Just took mushrooms

All music seems pointless
So does this poem

Words of wisdom
If you're standing afar.
Someday the Earth
Will die
And so will you
Smiling in its embrace :)

I was genuinely an evil person to my ex
I made you feel low
And devoid of all self worth

I abused you mentally and physically
Dehumanized you
Made you feel like trash
But I was ultimately projecting my own lack of self worth
And there's not much to learn here
But I
Was a ******* and I'm sorry

I hope I learn my lesson for real.
I deserve it, because I
feel it in my soul and it
   hurts
even now

Absolute hell
& Misery
My head aches
Like a ticking bomb and my heart is full of compressed air
I see faces without emotion even though there are human impulses here.

I want to leave
And be forgotten
Like the many dead

I feel bad because I'll never be what you want me to be.
The problem is that I genuinely don't care and I guess that's why you're attracted to me. I'm perpetually out of reach and indifferent and
I don't feel compelled to keep you around nor reach out, but when you leave for good that's when I'll miss you. That's when I'll regret not having done more to hold onto you.
It's a trait of psychopathic narcissism;
I love the idea of being loved, but actually being in love is too much. I cant give you that power even when I know you only meant good
And now I have nothing, because I refused to receive even when you were prepared to give me
Everything

Sitting dead with a headache I read 5 pages of a biography then put it down to rest my demented tik tok addled brain

I scroll through pics of creatures barely human, frothing and I then I revert to a fetal position;
Whilst sitting i receive a call from a stranger I knew 15 years ago and say happy birthday.
My day kinda drifts after this into a damp bag and I pretend to be someone special and good when my heart stops counting in bursts of 10
And 11 and the dawn swirls into nothing

Women always project. She calls me a ****** when her ******* droop and her belly hangs.
She calls me dumb when she doesn't even know where Cyprus is.
She calls me petty when she goes out clubbing the night I'm too sick to get together.
She calls me cheap when she can't even buy a proper mattress that doesn't pop in the night.

They just project, and that's why when you say nothing it hurts them so bad; it's reality as plain as their haggard eyes in the morning after another night desperate for love but never able to attain it

Bleak like a cracked mirror in a skid row ****** squat;

Bleak like my testicles
After a day of doing nothing
But
******* air

Bleak like a Chinese person in China in the year now

Bleak like a mortgage in 2023

I fill a cup with water and drink it down, nice and cool