Times change.
People change.
We never think our parents will change.
Especially not for the worse.

Mom,
You held me tight
When I cried at night
And when Dad died.
You wiped my tears.
You pushed away my fears.

Now you've become
What you protected me from.

You push me away.
I cry in silence.
I drown in my tears.
I'm afraid of not having anyone;
Of being left behind.

I don't see why
I continue to cry
Because
When's the last time
You were actually there for me?

Three years ago.
Before that?
Four years.
Before that?
Five Years.

You can't just be part of my life
And then leave.
You can't just come and go
As you please
Then yell when I don't do
As you please.

Why don't you
Just get out of my life
And stay out

I'll just continue
To silently cry
In the dark
Until I fall asleep

..Wishing Dad was still here.

I'm intoxicated by your love, lips, touch
And can't get enough of you
I'm absolutely in love with you
I wish I could live in your arms
I wish you could've stayed longer
I look up; I see the stars shine so bright.
It reminds me of the sparkle in your eyes.
I only wish I could capture that light.

My love, you take my breath away
I wish we didn't need oxygen, so our lips never have to separate
Oh dear God, I'm high on your love.
I never want to be sober

Darling, you are my everything.
Without you I...
I'm simply nothing.
I'm absolutely nothing without you;
Without your love.

This is just a love poem.
Another pile of mush
That sets my heart free
And tells by buzzing mind to hush.

It's about you
And yet
I'll probably never show you
Because
It's just another mushy love poem
That doesn't matter all that much.

Why is that we become hypnotized
By those with the brightest of blue eyes?
Surprise, Surprise!
All that comes out are lies!
Lies!
Hurting those with innocent hearts.
Hurting those who are torn apart.
Hurt.
That's all they seem to cause.
No matter their intentions,
Those with
Green
Blue
Brown
Eyes
Will continue to cry
From the
Deep
Dark
Lies
That come
From
Deep
Blue
Eyes.

You want me to
Tell you,
Show you,
Explain to you
What is wrong with me,
What goes on in my head,
My past.
You want to understand
You want to help
You want to know the real me
Who I am..

The problem is..
I don't know either.
When you mentally suffer
Since birth,
You don't know the real you
Because you don't invent yourself.
You are too busy
Spending your life convincing
Everyone
That
"I'm fine"
"I'm okay"
...
but that's only the beginning
...
" Yes, I ate today"
(I think)
"It's a cat scratch"
(There's more on my hips)
"I don't know where the bottle is"
(under my bed, empty)
"Yeah, I slept fine"
(if you call 3 hours 'fine')

Lies I'll tell to everyone..
But you, love,
Are not "everyone", but
"Everything".
You are everything to me
And yet..
I can't tell you everything.
Not yet.
I will
When the time is right
I will
Tell you,
Show you,
Explain to you
What is wrong with me,
What goes on in my head,
My past.
So you can
Understand
Help
Know the real me.
And who I am.
But..
Until then...
Can you
Stay with me
Love me
Be patient with me
?

Shut.
Up.
Stop complaining.
So what if something didn't go right.
So what.
You can just shut up.

I'm a pessimistic optimist.
Look at the bright side.
At least you can see,
Talk to
Hold
Your Valentine.

Go shove
Your overrated love
Deep
Down
Your
Throat.

Choke
On
Your
Paper hearts
Overpriced candy
Flower arrangements
And wasted money.

It's just another
Greeting card holiday.

**** it, Hallmark!

Some people don't get to see their love
Some people have lost their love
Some people are alone
And some people just hate this
Stupid, unnecessary holiday
You.
Can.
Just.
****.
It.

Just **** it.
Because
If you really love someone,
You tell them
Show them
Treat them right
EVERY.
****.
*******.
DAY.
NOT JUST WHEN SOCIETY
******* TELLS YOU TO!

It's not love
If you have to be reminded.

Don't be afraid to express love.
So what if you care about someone
Other than yourself.
It's a change from some people.

•••••

Sorry.
Craving physical love
Such as the simplest touch
....
It drives you insane.

So go on.
Pay no attention
To this free verse
Rant of mine.
I just wish to hold
My intangible valentine.

2 hours.
A few stops.
Driveway.
In your arms.
We'd been waiting for six months.

Your touch.
Fingertips.
Hands.
In your arms.
Caressing each other's hair.
Lips.
Tongues.
Teeth to neck.
All over each other.
Worth the wait.
Today is my favorite day.
I love you.
I love you so much.
So ******* much.
I'm absolutely in love with you.

Soon.
You keep saying it.
Soon.
Soon you'll have the money.
Soon you'll have the right part.
Soon your car will be fixed.
Soon you'll make plans to come see me.
Soon.
Baby, "soon" just seems to be
How we now measure eternity
Because "soon" is never soon enough
And it's driving me crazy.
I said I'd gladly wait
As long as it takes
But days and days
Keep melting away.
Soon seems to be forever.
Darling, I'd wait for you forever,
But my heart hurts
And it yearns for yours
So much that I want to scream
And break down every door.
This feeling of want
Is impossible to ignore.
I know you feel it too.

Waiting is torturing us.
But we can't give up.
We're too in love.
I'll never let go.
I'll wait as long as I have to.
I just have a hard time dealing
With this overwhelming feeling.
I need to get it out
But it's not something I can
Openly talk to you about.
I need to let go.
Not of you.
But I do.
I need to let go of me.
I'm a tortured mess.
And I need to let go
Of what's torturing my soul.
I crave your touch
In our long distance love.
I'M TRYING TO BE TOUGH
AND WAIT OUT TO FEEL YOUR LOVE
BUT SOON JUST ISN'T ******* SOON ENOUGH!!!