Your smile always changed the atmosphere,
offered so much warmth to the frigid world.
This only happened when you came out.
The clouds shifted to embellish your smile
which was like tiny photons prancing in the sky:
fascinating intrigued children, captivating the photographer's gaze,
assisting the dandelions with their roar.

Your smile was so genuine, authentic.
So white
so spotless
perfectly aligned,
lacking only in hue.
It seemed nothing could taint your smile.

I detested that!
Jealousy and rage devoured me.

I made a move!
****** weapon of choice
a 5.5-inch cold carbon stainless steel knife
clutched in the palm of my hand.

Mouth agape in dubiety,
your smile losing to shock and uncertainty
fueled my starving impulses,
before I knew it you were covered.
The deepest hue of dark red I have ever seen,
warming my cold hands.
So beautiful indeed
the sun, at last, had reached the east.

You are a living paradox
Your actions contradict your statements
Your arrogance pollutes the air
As you claim to be the best while insulting others
Your  abusive words slice my skin over and over
And I scream wanting to die but I never bleed out
I am always kept alive
Nursed back to health
Just before another deadly assault happens again
I try to win my battles
But I am only a child
My victory is a mere figment

Are you that  ignorant or are you playing dumb
Trying to deceive your own self that you are a saint when you are the fallen angel himself
I stand here with scars that are not visible to the eyes
But scars that have tainted my heart
But  scars that have to thicken my skin
But scars that have conquered my brain
In essence, I am a soldier that has lost his will
His will to live
His will to go on
Eventually, the trauma will seep in
Causing irreversible brain damage

The piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit
Is the epitome of me  
I am forever an outcast

However, I wasn't cast out
I walked out
And now I stand out

How's the water over here?
It's similar with added comfort
My skin stopped being a size too small

You are always innocent until proven guilty
Unless you are  black of course
Then you're always  guilty
If you are armed you're seen as dangerous
Unless you're black of course
Then your skin complexion is a weapon
All human life is equal
Unless you're black of course
Then you're nothing but a *****; dirt

It doesn't fit
it's my size
it's not my style

shouldn't I be comfortable in my own skin
why is it hard to breathe here
why do I feel like a prisoner

Constantly being bullied by my reflection
She doesn't radiate light
She triggers internal reflection

you will never be
you will never be
you will never be beautiful
she reminds me  

I am tired
I am tired
Tired of every day being a walk of shame
maybe it's time to out the flame