Take me away,
I don't want to see another day
Take me into the screaming silence of Hell.
Give me rest, let me heal
Don't want to be a part of this spinning wheel.
Go away and never come back.
You killed me with your broken promises
You slowly broke my neck

The first is when
someone is reckless with
your heart.
and it breaks and it shatters
in ways
you never thought it could.

The second is when
You break
someone's heart
because you'll never
know pain
like the type that has you
look into their eyes
but they look away.

and the worst kind of heartbreak
is the kind that comes along
when you have to watch
the person you love
be happy
with someone else.

The shining glow that lights my path
A heartfealt gaze that always lasts
A sight more beautiful than any passed
Stops me dead in my weary tracks
Face so pure, sent from above
She steals my heart, and my undying love
I have not much, but my love and devotion
Ill give you my heart, and put it in motion
Cant buy you houses, or cars, or rings
I dont have riches, or fancy things
Still i can promise to do much better
Ill always love you, ill always be there
Ill do anything, no matter the task
I would move mountains to make love last
J promise dear, Ill find a way
To show my love, youll see some day
Ill forget the world, and stay a while
To hold you, love you, and see you **smile

Escape from reality
No where to go
As i lay on my bed
No where to go?
With these headphones i can go places
With each track is a new adventure
With these headphones its like time travel
Past. Present. Future.
You know you want to turn it up louder
The higger the volume
The deeper you go
Pause, play, pause, then play button
You are trying to groove
But cant help if you are needed
Wish these headphones could make me invisible
"Oh what do you want?
Im listening to my music."

Am i happy with my body?
pinch pinch pinch
Will you smile to the mirror
Or make yourself sick?

Is anyone okay
With who they really are?
Is 100% even possible
Give me a sign if you are?

Am i disgusted with myself?
Yeah, maybe.
With so many flaws here and there,
But i guess its alright,
I happen to love my hair.

Why cant you just back off
You dont have a chance
Youre ripping us all apart
But youre not going to win
All youre doing is causing pain
You need to just move on
You need to just be gone
Goodbye, farewell
Youre no longer welcome at this table
You need to leave fast
Before theres two more lonely people
You never were a problem
Until you forgot how to count to two
Now youre not wanted here
Its just us, no more you
Why do you think its okay
To try and rip love apart
For your own lustfull needs
You have such a selfish heart
You need to leave
All you crave is lust
Youre addicted to the drug
You dont care at all
That we're actually in love.

Thinking
Thinking
My head can't stop thinking
My scars are healing
I'm no longer bleeding
Beating
Beating
My hearts quickly beating
My heart is beating
And I can't stop thinking
You
You
You're the thoughts on my mind
You're the beating in my heart
Without you I'm blind
Wait
Wait
Slow down
Take a breath
Stop thinking so much
Make this moment last
This moment right here
My heart--it warms
Lying down
You safe in my arms
A protected protector
Saved from my mind's hell
I'll do anything to protect you
As you protect me from myself.

You haunt my dreams
Have for a while now
I try to push you out of my head
But honestly I don't know how
You have this grasp
On my heart and soul
You destroy my mind
And you don't even know
I cant seem to sleep
As you haunt every dream
Though I say I'm okay
Things are not how they seem
You look down on me
And I feel lower than dirt
You try to make me feel low
Well, guess what, it worked
I don't know what to do
I'm not sure how to deal
When no one seems to care
Just how bad you make me feel
"Just get over it"
"Just flip a switch"
Well that's kind of hard to do
When you are such a ******* *****.

You were her friend* and yet on a starless night in the back room of an empty bar, you ripped away her innocence. She did not deserve a gag on her mouth and scratches on her cheeks. Blue bruises on the inside of her thighs constantly reminding her where you'd been.

You were her friend and yet you ripped away at her clothing as easily as if you were plucking the roots of a tree, and perhaps you were, because you dug her out and left her there to wither.

You were her friend and all you gave her was forced kisses reeking of whiskey and a bed sheet stained with her nightmare. There was no remorse in your eyes as you held her down and had your way. Again and again and again. You did not even wipe her tears.

You were her friend She did not deserve the whispers and glances in the hallway, your smile reminding her of what you did and your taunts when she sees you.

She was your friend She did not deserve dreams of a rope as a necklace and thoughts of a funeral where no one came.

It doesn't matter how hard I try, to keep you inside
Every single time you arrive, it's again because of the lies
When I'm in pain, I don't want to cry, and when I start that fight
You versus I, I realize I'm floating, so I've got to blink my eye
Its okay to lose, Its okay to let it out, no reasons left to deny
How desperate the situation is, there will come a time that you'll get by
Once the first drop slides against your nose just remember, its all right
I feel them growing in my eyes now, but I know there will come dry nights

me girl in the mask
performing my role accomplishing my task
I strive for things that are useless and vain
but deep inside I'm filled with pain

She gives me self-confidence and I wear it with pride
she protects me with shelter, a safe place to hide

wherever I go, she's always so near protecting me at all costs, she has no fear

Trying to feel what it was, like feelings you can't even remember, holding someone close, loving her tender

A little while ago, I let her in, and she became part of me like a second layer of skin.

And yet so painful but also superior to me
I'm much more than the girl I thought that I ever could be
she knows no weakness and offers no surrender, holds her values high to any offender

If you have time,

Call me.
Tell me your sorrows,
Share with me your pain.
I'll face a thousand arrows,
Just to meet you in the rain.

Sing to me.
I will lend you my ears,
listen unto your melody.
I will do this for years,
Even if it becomes a felony.

Cry on me.
Pour your tears,
and let me wipe em out.
Like a handkerchief of fears,
Then you can throw me out.

Love me.
Give me the stars
and I will draw constellations.
Let's sail the seven seas
and embark the greatest fascinations.
Together, lets figure words that rhyme.

That is, if you have time.

I still love you
I don't know why I hurt you.
I think to feel so much better than you.
I'm a CuntPsychoBitch that lives in her own FantasyWorld.
But please look at me the way you did before.
I'll never hurt you again.

Even when I’m not writing

I’m writing

Spinning words in my head

My spider web mind

captures insect thoughts

lurking around the premise

A natural act

My spider web mind

threads insect thoughts in

so that they can be

Eaten up

at a later time

If its not erasing,
Its ripping.
If its not ripping,
Its cutting.
Erasing.
Ripping.
Cutting.
Treat my body like a blank canvas of paper,
Waiting to be tampered with.
Because paper is nothing until you make something of it.
Nobody frames a blank sheet of paper,
But they place priceless figures on those who are
Erased.
Ripped.
Cut.
Those who are worthy enough to be
Erased.
Ripped.
Cut.
I just want to be worthy
So i
Erase
Rip
Cut
Myself until somebody finds the beauty in me
The beauty to frame me, and hang me on a wall
To show me off to the world
To place priceless figures on me
Desperate for worth
I erase
Rip
Cut
And take it upon myself
To hang me on a wall with frayed string
Attatched to my heart
And with every spectator who looks at me
I realize that they want nothing to do with me
No matter how much i
Erased
Ripped
Cut
I was an amateur in my technique
And with every
Erasing
Rip cut
I erased my beauty
Ripped my worthiness
Cut my price
So i broke the string
That hung me to the wall
And bleached myself back to my original state
Taped my pieces back together
And ironed out my wrinkles
But the thing about paper
Is no matter how hard you try to make it as beautiful as the original
It will forever show the scars
From the battles it went through

I'm thinking maybe
It's time to move on
No matter how much
I want to hold on
I remember a time
When you held onto my heart
Now the memories are fading
And tearing me apart
I thought you were the one
I would spend forever with
Until things went south
And we slowly separated
I didn't mean for this to happen
But no one can control fate
Yet now I look in your eyes
And all I see is hate
I miss our friendship
But you brought so much darkness
I did what I had to do
But now my heart is a mess
Because of you
I'm afraid to get attached
I'm afraid to get hurt
Trust is what I lack
I hate how this has happened
But I guess it's how it has to be
Never again will there be a time
A time of you and me
I'd hoped to forget the past
And move on to a better place
But now I keep getting attacked
Keep getting slapped in the face
Why can't we be mature
Like the adults we both are
I strictly remember
Calling "no holds bar"
But you can't just move on
This I've come to see
We'll never go back
To a time of you and me
I've lost my best friend
I'll add you to the list
The list of people who left me
The people that don't care a bit
I can tell you hate me
I guess I understand
I wish I could have read our future
By the palm of my hand
I guess I'll just move on
And forget what used to be
I guess I'll just forget
That time of you and me

I cant stop crying
As my soul is dying
My heart is hurting
And my mouth is drying
I take a sip
To wet my lips
That feeling of release
Puts me at ease
Until the buzz starts to lack
And the pain rushes back
No worries
Ill just wash it back down
This time with a swig not a sip
It may be temporary
But for now Im enjoying it
The pain in my life
Seems to be on full throttle
So for now Ill find my happiness
At the bottom of a bottle
The smooth gold liquid
Taking place of my tears
Caused by the pain
From all of these years
I still cant stop crying
As my soul is still dying
My heart is still hurting
But at least my mouth isnt drying.

So small in your youth
But you were taken away
At such a young age
What a dreadfull day
Though we never met
Stories I have heard
Now I'll never get the chance
As you've been taken from this world
Blonde hair, blue eyes
The classic family trait
Now gone with the blink of an eye
How can we call this fate
Lifes not fair
Nor is death
You were so full of life
As you took your last breath
These things I've come to see
Of which I dont understand
These unfortunate events
I'm not sure anyone can
Can anyone understand
Why bad things always happen
To the people of least deserving
To even the kindest men
There will never again be a day
That the sun will rise to her
To reveal her smiling face
So full of joy and laughter
2 years and 17 days
Is all the time you had
But all the smiles and joy
For that I am glad
The short time we had you
Was better than none at all
You were held so high and mighty
Why did you have to fall
Death is a strong word
With such a gloomy tone
Even harder it does get
When we lose one of our own
I'll never get to hold you
As you didnt live that long
One day you were here
And the next day you were gone
Accidents happen
And they can rip us apart
And though you're no longer here
You're forever in my heart.

A love triangle
Of two rivals
One shows, but is the love really true?
One truly loves, but doesn't always show enough
A magnet stuck in the middle
Attracting the opposite pairs
Spinning from side to side
To see who really cares
It's hard to make a choice
Between true love,
And what was confused to be love
Turns out it was something else, so to say,
She thinks she's made her choice
Once the darkness goes away
But her darkness soon returns
and things never were the same
With all this confusion
I don't want to play this game
You know,
This sounds really familiar
Our story has already been written
It has already been put to paper,
By the legendary Stephanie Meyer
I'm Jacob
With my warmth, and emotions that I hide
She's Edward
With her false words, and cold darkness on the inside
So you must be Bella
Not knowing which way to bend
But Stephanie Meyer
Already told me how this would end
How about instead
A change in the story line, and fast,
How about this time
The good guy DOESN'T finish last
How about this time
The best friend doesn't take the fall.
How about this time
True love conquers all.

My mind is a battle field,
Filled with evil and goodness,
Debating
On which i should choose.

If only
Quitting the drug
Of razors on skin
Was effortless
If only
Stopping sellf starvation
Was as simple
As batting an eye

But nothing comes that easily

My mind is a bttle field
With two seperate sides,
And the wrong side
Is winning.

Relapse,
A sweet, sweet victory,
And a bitter failure..

Used
Lied to
Cheated
Defeated
You used me
And now I see
The evil soul deep in your eye
The evil soul that has made me cry
Youre a monster for making me cry
Youre a demon for making me want to die
You used me to get what you wanted
You caused so much hurt
You played me for a fool
You are such a piece of work
How could you do this?
You were supposed to be my friend
Yet you do what you can to hurt me
Is this really how you want this to end?
Why must you tear love apart
For your own selfish times
Youre not fooling anyone
I see the devil in your eyes
Cant you just accept
It wasnt meant to be
You cant force love
Just to fill your needs.

I remember the day
I remember the place
I remember the thrill
As we stood face to face
I remember your lips
How I knew you were true
But I cant remember
Did you close your eyes too?
Lay down beside me
Hold me and hide me
For your love will guide me
Through all of our good times
And all of our bad
I can honestly say
Ive never stayed mad
Cause you have a way
Of winning my heart
And I know that we
Will never be apart
So promise me baby
That youll stay
Cause I need you
Day by day

I hope everything's alright.
That you can keep up the fight.
You're gonna get through this bad time.
In the end everything's gonna be just fine.
Because you won't have to do this on your own.
I'm here for you, you'll never be alone.
Every minute of day and night,
I want to be your guiding light.
Remember that I love you with all my heart.
I never want us to be apart.
A big hug from me for you.
This will cheer you up, whatever you're going through.

Psychotic, sickly, and weird.
Dont come near,
Cuz im a freak with these fears.
Take the blade to my skin,
Draw a portrait, sink in.
Watch the blood overturn,
These emotions are stirred.
Give me some medicine,
Its alll in my head again.
Even after putting up a front for you a thousand times.
You claw at my sadness,
And pick at my madness.
Numbing out the sorrow thats deep inside.
But everything fades,
Like the sun on a rainy day.
These pills arent enough,
Choking on nothing more than cigarette dust,
Waiting on that novitine rush,
All the while im feeling crushed.
Take a breath
Is all theyve got to say,
Well im breathing,
Still im not okay.
Suffocating,
And keep breathing,
All it takes is one single step i say,
End this madness, im all strung up,
Caught in a mess,
That i dont want to adress.
Fixating on all those things they say,
But whats wrong?
I made a left turn,
I do this to myself.

A shot to **** the pain
A pill to drain the shame
A purge to stop the gain
A cut to break the vein
A smoke to ease the crave
A drink to win the game.
An addiction's and addiction,
Because it always hurts the same.

There is no way out,
I'm trapped in this hell hole people call life,
I feel as if I don't belong here,
I'm just passing through with no purpose anymore,
I'm scared,
It's getting darker,
I don't know where to turn,
Every bridge has been burned,
But I'm running out of time,
What do I do?
Where do I go?
I'm lost,
I can't find my way back,
Nothing looks familiar,
I don't know where I am,
I have wandered too far out,
I have lost myself,
and who I truly am,
It"s pitch black,
I'm alone.

Wondering when it was
I lost myself to reality.

Wondering why the wind sounds so wrong,
And how long ago was it that it lost its song.
Wondering how many days ago
Was it that the thorn bush lost its rose.
Wondering when the face in the mirror
Seemed to smile, but only shed those tears,
Wondersing what it was like to be a star,
And not the aching within a scar.

Im four years old again
Eyes wide open and unseeing,
Trying to figure out,
What it is i must be believing.

Im four years old again
And im breathing.
*Im breathing

Sittin' crying a river
Sleepless night feelin' sick
Because I can' stop thinking how she mistreated me
I can't believe you left us like this
One fight no one risks
Just leaving
I'm tired of my heart
Being broken
I'm tired of these tears
Falling down my face
I'm tired of this love
Being taken
why did you go away?
There's one thing I must ask of you
one thing
I gotta ask of you
why you let her take your love away?
I'm tired of my heart
Being broken
I'm tired of these tears
Falling down my face
I'm tired of this love
Being taken
why did you go away?

You used me
took what you needed
caused me so much pain
and left me here wounded
I've lost so many people
to the sword in your hand
did you ever care at all
or is this all what you planned
the sense of your presence
makes my head pound
and my heart always sinks
when you make any sound
after all that I've done
and sacrificed for you
can you do me one favor
and plan my funeral