Bleak like a cracked mirror in a skid row ****** squat;

Bleak like my testicles
After a day of doing nothing
But
******* air

Bleak like a Chinese person in China in the year now

Bleak like a mortgage in 2023

I fill a cup with water and drink it down, nice and cool

I used to care and be cautious
But now I just really wanna impregnate her or someone.
I'm sorry child, but suffering isn't too bad, it's the living you have to worry about

When your head is packed with garbage & there's an unrelenting ache there actually comes a certain clarity,;
I can't concentrate on anything because I'm just trying not to die, thus 99% of living becomes superfluous and you focus on the pertinent, which is not dying, like I stated

What was once green is yellow
& The pockets are lined with bent cigarette stems

I saw a little girl painting on a sidewalk.
I went down to the bench
& Wondered what
It felt like to be alone again

Today was just practice

sponge bath
In a white moon saucer
The crumbs laid out spell
Something like
"*******" so
I roll up a pad and play dice with the ***** licemen; like bugs they make love

I talked to her for an hour on the phone and she called me babe and the night prior I was pounding her as she cried out and begged for more; I then pumped into her and watched a movie after whilst cuddling.
Now she deleted me.
This is why I say "they don't t belong to me it was just my turn"
I then get back on my app & match with a Latina named "Rain"

The pain splits my head open
& My heart spills out of my gut

Greedy gelatinous slithered eyes stab at me
& A duckling yellow combover with grey tongues spit at me
"No time off"

I turn off the device and go back to bed; the fuzz in my head lingers but at least now I know I wasn't crazy, just
sane