The pain was at ease and for a time i had
stillness within, but it was not to be for long.
As shady thoughts linger in my head again
my heart reaches the apogee of loneliness,
my chest stretches.
I can not forget nore i can allow such thoughts
to overwhelm me, so i locked them up.
I hid them even from those i love most,
for they deserve only joy and happiness
not the grouchiness of a troubled soul.

It feels strange and i question myself.
If you've taken my heart how am i still alive?
My life became an endless darkness
between the living you buried my body.
I'll make a suit of perfect dreams,
two heavenly spirits hold eternally.
They've pushed us too much we finally broke
they've made us fall but we'll make them crawl.

In vast mists of unending laments
spreads a silence with ominous vigil.
Shattered helms and cloven shields here lie cold
doomed to rust.
No wind blows as snowflakes fall
at these grey grass fields
spring seems to be forever gone.
Yet a flower grew with white petals
so helpless seemed to be but
no wind, no rain, no snow could harm its beauty.
A song was told by elven maids
and sunrays ogle its small green leaves.

There is nothing wrong with imitating who you respect
but don't go too far in that in order not to be a copy of him/her.
I realised that knowing the true identity isn't by achieving
everything or becoming perfect, becoming someone but
it's knowing what you can or can't do.
It's by being able to forgive yourself.
It's by knowing who you call family.
It's by loving someone truly, utterly
without narcissistic delusions.

Could anyone really advise us which path should
we choose in life? What kind of wisdom dictates us
to make the right choice?
What is right and what is wrong?
In this mixed up world choosing right from wrong is
not easy. We can't just go by someone else's rules.
If we let ourselves be controlled like this we just
become a mere shadow following someone's moves
that can't make decisions of its own.
We only hope to live by our rules as everything happens
for a reason and our destiny slowly takes form.
Try to remember that the stronger the light the darker the
shadow.

Great evil is born by corrupting
something truly good.
I'll fight the wolf with heart,
i'll beat the darkness with light.
Farewell my love.

Primevally related and akin
primevally different has been
mortal land of old heroic deeds.

Concerning the good, wise and beautiful
preserving the joy, love and passion.

A small glimpse of what it was
this place of significant motive
in history and legend.

As the song may declare
only the gods know where we run.

Your hug, your kiss, your breath
my feelings in resurgence.
At dusk, at daybreak, at dawn together.
Never separated from your soft skin and life flows
with pain at ease, in your caress, your gentle touch.
Your lips touch my neck again as you lie down next
to me and perch. I am lost...
Lost in your green eyes, enjoying your hand fondling
my beard. It's like a dream but i'm awake, my thoughts
frozen as i await your next kiss
and my heart ignites as your body
covers mine.

Sad how some people come all the way down just
to ask another beg for forgiveness, when they have
no right no just cause to do so.
What a fantasy must have been for them. If someone
says what they want to hear and not what is true,
well all know how empty the victory would be.
Someone suddenly walks through your door, tells you
he can give all the things you want, tells you to believe
an illusion and just like that he becomes sacred and
others an inconvenient obstacle to your ambitions.
The life cycle of your affections someone who loves you
who speaks the truth shunted aside on favor of someone
else who will tell you whatever you want to hear.

Why should we bound down to the past.
Deprived of any right, of any faith to
something new.
Caged in memories, treated like beasts
with no future ahead of us we have to
forge our own even if the price is high.
Never looked back
never wanted to
never had to
until now.

Old maze
random quotes
rare flavor of
invalid dreams.
Troubled heart
twisted memory
altered mood
humor in calmness.
Could this ever
be heard in folly
loyal to a fault
no more.

In fiery pits
my mind turns
and in cold days
my body trumbles.
I think of those
that were left behind
I think of her
when the night spreads
I think the poets that
filled my mind with
beautiful thoughts.

The origins of life, an absolute mystery.
Where and why?
All set and carved with ambition.
We could be messengers, preservers
but we are connected to conflict and destruction.
It is so enchanting to act like gods,
a staggeringly ambitious vision.
So many things could be so wrong,
so many unknowns.
What was it all for?
Knowledge?
Power?
Or just to show what was possible?
Ambtion, stubborness
nothing changed.

Grief had grown
ever worsening
robbed you of all joy.
Heart in dust
mind in ******
all you needed was trust
go ahead if you must.
You did not want to forget
and amid of all that bliss
dark seed of evil was sown.

Heart woven from world's greatest thread
with passionate beat
love donor
kindeness donor
strength donor
a titaness of life
which warm tears shine
of love even in gloom.
A goddess of compassion
a poetess of passion.
My heart fills with gratitude
my soul fills with love.
Thank you for being my friend
thank you for you might be
the best of us all.
If more were like you
the world would be a merrier place.
This poem and a smile my humble gifts to you.
Merry Christmas.

Slow heartbeat with heavy breath...
Tired of feeling lonely, my grey old blanket
was always big enough for two.
Now my heart is ever lonely.
I feel like that even when i am with family,
it's strange.
Feeling loneliness like a cold spot in the room,
at least you can tease me, shout at me,
get a reaction to know that i am still here.
But my sadness is like an icy well.
It's bottomless, swallows up my voice
and anything you try to drop into it.
I feel pain...

Honor, loyalty there is no point speaking to a liar
for such things, he simply can not understand.
The world can not be saved by people who are acting
like they have some secret nobility, just selling out narcissism.
Such illusion could only be created by ghosts throughout time.
Ghosts that led many to ruin and all for the sake of a tail
full of gain and wealth that will be written and forgotten
on a library's shelf. It will be never a tail of glory and honor
which they are so eager to preach, just a well set delusion
with a huge lack of ideals.
They would consider that hurting people with their lies would
be better from not doing it at all. What a joke...
There is nothing but unspeakable acts, soulless crimes
that they would call victory and all paid by the pain of human beings.

Living in this era of fear. Each one of us consumed by
something else. Loneliness, insecurity, death, even fear
falling in love. So much stress and anxiety, does it even
worth to try? Such question i dare ask myself and i
answer in relief, of course it does and there it is i have still
strength and will. I can still dream and put my thoughts
into action. Life is unique but so small.
A white canvas with black and grey
but with passionate red and caressing blue,
heartwarming brown with a handful of green,
monotone yellow and others not so fancy,
all needed, all creative, all ruthless, all forgiving.

Don't stop writing, just give it time!
Don't force it out!
Inspirtion could manifest into beautiful creations
to revolting thoughts commencing a cloud of wrangle
and contradiction.
Nevertheless good writings are not nice words
but heartfelt words.
Write whenever you want
write whatever you want
write whenever you feel it's needed to
expressing is all that matters.

We go where they want us to go
we stand where they want us to stand
and we think they already got the best
of us and they ain't getting no more.
Vengeance their strength.
How much is real?
So much to question.
They make fire and thunder
and so they leap from our hearts
and flow like a current that slides
through the echoes of our thoughts
and evanescent in our spark
of compassion.

So tired of this...
Are we so immature with such mistimed attitude?
Poeple knowing they choose the wrong person to be with,
complain with such query " Why he/she cheated?"
People being so selfish caring only for themselves,
complain with query " Why am i alone?"
People protest for multi genderism, for being vegans
or to whatever the modern society applies with
and all they do is ask with query
"Why there is poverty and unemployment?"
"Why there is war and discord?"
Well i ask why can't we see the truth?
Why can't we see through all those blinding mirrors?
Why we believe to whatever narcissistic crap appears
in front of us?

Is it dangerous i wonder
is it dangerous to dream?
I get it now a dream is not only hope
but also a warning and i realise that it takes time.
Time to walk a road covered in darkness, surely never
wished to go and i doupt that all walked to the very end.
I'll sail nonetheless.
I do not fear when my soul spreads wings desperate to fill
the void as i hear your voice " i am always with you.."

Emotional ups and downs, sigh..
Each one gets a part of me that could
not shake. The nuts just keep coming
out of the woodwork.

My eyes are opened now
struggles get better
living through was just a luxury
i'll push it till i am broken.

Overthrown but still a king
i breath the name
and taste the blame.
Everything they've said slipped
like sand between my armor scraps.
Everything they've done could remind
me the flavor of greed.
I could feel the rain again like
an ivoluntary addiction
i drew a line in the horizon.
I could only say your name to call
the reasons why i held the fight
deep within me.
Here is my cape and my sword
to keep you safe my lonely queen.

Let nothing grieve you beyond measure
life is short and time will claim its toll.
It's like moving forward but
remaining to a tempest of blood poetry.
Such an irony to feel free yet again
not satisfied completely.
Darkness is not meant to last
forever neither light.
The soul is the only immortal
essence in this world
the quintessence and glory of it all.

My ship is sunken
mast, wheel, sail
cracked, crushed, fallen.
Not now there is no time
forget your half measures
swim, breath, reach.
It's been so long
we've been through hell
and high water
you and me
but who do we want to be?
Sun up, sun down
time passes
but your memory can not
fade in the grey
it just comes and goes like
the tide in the moonlight's grace.

Your eyes deceived you once
your dedication even averted
you from getting a glance
you felt the need to confess
but to these gods you can not pray.
Follow the sun
follow the moon
follow the stars
maybe you should have followed your heart
and if you need so desperately the taste of divine
don't put your faith in gods nor demons for there are none
but believe in angels, the angels our human spirit could be.

Set everything in motion
set everything right.
Move on knowing that
you are the architect of your life
even of your death but do not fall
prey to dark thoughts of retribution,
that way madness lies.
That's how all went down?
You thought you found true peace.
How could that be when you still
carry all those burdens from the past?
Mystery, silence, doubt. That was your
mix, not your world. You always equated
facts with excuses, not feelings for it was
something getting in your way and never
understood that a fact is a not a way of
seeing things but what you see.
Why not retire from your standarts, just get out
of your head even for a little bit?

Our habbits, our age, our personality, our wealth,
our beauty are all meaningless in the face of death
and so the question "what matters most?"
becomes controversial. Poeple get confused and
close their eyes to what they do not understand.
But the truth of the matter is there are many unusual
things in this world. And people... People are the
most mysterious of them all.
Even those we love most are mysterious.
They might not be perfect, we might not be perfect
but they are there for us trying the best they can.
That's what makes this world so **** beautiful,
that's what matters most!

Rain falls because the clouds
can no longer handle the weight.
Tears fall because the heart
can no longer handle the pain.
Even the nicest people have
their limits.
No matter how strong they are
they too need someone to protect them.
No matter how happy they are
they too need someone to make them smile.
They who have been there for everyone
need someone to be there for them cause
their silence might be the most powerful scream.

Happiness, what's the meaning behind the word?
What could it be? My imagination wriggles.
My lips on hers?
My hands at her hair?
Her beautiful curves lying on my hug?
I think it's her eyes, her voice.
When i found happiness i knew it was real,
i could feel that i did not need a troubled mind.
I could feel the gap in my heart filled
not covered by the zest of a temporary comfort.
I knew where my roots grew
where waters shined silver
under the light of her star.

Rise my angel, rise from the ashes like
a phoinix, rise from the start till the end.
Falling is what awaits in this darkened
world for there is no blood in your veins
that could carry even a trace of hatred or guile.
Rise for you are light, rise my love above silver
streams and deep blue seas.
Spread your wings and hold me with your gentle
hands, kiss me again like the world falls apart
look at me and sing one more time.

I know you are tired so am i, we both suffered but not in vain.
You've shed countless tears and there is no doubt, no woman
loved me as much as you. I tried to be optimistic but i just can't.
We believed what we were doing was right and it was in a way,
but now i see. What we want from what we must do dictate different paths. When i asked you " What do you want from your life?", you simply answered " To be together, happy"
All i do now is stare a blank wall, loneliness followed by the calmness of the night. I try to write something else, joyful, poetic, colorful but i can't. It feels like the pencil in my hand moves by itself and i write about you, for you...
Everything around me seems grey, i sleep to much and when i am not i just lie down thinking, just thinking. Some music to ease my mind, heavy breaths to calm the pain in my chest. All i do is writing, reaching to a dead end.

I loved you.
I loved you so much
maybe more than a human
heart could bear
for your beauty and song
were not meant for mortals
and my poor soul could not
bear the loss of such.
You were part of my fate as i
was yours. Now i just want to
live to feel free for as long as it lasts.
You showed me that life has more to
offer than struggling for lost loves
or worthless virtues and if i have to meet
my end then so be it.