my heart breaks
when I hear you

minute by minute
day by day

how can you not see
that you deserve the world?
that you've suffered enough
that you are enough
that all I think about is
taking your pain
and enduring it myself

just so I can see you at ease
I wouldn't complain
not even once
not ever

some days are light
some days are nice
it's easy to laugh
and it's easy to be happy
but,
other days are heavy
really heavy
where I don't want to smile
where I don't enjoy
how nice the weather is
and little things
don't make me as happy

my love,
I can think of so many
things to say to you
but when I see you
I get tongue-tied
and if I say what I'm thinking
it will never come out
the way I want it to
that's what YOU do to me
you affect me with your existence
I'm sitting here,
writing this
after I read yours a thousand times
the thought in itself
is sickening
how I love the way
you make me feel
so much
but all I do is hear you speak,
hoping that one day,
I can tell you
how much you mean to me
that my darling,
you are more than words
will ever be

I can't kiss you sorry...
I can't kiss you goodnight...
I can't kiss you goodbye...
I just can't...
I don't think,
I can ever again...

your ******* condescending laugh
your sarcastic tone
I hate them
I hate so many things
about you now
I wonder how long it's gonna
take til I hate
you as a whole.

my heart felt heavy
not metaphorically
but physically
because someone said
something to me that
made me uneasy
and made my heart
physically heavy
not light heavy,
but heavy heavy
like someone was
stomping on my
heart
and stepping on my
chest

if I'm being honest,
there's this anger
inside of me
all the time.
sometimes it's light
and I don't feel it, but
other times
I can't control it
sometimes, I let it out
on people
then it becomes worse.
this anger...
it never goes away
it's always here
it's tainting my heart
but sometimes,
I like this anger
it makes me feel empowered
it makes me feel strong
it makes me feel like I have
something to fight for,
like I have people to fight for
my anger is towards
the opposite