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124 · Aug 2020
we all end up the same way
'Elgendy Aug 2020
A leaf falls slowly to the ground,
Going round, round and round,
First, it was green, now it is brown,
Every leaf is like a tear,
Soft and gentle,
Falling from the tree,
As if it were crying,
As it's slowly dying.
Falling
Into the stream,
Taken down the river,
And away it goes,

A petal sits on the ground,
Red as the rose it fell from,
Each petal is like tissue,
Soft and kind to the touch,
Butterflies once landed on it,
But now insects crawl over it,
A summer breeze gently blows,
The petal is taken up to the clouds,
Away it goes,

A butterfly glides slowly around,
With that flapping sound
Searching for flowers,
Searching for nectar,
Gliding on the summer breeze,
Down to the river and the tear, like leaves,
Then up to the clouds and the tissue-like petals,
Then back to the flowers,
And away it goes.
If you're a tree, or a leaf ,
A rose, or a petal,
A caterpillar, or a butterfly.
We all end up the same way
We'll all die at some point but we need to remember, that in the end we're all equal.
84 · Aug 2020
almost everyday
'Elgendy Aug 2020
It's one of those                                          
Dismal days                                                             ­       
I don't wish to leave
My space
Not even
To eat or                          
Drink anything
The worst part
Of those
Dismal days
Is nothing
Ever feels
Right or wrong
Or horrific
You turn
Sick of Repetitive
Pedals cycling
You
Fight suffocating hands
Who steal any
Sanity the mind
Has
Desperately
Salvaged
As you tell
The whole ****                      
World to
*******
in
Spitballs
Of
Fire.
83 · Aug 2020
words
'Elgendy Aug 2020
Profound are they whose words hurt
Or heal and make us whole.
Ever lyrically stripping us bare
To reveal our deepest thoughts.
Sweet, the souls of rhyme.
74 · Aug 2020
hell and heaven inside
'Elgendy Aug 2020
I can make you full of life, exhilarated,
Passionate and elated.
I can make you think you’re a god,
Think you know all the answers,
I can make you feel prodigious,
Feel beautiful, gorgeous, and unbeatable.
I will make you so spontaneous,
Take countless risks you cannot fathom.
I will make you irritated and insane
Furious with those whose pace is slower.
Then I will bring you crashing down,
Bring you plunging to the floor.
Smash your head and soul down.
I will make your thoughts crumble even
More,
Make them foggy and confused.
I can make you think you’re in hell,
Think you’ll never smile again.
I can make you feel subjacent
Feel self-hatred and resentment.
I can make you crawl on the floor until you
Drawl.
Drawl with a voice inside of you,
Telling you it can’t handle more.
73 · Aug 2020
judgment and shame
'Elgendy Aug 2020
Hello me, I think we might be in trouble
Here.
Part of me is frightened, part of me has no
Fear.
I’m trying to see myself but I can't see
Clear.
Sometimes I wonder who’s that staring
Back at me in the mirror.
A nonstop battle with myself inside.
A raging war from which I can not hide.
Questioning and worrying about my own
Trivial insecurities.
A rattling of the gears and chains inside

How can I live up to your expectations
When I can't live up to my own?
I only hope I will see the perseverance I
Have shown.
I’ll keep winning by the skin of my teeth,
Grabbing with my claws.
What I wouldn't give, to eliminate my
Flaws.

It took me so long to be open
and honest with myself.  
I was hoping it would free me from my
Mental prison cell.
I'm trying my damndest to like who I've become.
Thinking of the battles I’ve already won.
If I only focus on the past that I hate so much,
I’ll never have the future I want to love
My judgment of myself is raining hell
From above.
No self-pride here, just judgment and
Shame keeping me from being my best.’
I’ve got no time for second place, you want me
To beat the rest.

How do you expect me to live up to your expectations
when I can't live up to my own?
I only hope you’ll see the perseverance I
Have shown.

I’ve tried so **** hard to be the girl you
Want me to be.
But my constant worrying will never set me free
I try still as every day goes by to be
A better version of me
For you.

— The End —