I miss you
and I'm sorry that I do
but,
I do,
I miss you

I remember the way
you looked at me
with so much disgust
with so much hate
it made me feel unwanted
it made me feel like a bug
I'd say that was the first time
I ever truly hated you
It's been two years
and I cannot forget
the way you looked at me
with so much hate
with so much disgust

I think
a part of me died
when you did
I wish,
the roles
were reversed
and I was the one
who died
instead.
the world
would have been
a better place
if you were here
instead of me.
it wouldn't matter
if I were alive or dead
but you on the other hand
you, my darling
you would have made
all the difference
in the universe

I am
so angry
all of the time
and
I think
I am going to
drown
in my own rage

I hate it
because
I don't know if I want
time to move faster
or to stop altogether
everyday
is a repetition
of the day before
I hate living as much
as the person
I'm becoming

They say
home
is where
the heart is
but
if my heart is with you
then,
where does that
leave me...?