Trying.
To .
Breathe.

Can't.
Continue.

Room.
Darker.

Water.
I.
I need..
Water.

My..
My legs..
Are..
Giving out.

Heart.
Pounding.

Head.
Spinning.

I..
I need you.

Don't leave me!..

I..
Can't..
Do this..
Without you..

Stop walking away!
Please!
Anyone!
Help me!

I.
Can't..
...Breathe..

My darling
I'm sorry

I love you
I hate you
I need you
I fear you

You make me happy
You scare the **** out of me
I need you
Leave me alone
You saved me
Let me die

I can't stand you
But
I can't stand without you

Don't leave
Go away
You comfort me
Don't touch me
Stay
Get out of here

I'M BROKEN
YOU TRY TO FIX ME

LEAVE ME IN PAIN
IN PIECES
LIKE I'M MEANT TO BE

I don't deserve your
Warm
Loving
Caring
Heart.
I don't deserve love.

I deserve pain
Hurt
Suffering
Anger
Sadness.

Just..
Go away

I've never had what you give.
I'm afraid to accept it
because despite your promises, you might leave too.
I understand if you do.
...
But
Why stay?

You don't know.
I never told you.
I'm sorry..
But I know that's not enough...
So hear my side.

I never wanted him.
I had no choice.
Not really.
He forced what I didn't want.
I couldn't escape.
He had me pinned.
He played twisted mind-games.
My mother forced me to hang out with him.
How could I tell her what happened?
How could I tell anyone?

I found the strength.
I said no.
He got mad.
He made me look like a *****.
He made himself seem innocent.

He broke your heart.
He convinced you to leave.
He turned almost everyone against me.

You need to understand.
He's the one that ruined everything.
I love you and I never wanted you to get hurt.
He's a monster.
I deserved what he did to me.
Had it coming.
You did nothing to deserve that.
I'm sorry for what he did to you.
That monster wanted revenge on me.
It's reason?
Don't know.
But it had no right to go after you.
I'm sorry I didn't protect you.
I'm sorry I lost you.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I'm sorry.
I know it's not enough,
But my apologies are sincere
And if I could fix everything
Go back and change it
I would in a heartbeat.
I promise.

Times change.
People change.
We never think our parents will change.
Especially not for the worse.

Mom,
You held me tight
When I cried at night
And when Dad died.
You wiped my tears.
You pushed away my fears.

Now you've become
What you protected me from.

You push me away.
I cry in silence.
I drown in my tears.
I'm afraid of not having anyone;
Of being left behind.

I don't see why
I continue to cry
Because
When's the last time
You were actually there for me?

Three years ago.
Before that?
Four years.
Before that?
Five Years.

You can't just be part of my life
And then leave.
You can't just come and go
As you please
Then yell when I don't do
As you please.

Why don't you
Just get out of my life
And stay out

I'll just continue
To silently cry
In the dark
Until I fall asleep

..Wishing Dad was still here.

I'm intoxicated by your love, lips, touch
And can't get enough of you
I'm absolutely in love with you
I wish I could live in your arms
I wish you could've stayed longer
I look up; I see the stars shine so bright.
It reminds me of the sparkle in your eyes.
I only wish I could capture that light.

My love, you take my breath away
I wish we didn't need oxygen, so our lips never have to separate
Oh dear God, I'm high on your love.
I never want to be sober

Darling, you are my everything.
Without you I...
I'm simply nothing.
I'm absolutely nothing without you;
Without your love.

This is just a love poem.
Another pile of mush
That sets my heart free
And tells by buzzing mind to hush.

It's about you
And yet
I'll probably never show you
Because
It's just another mushy love poem
That doesn't matter all that much.

Why is that we become hypnotized
By those with the brightest of blue eyes?
Surprise, Surprise!
All that comes out are lies!
Lies!
Hurting those with innocent hearts.
Hurting those who are torn apart.
Hurt.
That's all they seem to cause.
No matter their intentions,
Those with
Green
Blue
Brown
Eyes
Will continue to cry
From the
Deep
Dark
Lies
That come
From
Deep
Blue
Eyes.

You want me to
Tell you,
Show you,
Explain to you
What is wrong with me,
What goes on in my head,
My past.
You want to understand
You want to help
You want to know the real me
Who I am..

The problem is..
I don't know either.
When you mentally suffer
Since birth,
You don't know the real you
Because you don't invent yourself.
You are too busy
Spending your life convincing
Everyone
That
"I'm fine"
"I'm okay"
...
but that's only the beginning
...
" Yes, I ate today"
(I think)
"It's a cat scratch"
(There's more on my hips)
"I don't know where the bottle is"
(under my bed, empty)
"Yeah, I slept fine"
(if you call 3 hours 'fine')

Lies I'll tell to everyone..
But you, love,
Are not "everyone", but
"Everything".
You are everything to me
And yet..
I can't tell you everything.
Not yet.
I will
When the time is right
I will
Tell you,
Show you,
Explain to you
What is wrong with me,
What goes on in my head,
My past.
So you can
Understand
Help
Know the real me.
And who I am.
But..
Until then...
Can you
Stay with me
Love me
Be patient with me
?