Who,
or what, would you be running from,
or to?
Would you be aiming for a vacation, some relaxing,
a respite in the sand?
Or would you be trying to escape something,
or someone,
that is persistently after you in this moment?
Upon prompt,
did your mind flip to a lover's arms, a safe place of warmth
or did your stomach drop
at the thought of a pair of cold,
sharp eyes you'd love to hide from?

Or are you one of the lucky ones,
one of the blessed that feels no discomfort in this exact place and time?

For me, this has only existed in time, not space.
A time when the words in my mind echo the advice I give with love-
"Be kind to yourself."
"Stand tall, chin up."
"Things will get better."
It is a time when I feel peace in all the parts of my body
That are usually tense like an unmaintained machine,
Or when I take a deep breath,
And upon exhale I melt into a puddle of rest-
Not in defeat,
But in comfort.

He gripped her hand and called her "dangerously beautiful,"
From a place one could only describe as where his broken pieces must lie.
Who taught this man the lesson,
That someone could be a such pleasure to behold,
So much that he'd face punishment for enjoying it?
Who is the source of the fear he held in his eyes,
As he clutched her hand, frozen,
Silently expecting her to rake his heart across the coals?

Today I hope you're able to get through the whole day with confidence,
With a lust for life that shines through your smile.
Today I hope you are enough for yourself.

Today I hope the mistakes you made yesterday fade into last week,
Last month,
Until they're lost to time forever.
Today I hope you can forgive yourself.

Today I hope time slows down and you can wallow in happiness,
That you drown in euphoria and the sound of laughter deafens your tears.
Today I hope you finally dream of tomorrow.

In 5 years, you are going to remove all mirrors and reflective surfaces from your home because of what you are doing to yourself, right now.
Every day that passes, you **** a little bit more of the hope that you can beat this forever.

In 10 years, you'll think you're so healed that being the size of 2 of you now, is something you're actually proud of.  But in 14 years, you'll be sliding so dangerously, head first and upside down, right back into the hole you'll swear you had filled in.

And in 15 years, you'll be writing this letter, begging for the slightest hope that in another life, this message will reach you before that last bite.

Darkness pours in and dampens the shimmer of my stars.
My voice is lost to the expanse before me,
Muted as my soul searches for your echo.
The silence is deafening but the music we made keeps my heart on repeat.