Life is like one bad dream on repeat

I forget all the faces, and it's mildly amusing on recall
Somewhere I jumped off a building
and caressed a nun then became president, and for what
Just to suffer

The only good part of life is ***
And it's barely good
and a mere bargaining token

I sleep to get away from the dreaming;
The best
Is when you remember nothing, and that's where I'll be when I'm dead, you can be in heaven

Swiftly and unapologetically,
my favorite God wrote poetry for the fabled liturgical society
If I heap trash on the pile maybe I can be surmised for my genius as well

Blue is red and red is yellow

Tonight the stakes shall impale the treasonous
Interlopers

Let none see our folly; the earth is due for its poisoning

& I took a **** on a baby
Yesterday while
the windows were not open

3:45 with ****** eyes
I bite on the stale chip whilst the sound of decadent rats punch holes in my pickled brain

If it was up to me
I wouldn't be talking to you; friends are nothing but thieves

Now it's 3:46

feel betrayed, bamboozled
Women are too good at the game of emotional manipulation
Even a young girl runs circles around me.
I try to be cool and detached
but inevitably the photos of the other men come flooding in; the Hispanic dude with guaged ears, the buff guy with the lizard tattoo, and she knows I'll watch all of it

But she ****** me just so she could toy with me after; her greatest currency
No intention of meeting again, just wanted me in her orbit, and God it felt amazing and I indeed became a weary simp

I'm too old for this **** though, so I blocked her. Total indifference on her end of course, but now
I can be ***** and alone but at least with some semblance of dignity.
But what's dignity worth when you're lonely?
Only a sociopath can beat this game and I'm getting close; next time
I'll win but it'll hardly be fun

pain is being too numb to feel any thing

I'm grateful to be here,

to see the vanquished cities as they propagate the vast expanse,

To hold my heart in a ***** jar with the wounded still crying out

I am grateful to breathe this air,

To see the tarry streets as they grip on my lost feet,

To see the fire as it's quenched with mortar



I am grateful

Grateful for everything, and everything I wish I could have saved; it made me a better man, losing it all and a piece of my soul

the circus sands
  sit within tumultuous hands

I feel everything and nothing
as my mind dances along a vacant passage

I was once wise
  but now I've regressed into the latitude of adolescent sorrow

if I had the answer
I'd give it to you,
but instead I'm left to search
, falling into the sun
with ever increasing velocity. we are no longer immortal