You haunt my dreams
Have for a while now
I try to push you out of my head
But honestly I don't know how
You have this grasp
On my heart and soul
You destroy my mind
And you don't even know
I cant seem to sleep
As you haunt every dream
Though I say I'm okay
Things are not how they seem
You look down on me
And I feel lower than dirt
You try to make me feel low
Well, guess what, it worked
I don't know what to do
I'm not sure how to deal
When no one seems to care
Just how bad you make me feel
"Just get over it"
"Just flip a switch"
Well that's kind of hard to do
When you are such a ******* *****.

Pain takes nice people
And turns them to evil things
Words of terror bring them down
Down to the end of their beings.
Pain has changed me
To this morbid person
I cant write of love
I have no reason
I try and try
With no success
No matter what i try to write
It just ends in a mess
Pieces of poems
No one understands
These words i speak
I form with my hands
These words i write
Are filled with demons from my head
I can no longer love
My heart is officially dead
Hung up on your tree
Your tree of love
Hung from a noose
A rope from above
You are on my mind
And in my head
I should be happy
I should be dead
Why am i like this
Only bad thoughts
Why am i like this
Head is always hot
Can never be happy
It always turns bad
For real or in my head
I am always sad
Trapped in my heads prison
Can never seem to escape
Chained down from being happy
My life is one big mistake
No one can ever love me
And the demons in my head
Sometimes i wonder
If id be better off dead

The shining glow that lights my path
A heartfealt gaze that always lasts
A sight more beautiful than any passed
Stops me dead in my weary tracks
Face so pure, sent from above
She steals my heart, and my undying love
I have not much, but my love and devotion
Ill give you my heart, and put it in motion
Cant buy you houses, or cars, or rings
I dont have riches, or fancy things
Still i can promise to do much better
Ill always love you, ill always be there
Ill do anything, no matter the task
I would move mountains to make love last
J promise dear, Ill find a way
To show my love, youll see some day
Ill forget the world, and stay a while
To hold you, love you, and see you **smile

You used me
took what you needed
caused me so much pain
and left me here wounded
I've lost so many people
to the sword in your hand
did you ever care at all
or is this all what you planned
the sense of your presence
makes my head pound
and my heart always sinks
when you make any sound
after all that I've done
and sacrificed for you
can you do me one favor
and plan my funeral

A door
Some walls with windows
Darkness inside
With the blinds always closed
How can someone
Be expected to call this home
And empty building
Where you sit all alone
But here she comes
Shining bright
Bringing sunshine
Opening the blinds
I feel her warmth
Radiate from her soul
Im no longer alone
This house is full
Her beauty so breathtaking
From her head to her feet
With her in my arms
My life is complete
My only wish
Is to spend forever with you
My only hope
Is that you love me too
'Cause with you in my heart
Im never alone
And with you in my life
Ive finally found my home.

I remember the day
I remember the place
I remember the thrill
As we stood face to face
I remember your lips
How I knew you were true
But I cant remember
Did you close your eyes too?
Lay down beside me
Hold me and hide me
For your love will guide me
Through all of our good times
And all of our bad
I can honestly say
Ive never stayed mad
Cause you have a way
Of winning my heart
And I know that we
Will never be apart
So promise me baby
That youll stay
Cause I need you
Day by day

if lips are made for kissing,
why can't I kiss you?
if arms are made for holding,
why can't I hold you?
if a voice is made for talking,
why can't I talk to you?
why can't you see,
I really need you here with me,
why can't my life be perfect...
why don't you want to be with me?
why do I feel pain, thinking that you're never thinking about me!
why does love hurt, when it's supposed to feel good?
why is my life,
not like it should?
why can't you give me one chance, to prove my love?
cause I am sure, you are sent from up above!
knowing that you love me, would make me so happy!
cause now life is nothing like it's supposed to be,
days are dark, summer is cold,
gold is silver, and silver is gold...
love is hurting, pain is here...
my heart is breaking, you're not near!
you're just in my head, in my heart, in my mind...
and I will never be able to leave you behind!

Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm strong.
But what's the meaning when you ain't coming home?
So I go inside and close this door, and as I have so many times before.
I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
I've tried to hold on to what we've had and go on.
All the time I have to deny, this pain I feel inside.
If only I could, I would.
Beg you to stay, down on my knees, bleeding screaming
" Please, don't go away..."

It doesn't matter how hard I try, to keep you inside
Every single time you arrive, it's again because of the lies
When I'm in pain, I don't want to cry, and when I start that fight
You versus I, I realize I'm floating, so I've got to blink my eye
Its okay to lose, Its okay to let it out, no reasons left to deny
How desperate the situation is, there will come a time that you'll get by
Once the first drop slides against your nose just remember, its all right
I feel them growing in my eyes now, but I know there will come dry nights

Take me away,
I don't want to see another day
Take me into the screaming silence of Hell.
Give me rest, let me heal
Don't want to be a part of this spinning wheel.
Go away and never come back.
You killed me with your broken promises
You slowly broke my neck

I wish I was strong like I used to be
Before hurt and pain weakened me
Then this wouldn't hurt so much
All I need is your gentle touch...
You know who you are and what I mean
You know that you are... a part of my dream...

me girl in the mask
performing my role accomplishing my task
I strive for things that are useless and vain
but deep inside I'm filled with pain

She gives me self-confidence and I wear it with pride
she protects me with shelter, a safe place to hide

wherever I go, she's always so near protecting me at all costs, she has no fear

Trying to feel what it was, like feelings you can't even remember, holding someone close, loving her tender

A little while ago, I let her in, and she became part of me like a second layer of skin.

And yet so painful but also superior to me
I'm much more than the girl I thought that I ever could be
she knows no weakness and offers no surrender, holds her values high to any offender

Sittin' crying a river
Sleepless night feelin' sick
Because I can' stop thinking how she mistreated me
I can't believe you left us like this
One fight no one risks
Just leaving
I'm tired of my heart
Being broken
I'm tired of these tears
Falling down my face
I'm tired of this love
Being taken
why did you go away?
There's one thing I must ask of you
one thing
I gotta ask of you
why you let her take your love away?
I'm tired of my heart
Being broken
I'm tired of these tears
Falling down my face
I'm tired of this love
Being taken
why did you go away?

Quit playing games with my heart,
because slowly i'm falling apart.
Just be honest and say you don't love me,
i'm feeling so much pain, can't you see.
I love you so very much,
and I miss your kiss, your touch.
Can't you see I miss all of you,
but I have to see that we're through.
It's hard for me to believe,
but there is no more love left to receive.
I hope some day i'll be okay,
for now I think it's better this way.

You were always there for me,
You held the key,
To my heart,
But somebody turned the card,
You somehow got lost in your tracks,
And you forgot the facts,
You were somehow not there anymore,
You walked out the door,
I couldn't see you and I felt so alone,
From that day on you were gone,
And I swear I don't know what went wrong,
But I'm missing you from that day on,
I cannot live without you,
Don't know what to do,
Everyday that passes by,
I cry,
Every tear that falls down here,
Is a memory of you wishing you could hear,
Me crying out for your love,
'Cause there's just nothing above,
I love you so much,
And I know you love me still, 'cause,
I feel you in my heart still,
Only if you would come back I could find the will,
To carry on again, I would be so glad,
If I would see you again, without you everything feels so bad,
My heart is bruised and broken,
A kind of loneliness has stroke,
And I can't breath without you,
And I can't see without you,
Every night you're on my mind,
By candlelight I pray for the will to fight,
Against the feeling of emptiness,
But it somehow infatuates me and I return trying to stop the crying until dust,
I can't take it anymore,
I can't sleep anymore,
I can't eat anymore,
I can't sleep anymore,
I can't dream anymore,
I can't love anyone anymore,
Only you, 'Caus you have a part of me,
Can't you see,
If you would come back to me,
How happy I would be,
I miss you, so much, I linger for you, Come back,
Somehow you are gone,
But I can still see you,
But it's just a memory,
Without you I only worry,
Why are you gone?
A part of me has left me alone,
I've missed you,
Why are you gone?

You spit my name off your lips
Like it actually pains you to speak it.
The way your face has that look
"You're such a *******"
I know I'm a **** up
You don't have to share
I know I don't belong here
I know you don't care.
You have birthed 3 children
But you only claim 2
You don't raise me, but tolerate me
I can see the toll I take on you.
You don't want me in this world
You wish I'd never been born
I only cause you pain
Because of me you're torn
Your life would be prefect
If I hadn't come along
You're life would be perfect
If you didn't have to be my mom.

I'm sorry that I said: I'm sorry
but I had something about to worry..
I'm sorry I told you things wich I shouldn't tell
but I couldn't save this hell

I hope you're not angry, hope you understand
I try to hold you close, but I can't
I wish, wish you were here,
but you aren't, but in someway you're near

Sorry for telling you my deepest pain
but I felt like I was locked in a chain
Now I hate myself for telling you
all that matters and all that I knew

What I told you was a fear of me
the fear is gone since I'm with you, see
hope you don't feel teared
crying, screaming I'm so scared..

I'm alone, alone listening to the sea
the sea which I made down on my knee
I hope you don't mind if I cry
Cause I still don't understand why I told you , why

while I'm crying and writing this piece of poetry
I want you to hold me, I want you to see
how much I care, how much I love you
I want you to know I really do

I still love you
I don't know why I hurt you.
I think to feel so much better than you.
I'm a CuntPsychoBitch that lives in her own FantasyWorld.
But please look at me the way you did before.
I'll never hurt you again.

I hope everything's alright.
That you can keep up the fight.
You're gonna get through this bad time.
In the end everything's gonna be just fine.
Because you won't have to do this on your own.
I'm here for you, you'll never be alone.
Every minute of day and night,
I want to be your guiding light.
Remember that I love you with all my heart.
I never want us to be apart.
A big hug from me for you.
This will cheer you up, whatever you're going through.

Why cant you just back off
You dont have a chance
Youre ripping us all apart
But youre not going to win
All youre doing is causing pain
You need to just move on
You need to just be gone
Goodbye, farewell
Youre no longer welcome at this table
You need to leave fast
Before theres two more lonely people
You never were a problem
Until you forgot how to count to two
Now youre not wanted here
Its just us, no more you
Why do you think its okay
To try and rip love apart
For your own lustfull needs
You have such a selfish heart
You need to leave
All you crave is lust
Youre addicted to the drug
You dont care at all
That we're actually in love.

In this life I live
Ive felt a lot of hurt
And Ive learned to forgive.

No things didnt really go as intended
But you have to keep looking up
And always keep a good head.

People will definitely make mistakes
They'll hurt you more than you thought
But you'll need to know which battles to fight,
And when to just move on

This world is filled with hate and love
The people you love can treat you like trash
But thats why you learn to forgive
If you ever want love to last

You used me
Made me cry
Took what you wanted
Left me here to die
In shock with so much pain
I dont know what to do
Now its starting to rain
I still cant seem to move
The bruises sink through
And penetrate my heart
You left me without a warning
Said we'd never be apart
No more tears can flow
My body is paralyzed
With this pain that has been caused
By the demons in your eyes
My world that once was full of light
Has now gone pitch black
I cant see through this darkness
Even when i try to look back
Lost, spinning in circles
Darkness everywhere i go
Where do i go from here
Honestly...i dont know
My world has just been shattered
And no one understands
I have a fragile heart
You once held in your hands
I trusted you to keep it safe
Cover it through the storm
Trusted you to hold it close
And always keep it warm
Instead you played a game
Used it as a ball
Kicked it across the field
And laughed as you watched it fall
It shattered to tiny pieces
Broken on impact
Now it can never be repaired
Never be fully intact
I was left to tape the pieces back together
Maybe itll be alright
Hey, i think i finally fixed it
Oh..no..that doesnt look right
Its missing the piece that says your name
And without you, it can never be the same

Used
Lied to
Cheated
Defeated
You used me
And now I see
The evil soul deep in your eye
The evil soul that has made me cry
Youre a monster for making me cry
Youre a demon for making me want to die
You used me to get what you wanted
You caused so much hurt
You played me for a fool
You are such a piece of work
How could you do this?
You were supposed to be my friend
Yet you do what you can to hurt me
Is this really how you want this to end?
Why must you tear love apart
For your own selfish times
Youre not fooling anyone
I see the devil in your eyes
Cant you just accept
It wasnt meant to be
You cant force love
Just to fill your needs.

That can never be lost
You can try to call it love
But at what cost
You can try to hold on
When you really should move on
Because that spark will fade
Until eventually its gone
Once its finally gone
Itll be just you two
Youll realize there was no love
Youll see how youve been used
When that time finally comes
Just take a glance around
Youll see me, arms open
Because Ill never back down
I know that day youll see
Just whose love was true
And then in the end
It can finally be just us two
I know it hurts to move on
But you were like her pill
She never truley loved you
The way I always will
Youll always remember your first
That memory will always last
But now its time to move on
And leave the past in the past
Im here to help you heal
I know I can help you through
I know you can be happy
And most of all, I know I love you

I more broken than ever before
Sitting silently on the floor
Not knowing which way to go
Either way I lost, I already know.
A side of me wants to go away
But the other side wants to stay
I cant decide whats better
Because I know you'll always chose her.
She's much better than me anyway
Guess you'd be better if I didn't stay
You could finally be happy
And never have to worry
About me or my ****** up depression
These bad thoughts that seem to never end
I don't know what to do
When I see you with her
My heart breaks more every time
But I can see you're full of laughter.
She makes you happier than I ever could
If I just disappeared
Your life would be good.
You hurt me
She hurt me
But I don't care
As long as you're both happy
I've realized I think just like everybody
I put myself second, never first
Because I'm not good enough to be
Even if I'm not the worst.
You like me for who I am?
Great.
That doesn't change that you have someone better
Someone you once said you hate.
I guess she is better
In a way I don't understand
At least she can make you happy
Since I never can.
I don't think I can stand by
And hide how I cry
I don't think I can stand by
When all I want to do is die.
You need to choose one or the other
I hate that its come to this
But I cant take the heartbreak
You're easier to just miss.
I didn't want things to be like this,
I never wanted to make you choose
But you already made your choice
I guess someone had to lose
Im sorry I have to leave
But I cant be okay
When you're with someone else
And I'm left to die and decay.
I don't want to lose you
But I guess I have to go
I'll always remember you
The way you made my heart glow.
I don't want to leave
But my heart can't stay
I don't want to bring you down
Because I'm not okay
I wish it didn't have to be like this
I wish it was just us two
But you're happier with her
And there's no more me and you
I guess I'll move on
So you don't have to worry
I guess I'll just leave
So you can finally be happy.

"*******"
"*******"
"You're such a *****"
"*******"
"You're ******* up your life"
"*******"

Your words echo in my head
Like shrapnel from the knife that stabbed me in the heart
Words you can never take back
Words that tore us apart
How could you do this
To someone you say you love
"Forever and always I promise"
Turned into all of the above
I've given up on people
On the hope of being SOMEONE'S first choice
I'll never be good enough
I'm just the back up toy
Replaced by everyone
Loved by none
Attacked by everyone
And when I look up, they're all gone
I sit here alone
For I can never win
I'll sit in my broken pieces
Until I can love again
Just the **** up that is me
Alone with the thoughts in my head
Always silently crying
Wishing I was dead.

And maybe if i close my EYES.
You wont see the pain i hide INSIDE.
Cant get over all this HURT.
And maybe if i only mourn INSIDE.
You wont see the pain you put into my EYES.

I lost.
was defeated.
im tired
and im heated
Never knowing what to think
When no one heres to blame
I was flushed down the sink
Defeated by this game.
Im fighting to stay strong
Everything is so wrong
So ill sit alone in the ditch,
Because no one can love a *****.
Ill sit here alone,
While you go off and be free
Ill sit back and watch
As you can finally be happy.

I cant stop crying
As my soul is dying
My heart is hurting
And my mouth is drying
I take a sip
To wet my lips
That feeling of release
Puts me at ease
Until the buzz starts to lack
And the pain rushes back
No worries
Ill just wash it back down
This time with a swig not a sip
It may be temporary
But for now Im enjoying it
The pain in my life
Seems to be on full throttle
So for now Ill find my happiness
At the bottom of a bottle
The smooth gold liquid
Taking place of my tears
Caused by the pain
From all of these years
I still cant stop crying
As my soul is still dying
My heart is still hurting
But at least my mouth isnt drying.

I dont know
If things can ever be the same
You walked out on me
Through the same door you came
I can try to convince myself all I want
Say Im no longer a choice
But I cant fool myself
With the falseness in my voice
I love you
I want you
But you dont want me
So I guess Ill pretend
And just set you free
Ill pretend to be okay
Though this smile is a lie
For once you look away
I cant help but cry
After all of this
You might think me a fool, like the rest
But Id come running back
At the sound of your request.

Is that really better than dying
Im sitting here trying
All youre doing is goodbye-ing
My heart is breaking
My body's shaking
I wish I was dreaming
Im no longer breathing
The world is turning
But I'm not moving
Instead Im stuck here crying
Still wishing I was dying.

So small in your youth
But you were taken away
At such a young age
What a dreadfull day
Though we never met
Stories I have heard
Now I'll never get the chance
As you've been taken from this world
Blonde hair, blue eyes
The classic family trait
Now gone with the blink of an eye
How can we call this fate
Lifes not fair
Nor is death
You were so full of life
As you took your last breath
These things I've come to see
Of which I dont understand
These unfortunate events
I'm not sure anyone can
Can anyone understand
Why bad things always happen
To the people of least deserving
To even the kindest men
There will never again be a day
That the sun will rise to her
To reveal her smiling face
So full of joy and laughter
2 years and 17 days
Is all the time you had
But all the smiles and joy
For that I am glad
The short time we had you
Was better than none at all
You were held so high and mighty
Why did you have to fall
Death is a strong word
With such a gloomy tone
Even harder it does get
When we lose one of our own
I'll never get to hold you
As you didnt live that long
One day you were here
And the next day you were gone
Accidents happen
And they can rip us apart
And though you're no longer here
You're forever in my heart.

Are you asking how I know?
Well I guess I could tell you,
Let's give it a go.
I know I'm in love by the way my heart pounds,
Don't you hear it?
It makes a very distinct sound.
I know that it's true, because I'm not one to blush.
But this feeling she gives me, is this incredible rush.
What do I mean?
Well, my heart will skip a beat or two,
My stomach does flips,
If only you knew.
I get light headed,
And I don't know how to explain why,
But I get so happy, whenever she's at my side.
My pulse will quicken, and my hands will shake.
She's always on my mind, for goodness sake.
I lose my breath, when she kisses me.
It's so overwhelming, I get weak in the knees.
All my thoughts seem to just disappear,
Anytime she comes anywhere near.
And when she's gone, my days seem to never end.
With a deep anticipation to see her again.
To have her lips pressed up against mine,
Or even our fingers, to be intertwined.
She makes me forget everything bad.
And makes me the happiest whenever I'm sad.
I could spend all day and forever by her side,
Because it honestly is nice not having to hide.
Hide from what?
I'll write about that another day.
But as of right now,
I can honestly say.
This is true happiness,
I know, at long last,
Oh look, there she is now,
And my heart's beating fast.

I was reading my notebook
Dedicated to you
All the different colors
Pink, green, purple, and blue.
I was so drawn
Into writings of past years
And when it finally ended
It left me in tears.
As I flipped through the pages
I was stopped dead in my tracks
When the pages went blank
And I couldn't turn back.
I had reached the end
Not even halfway through
This unfinished story
Of both me and you.
My heart kind of sank
When I saw it was through
But it's time to move on
And I'll always remember you.

Thinking
Thinking
My head can't stop thinking
My scars are healing
I'm no longer bleeding
Beating
Beating
My hearts quickly beating
My heart is beating
And I can't stop thinking
You
You
You're the thoughts on my mind
You're the beating in my heart
Without you I'm blind
Wait
Wait
Slow down
Take a breath
Stop thinking so much
Make this moment last
This moment right here
My heart--it warms
Lying down
You safe in my arms
A protected protector
Saved from my mind's hell
I'll do anything to protect you
As you protect me from myself.

Love is a funny thing...
It's the most beautiful and most exhilarating emotion one can feel. It can change your whole life, it can help you live longer, happier, and let you be at peace when you die...if it's mutual...if it's not, however, it can slowly break your heart to the point that you no longer want to live and you're restless at night, and constantly dream about the one you loved and didn't love you back, and if it gets worse you drive yourself to suicide, and write a letter to that person, and die without ever knowing their response. Love is a funny thing, it can be a life changer--for better...or for worse.

No words
Just pain
All loss
No gain
A complicated life
Is all ive ever had
No one understands
I think im going mad
No place where i belong
No place to call home
This pain is overtaking
I just feel so alone
Im not sure where to go
When all the roads are black
All the doors have closed
Its getting hard to fight back
Im trying to hold my breath
Til im finally out of the dark
Ive been pounding on these rocks
To make at least a spark
A spark to call my own
A spark thats full of hope
That maybe light will soon be there
And no longer will i mope
Im tired of all these voices
Screaming and shouting in my ear
I sit here all alone
Just waiting for smoke to clear
Once its all gone away
Its just me standing in the street
Waiting for a car to come
And knock me off my feet
Im not really sure
If its worth all the regret
To feel an ounce of belonging
Is all ive ever needed
Ive been trying to get better
To get passed all this pain
But even the strongest people
Tire of dancing in the rain
Im not really sure
How things will all turn out
Or if anyone will ever understand
These words flowing from my mouth.

I'm thinking maybe
It's time to move on
No matter how much
I want to hold on
I remember a time
When you held onto my heart
Now the memories are fading
And tearing me apart
I thought you were the one
I would spend forever with
Until things went south
And we slowly separated
I didn't mean for this to happen
But no one can control fate
Yet now I look in your eyes
And all I see is hate
I miss our friendship
But you brought so much darkness
I did what I had to do
But now my heart is a mess
Because of you
I'm afraid to get attached
I'm afraid to get hurt
Trust is what I lack
I hate how this has happened
But I guess it's how it has to be
Never again will there be a time
A time of you and me
I'd hoped to forget the past
And move on to a better place
But now I keep getting attacked
Keep getting slapped in the face
Why can't we be mature
Like the adults we both are
I strictly remember
Calling "no holds bar"
But you can't just move on
This I've come to see
We'll never go back
To a time of you and me
I've lost my best friend
I'll add you to the list
The list of people who left me
The people that don't care a bit
I can tell you hate me
I guess I understand
I wish I could have read our future
By the palm of my hand
I guess I'll just move on
And forget what used to be
I guess I'll just forget
That time of you and me

A love triangle
Of two rivals
One shows, but is the love really true?
One truly loves, but doesn't always show enough
A magnet stuck in the middle
Attracting the opposite pairs
Spinning from side to side
To see who really cares
It's hard to make a choice
Between true love,
And what was confused to be love
Turns out it was something else, so to say,
She thinks she's made her choice
Once the darkness goes away
But her darkness soon returns
and things never were the same
With all this confusion
I don't want to play this game
You know,
This sounds really familiar
Our story has already been written
It has already been put to paper,
By the legendary Stephanie Meyer
I'm Jacob
With my warmth, and emotions that I hide
She's Edward
With her false words, and cold darkness on the inside
So you must be Bella
Not knowing which way to bend
But Stephanie Meyer
Already told me how this would end
How about instead
A change in the story line, and fast,
How about this time
The good guy DOESN'T finish last
How about this time
The best friend doesn't take the fall.
How about this time
True love conquers all.

Head pounding
Heart breaking
You're not in reach
Yet I hear you saying
"I love you, I want you"
But not enough
You left me here
My heart turned to dust
I'm walking a tight rope
Being pulled to both sides
Soon I'll just fall
I guess it was a good ride
A good ride while it lasted
But I see it's all over
You may still love me
But you also love her
I don't really blame you
I'm not one to keep
No matter what I do
Everyone leaves
I'm not anything special
In is not where I fit
I guess that's why people leave
But, don't worry, I'm used to it.

Whenever a toy broke, it was replaced,
And if we found broken glass,
We were told to stay away, it's dangerous,
I guess that's why it's hard to fix the broken hearted,
Too many people are scared,
Of the nicks and cuts they will get from helping us,
So we just remain like broken glass,
Until someone cleans us up or puts us back together,
It's their decision what to do with our broken pieces.