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deyrah Nov 2022
I took a peak from a far away place, very close by!
Your heart, it reeked of pale sadness
And I was laughing out loud, so much!
Too much even...
And I decided to increase the pitch
So that the wind would take it to you
You'd hear it, I hope it makes you smile.
I hope you wonder, what sort of laughter is that loud, I hope you smile upon imagining what's got me giggling.
Then I hope you start to smile so wide I could spot if from the back of your head.
I hope the smile turns into a low chuckle
I want that chuckle to go on for minutes and turn into giggles.
Now laugh so hard that your tummy tightens and begin to hurt a bit.
Since no one has mastered happiness, there's no such thing as too much joy.
Now laugh until your pale heart recognizes that warmth.
Even if for that moment, I hope my laughter triggers yours and you forget that you were sad.
I know you're hurting...
I see you.
To a loved one I do not know yet!
deyrah Nov 2022
I want to go out...
Wish I had extra energy to hang out.
My comfort, my sweet bed
The softness that makes me forget I've got work to do.

I want to go out...
Hehe, go out to what??
Do you see the people out there??
There are out there so I can be in here
I do not belong with the "Extros"
I wonder how they feel when they go out of their comfort zone.
Nah, I don't, I don't even care how they feel.
I want to scream some days, but I'm too lazy to open my mouth and let sounds out, so I just... "Meh" the day away!

I want to go out...
I need me a vacation, a super occasion
One that takes away validation of an "intro"
But there are perverts out there, and they'll intrude in my "vert"
Why should I go out to meet the outside people when they won't come inside, I don't even want them inside.
I'm not confused, maybe just a little bit.
But please, don't call me out. I'll hate you 🙂
I wannnnnt to go out!
And so the days go by, and I've only gone out in my head.
deyrah Nov 2022
You
If mood swings were someone, it'd be you.
I bet if forensics dust my heart, they'd find your prints.
In a song with the worse lyrics, I think of you... I think of how if you were mentioned in the song it would've sounded better.
I think of you when I see a night without starts.
I think to myself, "what if you were here, maybe the starts would come out"
I think of you when I see you, cause I want to see you ever time and all the you(s) that you hide under that smile.
Whenever I think about a smile, I picture yours
It spreads in my head like colors dancing on a canvas.
When I think of canvases I see your reflection.
When I think about reflections, I picture your silhouette living like a parasite in my memory.
When I reminisce about memories, all I see is our hands locked, and you separating them, just so you can come closer.
When I see people becoming closer, I wonder if we could become even closer than that.
That! That time where I was in my own world until you saw me, saw who I really am.
Am I still the one for you, I often wonder while yhu're on me...
And I'm under!
deyrah Oct 2022
my heart's been stolen, and not in the cliche way...
i'm pretty sure that if you run forensics they'll find foot prints leaving
they'll find your finger prints at the place my heart once laid.
your eyes are so beautiful that when i first saw them...
i felt how useless mine were, that i almost couldn't open them up
let me stare at you from afar
let me wonder how it would be like, for you to like someone like me
i know you've got a ton of people lining up to get your attention
but if after all your options are exhausted
and you feel like you need something new
then, please consider me!
deyrah Sep 2022
all of a sudden you started to show up for me
just when i gave up on us
the only feeling i have towards you... is pity.
a pity that i lost you, but more pity cause you never had me
one day i stopped crying, stopped wishing
one day i remembered that i was too much for you
the only happy memory i had...
were those that you were absent from.
and One day, my heart left you, and came back to me.
love shouldn't exist for you.
deyrah Aug 2022
i think there's something urgently wrong with me
the sudden need to drive further ways from my heart
i cannot seem to follow my heart these days...
all the roads i created
all that my heart is connected to,
all the roads lead right to you

but...
i still cannot follow my heart
deyrah Aug 2022
she's a 10 but...
9 other times, she falls short of the way she's rated by the guys she has been with.
and 8 of those times she has been misunderstood by people she's met over the years.
7 other times, she's taciturn and not upfront of her feelings...
as she a little rough around the edges, clumsy if you're close enough to observe.
6 other imperfections have made her into an introvert...
she doesn't mind the way they look at her, or how bad her reputation is.
because 5 of the time she's feeding her pillow every night, with lonely tears, expecting it to grow like a plum blossom in spring...
4 times a day she's lonely...
ever so wanting to be needed
3 times daily she wonders about why her life feels empty, it feels stagnant and cold.
dependent on no one, while the in-dependency fails her in crucial times.
she's awesome in the most beautiful ways possible, on 2 occasions
she's the essence of a pure craziness and the epitome of all things good.
and most of all, there's none like her, even with all her flaws
she's the only 1 of her type!
so i just decided to jump on the (she's a 10 thingy)
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