I don't want to love anymore,
because at some point, someone wants something that the other person can't
provide

it's never enough.

'I don't talk enough',
' I don't make enough',
'my friends are annoying' , ' I had previous girlfriends prior to you that make you jealous or something'
'I'm too affectionate'
'I drink too much' , 'you do this, you do that'
I'd rather just not be a part of it.
you want to be 'friends', but you know that could never happen.

there's nothing to gain by friendship, you need my
heart

my dad is so proud,
he hammered some plywood against his deck
to sort of act as make shift walls

it looks ameteurish and cheap and I don't quite understand the purpose,
but I love seeing his enthusiasm

and after a while it did become cozy. the thin, wobbly plywood
added charm, and my morning coffee seemed much
warmer
I sip slowly, and a bird arises from its nest of twigs

I always get blame after the fact. I'm always the 'bad guy',
but I know the second I said "I love you" it was already over.

there was nothing left to plunder.
I was no longer interesting, I was
easy

I dont feel like writing another poem again
why am I even here, clacking
this *******
I should be
digging a pothole to throw garbage in and plant
weeds -- something productive


my stomach hurts,
and people are yelling at me for being honest and considerate of their overall well-being.
you can still talk to me,
maybe?
but I had to lift the curtain, sorry if it's not what you like.

a crumpled tissue sits on the dresser, and there's a transient singing a lil pump song,
I threw a brick at him and he ran into the bush.
days are too long for all of this
sorrow

Time goes by so fast and you howl and breathe like a ***** beast
What once was 2 years is now 5 and what was once 5 is 10
And before you know it what was once cute and endearing at 16
Is now Strange and immature at 24
I didn't ask for this
I wanted to be eternal, I wanted to be timeless
And thats why they all die at 27 and I'm nearly there.
No one will bury me
I'll be scattered ash for daises, while the tombstones all read prayers

These eyes have seen enough

You wait in a hall for your lunch
It's so so
The lights of Tokyo blind you
And your guts are cancer

Smoking in a balcony, I don't wanna slip,
The stars are history that we swear by
I used to be
A child full of
love

Youve been stuck In a lift we've been trying to reach you for hours
The power has been cut
And the doors wont pry

  What is your name, do you feel Ill?
Where are your parents?
What do you do?

Press the button to the bottom floor,
And be on your merry way
There is no resolve

I love growing out my hair and beard, it feels Noble and wise
Why did we ever bother with vanity anyway
It just shows we had nothing better to do
The Mammoth had already been slain, now we were just watching a pale sun that never seemed to set

Depression is where sadness is no longer comfort.
You lay like a corpse on your recliner and the flies buzz around and the food tastes like ****
And you can *** 30 times and you may as well ****** in a jug.
Your hair is messy
And your eyes are strained and the neighbors are yelling and there's a thin blue film which covers everything.
depression is like dancing without a song
And without anyone to care when you've fallen flat on your back
And the windows won't open and the carpet is grey

I lay down with my hand on her breast
And her whimper in the night
You want me to fix you
But I can't nor should I
You need to make yourself whole, I never signed up for being anything other than a warm shoulder
To cry on, and to provide my love if you needed it
But I can't perform miracles, because I'm only human
And Lord knows I've been waiting for some miracles too

I hope future undisturbed, beautiful generations with their rich communal bonds and time- honored traditions and ceremony and purpose  may look back and only scarcely begin to imagine how perverted and degenerated everything got before it was too late,
But it had to happen, and Im glad it will all have  been a bad dream

I got a 40 oz, and listened to music on my way there. I bought it and asked how he's doing. He said 'fine'. I actually wore a mask this time, then I drove down the road and saw a downed tree and some rocks.
It was cloudy and grey, and devoid of life and intention and it felt fine. It felt natural like my imagination made
reality
But I always vanish in my dreams and I've just started sleeping

I feel so much lonlier than when I was by myself
The dense humidity of this room crushes me
And I cannot sleep
I suffocate until I achieve a semblance of peace
Suicide is for beginners. Try living as a dead  man

Sad muggy night where the air is stale and the brown leaves hiss along the street with apathy
It reminds me of everything that is wrong, of everything that shouldn't have been

The spider gathers another moth in her web , the lamps are amber like marmalade

At the precipice of civil war, they say 10 cigarettes and a jug of wine will get you anything
Tattered clothes and scraggly beards, I cuddle with my animal and dream of days before time,
But still the sun rises and it yells
obscenity

Rolling hardship up a hill like a hungry peasant

I lay my offering at the temple.
So very lost,
I see no reflection, have we all been
duped

There's no worse feeling than getting blamed for what you didn't do,
It's like getting blamed for cheating in a dream.
I know you want to cut me so do it,
Here I'll get it started
Lol lol lol lol lollol

I'm just going to get drunk **** it
I love puking into a bowl
And whispering to my plant
Wheels of confusion
Black Sabbath, then black metal,
And then noise, and then silence

If you were so offended why didn't you just leave?
Why did you interrogate me then try to inject yourself into my life and spend weeks talking to me?
If im so toxic, why did you proceed to stay on your own volition and flirt with me and be ******?
I'm sorry I upset you, but I don't think it bothered you, but now we're both disturbed and there's no turning back this mess

Nuclear armagedden would have been preferable
I always wanted to be a steaming skeleton
And I always wanted to go blind by beauty inconceivable

They make me write I sit down
I've evacuated these bowels countless times
You lean against a fence and leery eyes silently judge what the **** did I do
to
you?

there's an obligation  to type something out on a day like this -

and the stratosphere blooms
and the exhale   of the black matter   is like sad comfort

of all  the times you sit across the window  and stare and the soil with  half a glass  of milk
the precious moon like a stone     not listening
but weeping

light in my eye,
the shadow in my
heart.

this crippled song,
this crippled love

this is the most uneventful apacalypse I think we could have been subjected to,
we'll die of boredom before anything interesting happens
&
I hope future generations
many distant centuries from now, primitive yet stoic, dig up an iphone
and use it as an axe head to chop more fire wood and sleep soundly
in the cool starry night with no distraction
ever
again

nothing to do,
    there's a black cloud  in  the bright sun--
crushing leaves as you trudge in
the noon mist

neighbor
is beating a rock with his clump of wood and it makes a
cacophony of bass-
lit, I wish I had the words to say-
just spilling out because there's nothing to keep it in. coming undone and its not
nice, nor that interesting

I have nothing to write about
Everythings closed down and I have the same routine everyday
No one even really talks, which I'm fine with, but I'd at least want the option to hear your drivel if I feel like it.
Boots and Hammer digging the ditch outside
Should be done by next decade then it won't snow in the garage no mo
Distance so fine

It's never about writing that one immortal poem,
because believe me I've written a few
And the feeling never lasts
It's about writing a forest that some people hopefully decide to get lost in so they can find themselves on the
other side

Why do some people in their
Poems suddenly talk like they're 18th century
Aristocrats?

I merrily stroll for thy love as truth is bequeethed upon me,
Strudle fruit like wine I digest for I am
Famished

Do they send it by mail too?
Indubitably

do nothing.

I've already done enough harm,


close the curtains and
fade out

beautiful like a flash in the pan, beautiful like a light in the fog,
beautiful like
a tree on a hill,
beautiful like a skull
with bugs,
beautiful like a spider ******* the fluids out of a grasshopper
and feeding its young,
beautiful
like inheriting your dead mother's fortune
beautiful like walking along a cobble stone path in July when the lilacs are dead
you are beautiful
like a
word

I just forget how to be myself if I feel like someone
cares about me
it makes me feel like there is something
wrong

I thrive on self-sabotage,it's my only way forward by
following the smoke

Black outside
With a heart that's caged
Faint talking swirling around the light fixture
I sip my tea and itch my neck
Pockets full of lint and lungs of ash
A swollen mind with too many thoughts
Pull the covers
And sleep for good. No more
surprises.    No more
pretending like the sun ever shone in.

Don't ever fault yourself for having loved too much
That's like faulting the sky for having gave a desert too much rain to see if at least
one flower could
grow

and I sit on a porch deck
chair
with the sun bleeting on me.
buy 2
fruit with masks and the cashier coofs

lay still you *****-  
foment the beach sun.
*** like a ******* miracle,
oh
I'm crying . bake it thru.  bake the death from it.
covid,
you shill and misanthropic venture. free us now. and walk on shallow streets


like     a    drug;                focused and
self-assured

beep bop
,sklap a sklap
skeep
BEEPPPP
BEEEP
SAMPLED amen break here and a tempo change, SKREEP SKREEP SKREP

then It fades to an a-minor bridge where angelic chords sing and a moon rises
then it goes fast again
SKREEP SKREEP
SKRRROOOOP

ayyy yaaahhhhh
'baby
baby baby light my way' ';;;;  no more suffering.  life is too short
to
d
I
e

but she talks to me like a *******
man bro.
she'll get what she wants.
she wants to bury me, and I'll
let
her

yards
in a mile for footstools now .
  she rubs her silly
***
like a serpent .  who here has no future ? save thy nickel and pet your
prudent
pride
once more and feel tonight as you slither
across floorboards
for
amused muppets seething

you only want me because I'm the one person who won't
give you what you want, because you should
know better

ripped off
a fletcher,
lizard kin and bleeding, hysterectomy
who know there's 52 in a bottle
squished

blue indigo father Dunlop- hideos in the qeua you paint by numbers and pick from your thistle jar, hairless luck
meow muskrat ****

But in space there is no time
And that's how it mostly feels especially in the early hours

Numb and floating
infinite like a ballet
You only get one chance
Don't miss
Your eclipse



;*:;

I don't count the page.
Folded in numbers, frail and benign
Look to see what you've written
And what really matter s

Standard eraser, jet black plume, Friday night settlement
Dependent on wires

Frail commerce at first petulant
Orange in detail, noon ground, bent and spent
Corner of a laughing
Depot

Fifty give a ****, **** it but don't duck it
Off to a sane sorrow,
Plastered in paradise and feeding mice. Weather 09

Gerb in a gush goop lop lop
Sklop in a shock a mun julk

***** dewie
Lovx an huny ackvol

O say now
Pewb pewb
**** it good and hard
Uylm see
Stand in filligree lop
loshK
Two note steeve , none for me

Yes
  historical
points of labor
who organizing in dens.  the 80s. Prior, themselves
(plumbers organizing with plumber etc)

**** pop off
workers doing things, industrial lines. basically, the factory all together union.
Cutters
the station didn't matter. Everyone the same.  spreading widely, and became the COW.  quite the political force,  won a lot a
protections IN sync with a stout.
Call me yobber and the street clear.
Stamina

I think it's good
a motivation
1000 days of life
changed. It's still rainbows
deal with it. God blessed

tubes
has been what works best
reminding of myself reminds my brain leading to a relapse several times eventually with good habits
consciously thinking and
Truly integrated

your life.
Planted rose, carcass and soon
0

Too much pride to go around you beat the faithless
Hanging by their nails as the kaliadiscope bleeds; parasite

To know the road is to know eternity, indoors.
Faces marked by suffering, i fold out the blade
Color 2, fifty in pairs, don't hang yourself like a pale
lung

Hissing through the wind as the leaflets make their way North
crooked hands of dispair
Know not the p r ice
Look to yourself
Flee if you must, for whatever's just. Sorry If I went too far
666 happens to be a faithful star

Jug band sister, I crane my head and walk to a river. Wash away your sins. Cry in the
***** shale breeze

I am a scientist
people are the angle.
a party of it, I will also highlight
extensive issues

done reacting to how minorities
never forget my first Japanese boss.

(at a Japanese company, where this behavior was higher than I've experienced)
curt and ******

data
By the second week
off real quick
overconfident and mean


20 years of experience
Made myself essential very easily;
nobody bothered
Not genius ideas
automating &
pathetically inefficient
for one button

stamps
suh sun

because someone tells you something is a fact

prevention is more affordable
than treatment
dubiously related: the medical field

Older doesn't always mean wise
the importance of getting 7-9hrs of sleep every single night.

Human memory is extremely unreliable.
fabricate memories
conform to our biases

revolve around photograph

gender of the people doing the ignoring
*55555

feed a cat