Writing broken hearted poems like everyone else. It's part of the human condition and I feel no shame, I just wish I never had to write one. That's something other people write, I thought my love was impenetrable, it wasn't.

Love is forever they say, through all the nights of psychosis and turmoil and uncertainty, love is forever

Through all the days dreaming of acres of bliss among the green hills and your animals free and alive, love is forever.

Through all the kisses on your wrist when you no longer had the strength to continue, love is forever.

Through all the mania and pain and poverty and suffering, love is forever.

When you weaped uncontrollably and I left for some days because I had to attend to my mental health,
our love was still forever, so why would you betray me?

I knew when you made these promises that I'd be looking back now as a naíve fool, but the love was still real in those moments, it just wasn't forever..

It was easy today, looking in the mirror, combing my hair. I didn't shudder from the ugliness I merely turned my head to the mermaid on the wall playing a harp.

When I put my shoes on I went for a ride on my bike and this gothic girl was lighting a candle by the Christian altar ; I saw her stained sword by the rock wall and then she left before I could confront her.
In simpler times I probably would have put something in her , but I don't do that with the surveillance next door.
So I just sat there for a while then tossed a half drank Heineken at Jesus' face; he shattered into dust and I almost felt bad but they used cheap alabaster **** which made me pity the Creator.

I walked along the dried lake and took an automated picture.
I got sun and my head felt better. Still I work tomorrow, still I hate

Hate that I know too much. Hate that I feel every transgression but that's the price of being alive

***** it all out, chunks of it, putrid tonsillitis muck which glimmers in the summer air

I want free of this madness. Songs are driving me crazy in the sense that they repeat and say so little but mean so much because I want to be a star
Or maybe I want love, maybe I want attention maybe I want what everyone else wants which is something to ease the pain of it all
I want bliss
And I want to forget that I am nothing

Blossomed trees gently swaying
Rivers slowly dancing
Footprints slowly drying in the winter gloom
Centipedes curling with the heat
Hearts beating with the shadowed leaves
Eyes closing with omnipotent death
Your hands clasped in your lap
The last thing you wrote was
"anew"
The last breath you drew was today

Escort
Picked her up on"Eagle" and H
"Hey babe what's your rate?"
"120"
"Okay get in, let's have fun :)"
She gets in and it's pleasant. Her name is Jaeda, and is a soft Latina, smooth and tiny, young. I rub her thigh. Im not a cop. She smiles. She tells me of her home. We drive to the motel. It reeks of smells. I take off my clothes.
"woah your tattoos are crazy"
She slips on a ****** and inserts me in her mouth and starts *******. Bobbing up and down I rub her neck. I hear footsteps upstairs and a screaming lady. I'm hard. She says to insert into her now and mount. I do that and start thrusting. I start pounding her little teen *****, tight as my fist. I pound and pound and she moans and asks something about my hair. It's casual and the *** is an afterthought. I finish and *** and she puts her clothes on and it's as though I didn't even **** her and had her toes in my mouth mere seconds ago. Sweet girl but like a phantom, like most of life's experiences. I drive her back to her spot. Motown plays and cars keep whisking away. I stretch out my hand to kiss hers and say
"Thank you"
She laughs and walks to the street. A shadow obscures her form and I drive home.

Given to god and the flies like the shapely things they are with maggoty arms and lungs full of cement I Dance on craning heads and hit my face in the pool duck
Raining over everyone, nirvana in the sense that faith is delusion I pick away a subtle man in the flow with your hammy down wrapper *** rag in a fat pig origami *****
Set on fire, what was once faith means annihilation. "See me at 5" the choir lunges, l sing til dawn , I pick up the last of the leaves. Soon and everyone goes to heaven