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Jay earnest Dec 2022
Tapping a phone screen in a yellow room with white walls,
breathing in chemical solution from Tuesday's
mold treatment
The ham sits half eaten, half defrosted.
There are dead women in my head who despite being dead still haunt my soul with vindictiveness.
There is animal hair on the rug and amimal feces in the flower ***.
A horn sprouts up from behind the TV wall.
There is a percolating coldness and it falls over me with the understanding that there is no escape.
My car is in the junkyard, my money
is in a billionaire's pocket,
my sanity is squandered concentrating on vicarious social media delusion.
I am a modern day human and nothing is wrong here.
Jay earnest Dec 2022
Do not lose hope.
Everything will work out alright.
Everything will turn out in a positive light as always.
Stop worrying.
Just continue to love; love is all you need.
Love transcends all. Love is more important than all the silly minutia you stress over.
The people who care, treasure them.
All the other stuff will fall into place, but prioritize the relationships, because they're all that will matter when you have lost everything else.
And you have indeed lost everything.
Jay earnest Dec 2022
Ye
Always stuck,
always searching
Always condemned, always writhing in agony as the ropes of hell
tighten around my

neck.

Always questioning,
Always forgetting,
That the truth is usually a lot less interesting than the lie.
Some men go insane, most just die
Jay earnest Nov 2022
Laid up sick in bed , with 3 rolls of toilet paper at my side
I ******* for the 13th time

There's a bottle of OJ in an iron canteen
and a Mexican
Flute perched in my grandma's arms who sadly succumbed to her
       sorrow

the mucus drips drown and 3 girls wanna **** me. If I didn't have aids I'd **** them tomorrow instead of Wednesday
I
latch onto a common thread
which
Is
don't share too much of yourself
unless you wanna be caught
Jay earnest Nov 2022
Lonely
while cuddling a sweet and loving girl.
She sleeps right now beside me holding my hand
I don't know if I romanticize the previous relationship
or if I was always this fundamentally broken
I think I've just faked my way into all these situations
Because I barely feel human
I'm
Only here and they're
there
Jay earnest Nov 2022
You find someone special and then they leave.
You find something special and then it disappears, used up.
All comfort is temporary
Accept the pain
And accept the fact that love is transient and fleeting, but that is why it is beautiful
It's not here forever,
It merely visits
Jay earnest Nov 2022
Some tweaker came up to me proclaiming himself Jesus Christ and that he alone is responsible for "**** filters and electric wheels"
I nodded and then said
Yeah but I'm God

He didn't like that
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