There you are, peeking behind your ghost.
Good to see you little one that smirks.
The radiance of your dark side illuminates surreally.
A midnight blue bathed in moon dust for all to see.

Up in the sky reeling around in temperance.
Your cold resolved by your relentless mystery.
You hide your face and turn your back to us.
There we see all your wounds and try to map your valleys. 

Yet you keep your secrets to yourself all to well.
What are those wounds that have marred your very soul?
So much that all you have left is an orbit.
What sadness do you know as you cry silently?

As you turn your back and show us your Ghost side.

When I can't see the stars or hear the laughter
When I can't remember why there's tears on my face
When my thoughts of you when we're finally through
Can I put them all away someplace

When my day is over and I'm found waning
When that moment in time takes it's seat
I wish to remember you fair when I arrive there
Oh how that would ever be so sweet.

Won't you come to take me home
Be there at my side
To a place that is fair and your always there
I'll no longer need a reason to hide

Won't you guide me to the pasture
I'll take your hand lead the way
To a better world that's never unfurled
To a much needed restful day

When moments seem like days and minutes forever
I need your memory to always be there
I want to remember your eyes saying there stories not lies
I'll nod and say that is fair

For if I forget everyone I've ever known
Just keep your memory safe somewhere
If that can't be then God set me free
I'll be ready to go right then and there

Won't you come to take me home
Be there at my side
To a place that is fair and your always there
I'll no longer need a reason to hide


Won't you guide me to the pasture
I'll take your hand lead the way
To a better world that's never unfurled
To a much needed restful day

God, just askin' to get a message to you 
My heart is broken through and through
I've been dreamin' so many bad things
It's tearin' my heart apart

God, just wondering if your there
The moments seem long, you don't seem to care
I've been dreamin' so many bad things  
It's tearin' my heart apart

I've been dreamin' of saving him
Another day standing on water
Another day of my strengths stretched to thin
Another day of what I've been after
Can't seem to see where I've been
Been just dreamin' of him

God, just been askin' what's gone wrong
My days seem short my nights to long
I've been dreamin' of saving him
Just one more lousy time

God, what's been wrong with me
That I'd put off caring enough to see
That dreamin' about him isn't given me more time
Time to see my heart in rhyme  

I've been dreamin' of saving him
Another day standing on water
Another day of my strengths stretched to thin
Another day of what I've been after
Can't seem to see where I've been
Been just dreamin' of him

God, why did he have to leave in that way
Why I'm I relivein' it every day
In my dreams it's all confusion
It's tearing my soul apart

God, are you going to leave me alone
To fight the battles I've been shown
Cause in my dreams there is no solution
It's breakin' at my heart

  
I've been dreamin' of saving him
Another day standing on water
Another day of my strengths stretched to thin
Another day of what I've been after
Can't seem to see where I've been
Been just dreamin' of him

 

What is reality, that I can yearn for a familiar situation.
To once again feel the security on one's touch, look and silence.
It is all but lost in the cycle of life which is to die.
Then die it must, but please for God's sake don't leave me alone.

It's about who is in your life, actually in it.
Not people to whom know your story or even your feelings.
It goes far beyond all that, causing me to be so angry.
I know behind every single anger there's a fear or indignation.

What a fool I've become to myself for holding out.
It is myself, I fight daily, to regain my inner posture.
I know what I am capable of so much.
Then it becomes my wise decision to do the right thing.

To fall endlessly away from an event I'd rather never see.
My spiritual life sores while the rest of me wans.
Finally I see that this could all be a very long wait.

And....
I await the coming of my next season and reason to live on. 

It started like any other washed out day.
Someone said it may rain and was surprised it wasn't.
The mornings chill lasted till afternoon causing the confusion.

Now Nature gets busy, just got to be starting something.
She's bored or perhaps woke up on the wrong side this day.
None the less, She began the colorful balance that would end Her day.

First She clears away Her menacing Clouds to allow the Sun to help.
After that She told her Clouds to change their altitude and attitude.
Then She had the gall, in a dry season no less, to ask for a bit of moisture
Knowing fully well it's been a dry season, She wanted it to look like Rain was on the way in.

As the Sun set, Her Majesty began her masterful piece of art.
It started with a mild off white pastel with a hit of pale pink on the edges of Her glorious Clouds. 
Then She spliced a ***** greyish blue at the bottom layers.
Moving right into blending the pink darker to the center of the waterless centers.
She held all that for a bit of time blending all her colors gently as She asked her Clouds to change altitude.
As the Clouds moved the pink became neon around the darker middles.
Now a diffident lavender was developing around each and every cloud as the Sun said a final farewell for the day. 
Holding on to that lavender must of been the challenge cause it kept fading in and out.
At the end the lavender was strong as the Sun slipped away and the first lonely northwest Star shone brightly in the sky.

There are so many things I'm powerless to change.
 I'm so glad sunsets are one of them.

A long, long time ago I was told what a burden I am.
Because I was a child, I believed them and was sad.
A long, long time ago I was told what a bad boy I am.
Because I was a child, I believed them and was mad.
My condition was hard for them.
My condition was sad for me.
My behavior was just sad period!
A long, long time ago I was singled out from other children.
Because my behavior was unacceptable to the adults.
A long, long time ago I was singled out from the children.
Because the children were only following the adults and I was confused.
Truth is I'm left with the aftermath.
Truth is I'm still confused.
Truth is who cares, no one.
Sorrows that no one sees.
Crying no one hears.
loneliness no one feels.
It's no longer long ago and yet I'm still a burden.
Now I'm a burden to myself.
It's no longer long ago and I live my life on the edge.
I feel like I have to watch everything I do or else!
It is said if a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
I know, I'm living it.
It is said if a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
I know, I'm living it and have nothing to feel guilty for.
Sad is when I can barely tie my shoes.
Mad is when I still fall for the finger under the nose trick each and every time.
Confusion is when I don't trust anyone anymore.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
The only joy I receive is when I don't have to interact with anyone.
The worst of all is I'm still singled out by my peers...
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.

Know what?
I'm sick of being a child!

The beauty wasn't in the colors though they were exquisite.
The excitement wasn't in the air humidifying each breathe took.
The moment wasn't extreme for the experiences time frame.

The beauty's dependency was on the over all positioning.
The excitement became heart racing due to the full beauty.
Just for a moment the intensity became so surreal.

Something so simple came to me, transforming me in a instant.
A part of me I thought had died, woke up and made me take note.
The event was over before it started, so enchantingly.

Now was the time for a bit of remorse, I should of, could of.
This experience will never come again in a million years.
It will come again in my soul, captured for a long time.

That perfect picture of billowing clouds with undefined colors;
The air so sweet, thick so I can cut it with a butter knife;
Sweet hummingbirds flying off at the same time in unison;

Cascading flowers closing down for the end of their long day;
A light warm breeze carrying their welcoming scents to my nose.
Most important thing was having a close friend who felt the same.