You're bleeding.
You're getting it all over me,
All over my ****.
You're leaking it on everything
And it's going everywhere.
It's already in every part of my life,
I made a mistake
And took memories of you everywhere
And left them lay.
Now you've become part of my day,
Part of my night.
I put you away
And you still find a place to sneak in.
You warned me,
You didn't want this.
But here I am,
Trying to figure out
Whether I want to clean it up or just throw it out.

Maybe I'll be presented
With something of higher priority
That I'll choose to ignore
Because the threat of being with you
Looms over me like a pinata,
Just slightly out of my reach.

You know,
Maybe might
Actually sting worse
Than an outright no.

If I could breathe under water,
I'd swim to the bottom of the ocean
So when I resurface,
I'll remember I can get much lower than this.

Lying in bed,
A mattress on the floor.
No sheets, but a beer in hand.
The darkness doesn't phase me,
The clock on the wall still blinks from last week's storm. I won't reset it.
I don't want to know what time it is. I don't care.
No sounds arise but the breath of a sweet old dog in the corner.
At least I'm not alone,
And she doesn't care how many beers I've had.

At the end of the day, sometimes I'm sick of taking care of everyone else.
Who the **** is going to take care of me for once?

Sure, it's strong
And beautiful
And poetic
And modern to take care of myself.
Because, woman, and roar,
And I can do it too.

But what about the days when I just don't have the energy left to?
What if I just can't.
Then what? Who?

I cover my face with my hands even when I cry alone
Because I learned pretty early on that you're the only one who can actually dry your tears,
For the same reason that I Crack ****** jokes
To an empty room,
Because laughter after crying always has so much more power behind it.

I just want to remember what it's like to feel warmth from another soul,
Let it shine on me without fear or hiding from the light.
I want to go back to when I didn't feel like I had anything to run from,
Anyone I had to escape before I could feel worthy of taking a new hand.
I want to demolish these walls that I had to build
Just to prove I could keep myself safe
And sane,
Because I'm tired of being the only one on this side.