The road is darker in front of me and sometimes I feel myself growing comfortable in the darkness and at times giving up and befriending the darkness.

Maybe I've let my oil run dry?
Maybe I've hid my one talent too long and now I can't seem to find it.

Honestly I just want some temporary relief from the heartache that I feel. Nicotine, ***, drugs, alcohol.

I sometimes just want to feel numb and lay down forever.

Most days I feel so lonely
     Hide behind this mask like does anybody know me?
      Still dealing with the same stuff I dealt with when I was a kid
        Maybe I never grew up
Maybe I'm still a kid
       Maybe I'll never get over it.

Most days I just wanna lay in bed
      Close my eyes and forget about the world cause the world already closed their eyes and forgot about me.

I just feel like I could float away and die
Send me up to heaven with a message in a bottle saying " Return back to sender"
Or go down in hell and hang with some of the family.... probably shouldn't said that... oops my apologies.

In the next thirty years I hope I'm a little more secure in my finances and my mental health. I hope thirty years from now I'm not in this mental hell.

Maybe content with the things that didn't work out and who knows maybe I'll have time to work out
Finally forgive my dad for not coming round or we actually work it out

I hope thirty years from now I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin, be happy with who I am and who I'm not that would be an achievement.

Maybe take some risks and see where I land and who knows maybe I'll be a little happier with the end than where I began.

Sometimes I think the saddest part of life is how far we come from when we finished to when we started.

My daughter's one years old and I know someday she's going to know what it feels like to not be enough

My cousin wasn't always addicted to the ****** but then he got older had some pain that wouldn't heal  so he started medicating and started popping pills then it lead to the hard stuff and now he's not with us

I remember being young and wide eyed, never felt so alive but when I got older something in me died and when I die, I'm gonna die with a broken heart on my sleeve.

Are you tired?
Are you weary?

Have the people you once loved left you miles apart
from the person you once knew?

You're not alone in this mystery
All your wounds, all your tears will soon be healed
You'll be able to tell the tale of victory

How you overcame it all
how you made your own destiny.

I'm scared of love, I'm scared of lust
I'm afraid if I open up my bank account they'll take the money and run.