You know that greenhouse gasses are exacerbating climate change?
You know that hormone blockers for an 8 year old is ethical?
You know that I'm a primate?
You know that
I like trap rap

You know that my name is Wei Brown
I live in the gentrified suburbs

I planted a flower and it sits on my stove
*******

You know that every question is an answer
Jay earnest Aug 2020
it's well lit here on a superfical level
But it's dark inside

I can't see whats in front of me
Or what's lurking in the shadows

Pretend to be asleep
The mourning is almost here

— The End —